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Kinja Rules
Written by: Jimmy Buffett
Performed by: Jimmy Buffett

Originally from the Album: Don’t Stop The Carnival (1998)

Lyrics:
/Lorna
Mista Paper, Senator Pullman he just call. He ask how come ya don need no watah

/ Norman
Don’t need water!

/ Lorna
Well, you let the barge go by He comin’ to talk to you

/ Norman
Who is Senator Pullman anyway

Why do I have to signal the barge?

/ Iris
Welcome to the Caribbean, put on a shirt at least. The big enchilada is on his way

/ Senator Pullman
Mr. Norman Paperman, I presume? Joinin’ us in Kinja for de tourist boom?

/ Norman
Norman Paperman at your service Meeting the kingpin, I’m slightly nervous

/ Pullman
Mr. Paperman, I here to be your friend But there’s just certain rules here we can not bend / Paperman How about the water? My cistern’s flat. / Pullman Why sure, I come to take care of dat / Chorus BUT You gotta play by Kinja rules Forget about da tings you learned in school We use a different box of tools And you gotta play by Kinja rules / Pullman Now dis alien ain’t bonded for no gondolier He’s bonded for GARDENER-dat why he here De Chief of Immigration a power in dis town Chief find out-your hotel close down

/ Paperman
Hereafter gardening’s all he’ll do I didn’t know, I swear to you

/ Pullman
Doan’ hoross yourself, it’s okay mister De Chief of Immigration-she’s my sister

/ Chorus
BUT You gotta play by Kinja rules
Forget about that civics course you learned in school
We ain’t city folks, but we ain’t fools
And you gotta play by Kinja rules

/ Pullman
Stop!

/ Paperman
How about my water?

/ Pullman
Hold you hosses I come to dat Look at da chambermaid, she mighty fat
And if dat alien have her baby here Dat baby an AMERICAN, free and clear De Secretary of Interior, he gonna rave And dat baby on your record From da cradle to da grave Your responsibility-I doan mean maybe Da bottom line sir, dat YOUR BABY

/ Chorus

You gotta play by Kinja rules
Forget about da tings you learned in school We use a simple box of tools And you gotta play by Kinja rules

/ Paperman
I’ll send her away-but this club’s bone dry

/ Pullman
No problem, lots of watah you can buy

/ Paperman
Buy water, Senator? That’s your advice?

/ Pullman
Chief of Public Works give you a special price

/ Paperman
Chief of public works Who’s he-your brother?

/ Pullman
Ha ha, not bad she’s Lorna’s mother

/ Chorus
SO You gotta play by Kinja rules Forget about da tings you learned in school We use a different box of tools And you gotta play by Kinja rules / Paperman Senator, I thank you. Now one thing’s clear I’ve got to hire a Kinjan gondolier / Pullman Now dat a problem- / Paperman What’s the reason

/ Pullman No unemployment-it’s high season Can’t hire no Kinjan to wear dis hat / Paperman And I can’t use an alien? / Pullman Don’t ask dat / Paperman You’ve been a great help, sir-you’ve got my vote Just tell me-who’s going to row that boat?

/ Pullman
YOU gotta play by Kinja rules
Forget about da tings you learned in school
Just take it easy, play it cool
But be sure to

/ Paperman joins Pullman
Play by Kinja rules

/ Extra Chorus
You gotta play by Kinja rules
Forget about that civics course you learned in school
God watches out for drunks and fools
But forget the Ten Commandments here
Kinja rules Kinja rules Kinja rules Kinja rules

/ Pullman
Norman Paperman, I feel you soon adjust to Kinja, hahaha

Shows Played At:
Number of Shows: 0