Posted: April 4, 2002 8:05 am
If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. simply pour
a jug of boiling water down it's throat and voila - the blockage is
almost instantly removed
a mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock, will usually prevent
you from turning off the alarm, rolling over and going back to sleep
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away
liquor bill too high? Try drinking cold tea instead, and then the
following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a
thimble full of dishwashing liquid and banging your head repeatedly on
the wall. Definiitely yields the same results
make bath times as much fun for kids as is a visit to the ocean beach
by pouring a bucket of sand, a bag of salt and several dog turds into
the bathwater
recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool by filling the
bathtub with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating
into it, before jumping in
thicken up runny low-fat yogurt by stirring in a spoonful of butter
a next door neighbor's car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal
coat hanger in an emergency
an empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an
inexpensive
vibrator
here's one for you heavy smokers. Don't throw away those filters from
the end of your cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you'll
have enough to insulate your attic
a jug of boiling water down it's throat and voila - the blockage is
almost instantly removed
a mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock, will usually prevent
you from turning off the alarm, rolling over and going back to sleep
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away
liquor bill too high? Try drinking cold tea instead, and then the
following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a
thimble full of dishwashing liquid and banging your head repeatedly on
the wall. Definiitely yields the same results
make bath times as much fun for kids as is a visit to the ocean beach
by pouring a bucket of sand, a bag of salt and several dog turds into
the bathwater
recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool by filling the
bathtub with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating
into it, before jumping in
thicken up runny low-fat yogurt by stirring in a spoonful of butter
a next door neighbor's car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal
coat hanger in an emergency
an empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an
inexpensive
vibrator
here's one for you heavy smokers. Don't throw away those filters from
the end of your cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you'll
have enough to insulate your attic