It's a Buffett Concert afterall ...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » February 26, 2000 1:38 pm

Posted By phjim
It's a Buffett Concert afterall ...

A man wins a ticket to a Buffett concert from a local radio station. When he gets to the concert he finds out that the seats are terrible. About an hour into the show he spots an empty seat near the front. He works his way down there and asks the man in the next seat over, "Is there anyone sitting here?" "No", replies the man. "Can you imagine someone having this ticket and not using it?" Our hero asked. "Well, it was for my wife, but she passed on recently." "Oh, Im sorry. But couldn't you find a loved one or a relative to take the seat?" "No," he replies. "They are all at the funeral."

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 16, 2000 8:59 am

Posted By desertmanatee
I will never forget this joke as long as i live. Thank you

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 16, 2000 1:33 pm

Posted By ohio
D.Manatee: What a great user name! ^^'s up! Which desert do you call home?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 16, 2000 8:06 pm

Posted By PGHPIRATE
i like that joke cuz i will never miss another jimmy concert for anybody's wedding, birth or funeral...and everybody knows this. had to miss a concert a couple years ago cuz of a wedding and the marriage only lasted 10 freakin mos. NEVER AGAIN!!!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 17, 2000 5:35 am

Posted By Anonymous
i've seen the same joke used in a variety of scenarios. generally it is used for sporting events.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 18, 2000 8:16 pm

Posted By Parrotress
Great one!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 18, 2000 8:32 pm

Posted By elizabeth
The only wedding I had to miss a Buffett concert
for was MY OWN! Not that I was phoolish enough
to have scheduled my nuptials on a Margaritaville
Mecca Day, just plain ran out of $$$$$$$. We did,
however, go to Key West on our honeymoon!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 19, 2000 10:15 am

Posted By PGHPIRATE
elizabeth, you're a good woman...i wouldn't even attend my own funeral if it was on a concert day!
going to key west was a good choice though

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 21, 2000 3:27 am

Posted By elizabeth
We'll just have to plan Ohio's wedding around ALL
of the concerts, unless Jimmy would want to stage
at Ohio's venue:"Who wants to marry a parrothead?"

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 21, 2000 3:48 am

Posted By well duh
well, I think we can rest assured that ohio is smarter than Darva whats-her-name

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 21, 2000 12:21 pm

Posted By elizabeth
WD/HF
Easily assumed; Ohio is a parrothead and an upstanding member of the phlock. Ohio, have you recovered from the shock? Do you have a groom in mind or should we delegate that to maybe Navymom! She's appears to be most recently removed from the available list and probably has some possibilities for the job.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 21, 2000 3:18 pm

Posted By PGHPIRATE
ohio,

listen to me, if it ain't broken, don't fix it!!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 22, 2000 12:56 pm

Posted By ohio
ok, NavyMom can find me a groom, but, do me a favor Navy...please remember that I'm 6'1". Short guys are great, but they usually just want to slow dance with me!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 22, 2000 1:51 pm

Posted By NAVYMOM
Ohio I'll be happy to post here what type of groom I'm sure we will as a phamily agree will fit your taste

1. you MUST be an OFFICIAL PARROTHEAD
2. you Must have lots o money as Ohio has a huge phamily that she Needs to see us at least ONCE a year (if not more)
3. you Must have a JIMMY yacht (or something comparable in size)to transport her and her ENTIRE phamily to All events where ever and when ever these events are occuring relating to Jimmy Buffett
4. you MUST (in the horrible event of a divorce) agree that Ohio will become sole heir to the type of transportation that you provided HER and US to all these to these events and keep her in the life style that you got HER and US accoustom to
5. If any 'keets" are born out of this union that they will indeed be named with names relating to Jimmy Buffett
If I have left Anything out (which I'm sure I did) Please be advised that anything you say or do to upset Ohio and Us Can and Will be used against you in the court of law according to the statues set forth by the Entire Parothead Phamily!!!! Ohio on the other hand agrees to make you all the "boat drinks you can handle while making her own. She will also agree to having her Entire phamily with ya'll on your honeymoon so we can be there for the party afterwards.

So there you have it!!! Now Ohio your on your own here as far as what you require in looks, age and height wise. but remember girlphriend DO NOT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS!!! Please keep us posted. May God bless you in finding that person and if ya do could you please inquire about a possible brother for PGHPIRATE!!!!!! shes a "wee" person and sometimes it's real hard to spot her cuz she's "under tall" like me!!!! LOL

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 22, 2000 2:16 pm

Posted By ohio
LMAO!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 22, 2000 4:23 pm

Posted By PGHPIRATE
HEY NAVE:

don't go advertising for any "gentleman callers" for me, i'm quite happy at this point, sleeping single in a queen-sized bed. don't want no permanent reminders of a temporary feeling!!!!
i'll know him, when i spot him myself

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 22, 2000 11:04 pm

Posted By well duh
I read through the entire day's posting waiting for this, & I must say, I think Ohio's taken it very much in stride that we've taken it upon ourselves to plan her life in her absence. I do, however, have a couple of things which might be added to the list for consideration:

Ohio, I'm too lazy to scroll back up & see: would you would be for or against former altar boys? (I know a couple...)

Since height is a criteria, would you have objections to former NBA players with copious amounts of tattoos? (Though I don't think these unions are long-lasting...)

What's your position on Mad Dog drinkers?

& finally, & most important, what are your feelings about fellows who might want to test that one-size-fits-all pantyhose theory using your garments?

(Oh sorry, guys -- that's gross. As usual, a long Monday, & I'm punchy).

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 23, 2000 6:07 am

Posted By elizabeth
All of those interested in applying, send picture of Jimmy yacht.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 23, 2000 11:32 am

Posted By ohio
WD: a)altar boys are fine with me. b)NBA is fine, but, please limit the tattoos. c)Mad Dog (as long as not a daily requirement) is fine. d)I don't think I want to share my pantyhose.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » May 23, 2000 7:48 pm

Posted By PGHPIRATE
hey ohio:

did you ever stop and think that your groom could be just waiting for you at your local parrothead club????? another reason to join and go to key west!!!! if i ever remarry, it HAS to be to another parrothead, cuz no one else understands....