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A vacationing couple walking down a street in Honolulu stop a man.
"Excuse me sir, I've never been clear on how you pronounce your state.
Is it Hawaii or Havaii?"
"Havaii."
"Thank you."
"You're velcome."

I am leaving tomorrow at dawn to head to Paulden, AZ. My aunt, who I am now conservator for, has a home there. I will return Sunday evening. The weather page says its 90+ with thunderstorms. Should be fun. Everyone act right while I am gone. Or at least have fun. If anything happens while I am gone ...

playing on the net

reading email

playing solitare

every one is true....

I read the article earlier this morn, and wanted to see the photo.

It looks to me like the pic shows them pointing at their heads, like saying ‘think’.

Another blown out of proportion thing.

I heard tommy today on stern, and I really want to go to the show....

classic funny stuff....

since pair8head beat me to my first choice, I will say..

send you off to college, to gain a little knowledge, but all you want to do is.... (then have all the kids in the class shout) LEARN HOW TO SCORE!!

Did you hear about the gay midget?

He came out of the cupboard.

There is an elephant in the way…brilliant.

Find X, the student did answer correctly.

Expand, he followed directions, so technically he is right.


they are the future of the world, I am glad I'll be dead and gone.....

thats a good one. sounds like me and my neighbors.....

Sail on, Mr Hayes.......

So I am trying to get a tick to see Dylan at the SM Civic. I was on at 10am when they went on sale. I am asking for two, best available. Does not sound too far out there does it? Tells me they can’t find any tick to match your request, and then it tells me to visit their ‘partner site’ and sends me ...

fare thee well, funny man....

an autoclave.

protien shake and a piece of cheese....

dinner, thats another story...

Why did the cowboy get a dachshund?

Because someone told him “get a long, little doggy”.

LIPH wrote:This is part of one of my posts in one of the Newport threads from yesteday:

LIPH wrote:At least we weren't subjected to some self-congratulatory "look where I went on my vacation" video of Jimmy in some far off corner of the world.

I enjoy the vids, but he is one self promoting dude for sure.

I know you are, but what am I? you don't know s-- from Shinola. (george carlin quote, "I wonder how the people at Shinola feel about that.") scratch your neck go fly a kite a saying in hebrew, never said it, but heard others use it. sounds something like "my-cak-in-ya-fin-yam" me...

Is that like ‘whoopty-freakin-do’?

Egg incubator (I want them to hatch already cooked)

Car radiator