Choosing hospice care...

[buffettbride]

Looks like we'll be choosing a hospice provider for my mom who has end-stage COPD. We have met with one hospice provider in our area. I didn't realize there were actually multiple options for this sort of thing. She'll mostly have comfort care and crisis management at home for +/- 6 months.

Any thoughts or suggestions?

We did hospice with my dad, but there was really only one provider in his area and I wasn't involved in the day-to-day-ness of it.

[springparrot]

I"m so sorry (((Mal)))
I have no knowledge in this area, but I think you need to talk to a few groups and see which one you are comfortable with.

[lime rickie]

I"m so sorry (((Mal)))
I have no knowledge in this area, but I think you need to talk to a few groups and see which one you are comfortable with.

So sorry to hear it, Mal. Is she currently hospitalized? The discharge planner or hospital social worker should be able to recommend an agency for you. I will say, the ones we dealt with when my mom died were one and all just lovely people. They just made my mom and all of us feel so comfortable, and comforted, throughout the process.

[buffettbride]

I"m so sorry (((Mal)))
I have no knowledge in this area, but I think you need to talk to a few groups and see which one you are comfortable with.

So sorry to hear it, Mal. Is she currently hospitalized? The discharge planner or hospital social worker should be able to recommend an agency for you. I will say, the ones we dealt with when my mom died were one and all just lovely people. They just made my mom and all of us feel so comfortable, and comforted, throughout the process.

Yeah. She is in the hospital. We talked w/ the hospice that the discharge planner hooked us up with... just wondering if "they are all relatively the same" or if "some are better than others" so I know how much thinking about this I need to do.

I'm not really finding a lot of hospice reviews, so I have no idea how much due diligence is needed here.

[lime rickie]

I"m so sorry (((Mal)))
I have no knowledge in this area, but I think you need to talk to a few groups and see which one you are comfortable with.

So sorry to hear it, Mal. Is she currently hospitalized? The discharge planner or hospital social worker should be able to recommend an agency for you. I will say, the ones we dealt with when my mom died were one and all just lovely people. They just made my mom and all of us feel so comfortable, and comforted, throughout the process.

Yeah. She is in the hospital. We talked w/ the hospice that the discharge planner hooked us up with... just wondering if "they are all relatively the same" or if "some are better than others" so I know how much thinking about this I need to do.

I'm not really finding a lot of hospice reviews, so I have no idea how much due diligence is needed here.

VNA/VNS is the biggest national player but there are lots of smaller agencies, too. You can always ask for references.

[buffettbride]

VNA/VNS is the biggest national player but there are lots of smaller agencies, too. You can always ask for references.

Yeah. Yesterday we met with a gal from VistaCare which is a for-profit agency, however I know there's one local org that is non-profit. Not sure one approach is necessarily better than the other.

It's all a little interesting at this point because not once has a doctor ever said >6 months to live, but from my recent reading, that is the first diagnosis you need in order to be considered hospice-eligible. So, in some sense I'd rather hear from a physician first rather than a hospice sales rep on why hospice is the right answer.

[pbans]

VNA/VNS is the biggest national player but there are lots of smaller agencies, too. You can always ask for references.

Yeah. Yesterday we met with a gal from VistaCare which is a for-profit agency, however I know there's one local org that is non-profit. Not sure one approach is necessarily better than the other.

It's all a little interesting at this point because not once has a doctor ever said >6 months to live, but from my recent reading, that is the first diagnosis you need in order to be considered hospice-eligible. So, in some sense I'd rather hear from a physician first rather than a hospice sales rep on why hospice is the right answer.

Mal,
I used Vista Care with my Mom and I have nothing but absolute glowing, beautiful, wonderful words to say about them. They took such amazing care of my Mom.....and they took care of me and Caitlin. I still keep in touch with my social worker a couple of times a year and Mom has been gone almost seven years.
Sending you some good thoughts.....it's a rocky effin' road at best.
Love you.

[buffettbride]

VNA/VNS is the biggest national player but there are lots of smaller agencies, too. You can always ask for references.

Yeah. Yesterday we met with a gal from VistaCare which is a for-profit agency, however I know there's one local org that is non-profit. Not sure one approach is necessarily better than the other.

It's all a little interesting at this point because not once has a doctor ever said >6 months to live, but from my recent reading, that is the first diagnosis you need in order to be considered hospice-eligible. So, in some sense I'd rather hear from a physician first rather than a hospice sales rep on why hospice is the right answer.

Mal,
I used Vista Care with my Mom and I have nothing but absolute glowing, beautiful, wonderful words to say about them. They took such amazing care of my Mom.....and they took care of me and Caitlin. I still keep in touch with my social worker a couple of times a year and Mom has been gone almost seven years.
Sending you some good thoughts.....it's a rocky effin' road at best.
Love you.

Thanks, Paigey. I ruv you lots.

Very, very good to know. That's probably enough for me to focus my energy on something other than digging deep into hospice providers. I'm actually really looking forward to some of the relief my stepdad will get from all this. He's really struggled with caring for my mom the last year or so and this will let him focus on being her husband rather than all the other stuff.

[lime rickie]

Not sure how hard and fast the < 6 months rule is anymore. I work for an insurance company and I know that is the guideline to initiate services, for Medicare, too. But if she's terminal we wouldn't cut her off if she lingers longer than that. In a weird way, the time may pass more quickly...being comfortable and pain free at home sometimes helps patients, and families, let go.

And that is a great point about your stepdad...as you said, he needs this time to just be a husband.

(((Mal)))

[conched]

(((Mal))) :'-(
So sorry about your mom. Sending prayers for all.

[springparrot]

When my Aunt was in hospice, the group got so close to the family that afterwards, my cousin started working for hospice.

[springparrot]

When my Aunt was in hospice, the group got so close to the family that afterwards, my cousin started working for hospice.

[pbans]

When my Aunt was in hospice, the group got so close to the family that afterwards, my cousin started working for hospice.

I seriously considered it when I retired from the PD. The social worker tried really hard to talk me into going back and finishing my degree and coming to work with them. I love my job now, so I'm glad that I didn't....but what a sad yet rewarding career it would be. I always think that hospice workers get a free pass to heaven.

Vista Care had such great respite care programs that would be awesome for your step-dad. As things got close to the end with my mama, we had 24 hour nursing staff at my house. They brought in clergy, support staff (they even did light cleaning for ME while I was taking care of my mom), their grief counseling services after my mom died really helped both Caitlin and I so much.

[buffettbride]

When my Aunt was in hospice, the group got so close to the family that afterwards, my cousin started working for hospice.

I seriously considered it when I retired from the PD. The social worker tried really hard to talk me into going back and finishing my degree and coming to work with them. I love my job now, so I'm glad that I didn't....but what a sad yet rewarding career it would be. I always think that hospice workers get a free pass to heaven.

Vista Care had such great respite care programs that would be awesome for your step-dad. As things got close to the end with my mama, we had 24 hour nursing staff at my house. They brought in clergy, support staff (they even did light cleaning for ME while I was taking care of my mom), their grief counseling services after my mom died really helped both Caitlin and I so much.

My kiddos would probably appreciate that. Victoria and her 'Grammy' are very, very close.

[pbans]

When my Aunt was in hospice, the group got so close to the family that afterwards, my cousin started working for hospice.

I seriously considered it when I retired from the PD. The social worker tried really hard to talk me into going back and finishing my degree and coming to work with them. I love my job now, so I'm glad that I didn't....but what a sad yet rewarding career it would be. I always think that hospice workers get a free pass to heaven.

Vista Care had such great respite care programs that would be awesome for your step-dad. As things got close to the end with my mama, we had 24 hour nursing staff at my house. They brought in clergy, support staff (they even did light cleaning for ME while I was taking care of my mom), their grief counseling services after my mom died really helped both Caitlin and I so much.

My kiddos would probably appreciate that. Victoria and her 'Grammy' are very, very close.

For sure take advantage of it when the time comes, Mal. It was a real amazing bonding experience for Caitlin and I to take the counseling together. We still talk about it often. It gave us some really good coping skills and you pretty much learn how to give yourself a break, which is something we've both carried forward.

[mommar]

Don't know anything about hospice care Mal...but I will keep your mom in my prayer s, and wish you well with your decision.

[buffettbride]

She's home from the hospital now. Haven't officially met w/ anyone w/ hospice yet, but they helped her and my stepdad get settled back in at home (he is still recovering from major back surgery he had a month ago so this is very physically stressed).

She has the best of the best when it comes to medication. She probably weighs 75lbs on a fat day. While she is the poster child for never smoking, it's just sad, sad, sad.

I can't imagine this is going to last very long. She thinks once she gets all her meds adjusted w/ hospice that she'll be 'up and about' in a week or two, but I just don't see it. Maybe it's the pessimist in me. My sister (bless her heart) is a terrific optimist and is convinced mom will 'fail' hospice and we'll have another Christmas. Me? Not so much.

On the plus side, I guess the hallucinations are fantastic. It's the small things, I suppose.

[nutmeg]

Mal I'm so sorry you are going through this. I have no expertise on hospice but I'm sending all of you hugs and strength. ((Mal and family))

[buffettbride]

Hospice has been great.

Probably just a few more days now.

[conched]

(((Mal))) keeping you and your mom and family in my prayers.