Dear Friends,
Posted: December 14, 2002 3:37 pm
Dear Friends.
I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this
year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some goodies
for me to leave under your tree at Christmas.
I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we
had a little problem. The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords-a- leaping have
knocked up the 8 maids a-milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been
arrested for doing weird s*** to the 7 swans -a-swimming. The 6 geese
a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge
in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird s***.
On top of all this Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation and some people who can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January.
Maybe next year I will be able to get my s*** together and bring you the
things you want. This year however , I suggest you get your asses down to Wal-Mart before everything is gone.
Sincerely,
Santa Claus
I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this
year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some goodies
for me to leave under your tree at Christmas.
I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we
had a little problem. The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords-a- leaping have
knocked up the 8 maids a-milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been
arrested for doing weird s*** to the 7 swans -a-swimming. The 6 geese
a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge
in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird s***.
On top of all this Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation and some people who can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January.
Maybe next year I will be able to get my s*** together and bring you the
things you want. This year however , I suggest you get your asses down to Wal-Mart before everything is gone.
Sincerely,
Santa Claus
