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TOO FUNNY Penny!!!

A Pig Story A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50. The farmer's lived sixty miles apart. S...

Our bathroom will be done in shades of turquoise and the typical seashells and such. I just painted my kitchen walls the shade of green (Sweet Midori from Behr paints) in MrMiatas first pic! I love it!! The trim is bright white and the wall behind my stove and fridge will be a coordinating blue colo...

HOOOLLLLLYYYY CCOOOWWWW!!!!!!!

Now that's funny right there, I don't care who y'are!!

A woman had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As she sits down, a man came along and asked her if anyone is sitting in the seat next to her. "No," she said, "the seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat l...

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night. Mick, the bartender, , says "You'll not be drinking any more tonight, Paddy." Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then". Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. ...

CHILI CONTEST If you can read this whole story without tears of laughter running down your cheeks, then there's no hope for you! Today of all days, you gotta get a smile on your face. Please excuse the language, not trying to be x rated. *Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attent...

This is for those of you who get so mad when someone dares to put something political on here. Learn to take a joke!!! You KNOW who you are!! :D One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill, and the barber replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm...

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at thi...

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a dr...

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner? You decide. Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes aro...

A Cow's Tail A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to YOU?" "Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult ho...

Your Cat's New Year's Resolutions My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace with that. I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium. I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and throw them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty ...

Be sure to refill the ice trays, we're going to have company after while. Quit slamming the screen door when you are on your way out! Be sure and pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like a shower is coming up. Wash your feet before you go to bed, they are nasty from playing outside all d...

8. Same for pies-Apple-Pumpkin-Mincemeat, have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? :) :) Can I just have three slices of Mince-meat?? << haven't had a slice in.. :) UH... ...

Too funny Wino!!!!