Geography Lesson
Posted: January 17, 2003 9:48 pm
> > > > Geography Lesson
> > > >
> > > > You live in California when...
> > > > 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a
house.
> > > > 2.The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his
cell
> > > phone.
> > > > 3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your
driveway.
> > > > 4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
> > > > 5. You drive to your neighborhood block party.
> > > > 6. Someone asks you how far away something is, you tell them
how
long
> > > it
> > > > will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
> > > >
> > > > You live in New York when...
> > > > 1.You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean
Manhattan.
> > > > 2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty.
> > > > 3.You can get into a 4-hour argument about how to get from
Columbus
> > > Circle
> > > > to Battery Park, but can't find WISCONSIN on a map.
> > > > 4. You think Central Park is "nature."
> > > > 5.You believe that being able to swear at people in their own
> language
> > > > makes you multilingual.
> > > > 6. You've worn out a car horn.
> > > > 7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
> > > >
> > > > You live in Alaska when...
> > > > 1. You have only four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and
Tabasco.
> > > > 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
> > > > 3.You have more than one recipe for moose.
> > > > 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight
buttons.
> > > > 5. The four seasons are winter, still winter, almost winter,
and
> > > > construction.
> > > >
> > > > You live in the Deep South when...
> > > > 1. You get a movie and bait in the same store.
> > > > 2."Ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
> > > > 3. After fifteen years, you still hear, "You ain't from 'round
here,
> > > are
> > > > ya?"
> > > > 4. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
> > > > 5. Everyone has two first names.
> > > >
> > > > You live in Colorado when...
> > > > 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
> > > > 2. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
> > > > 3.The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail.
> > > >
> > > > You live in the Midwest when...
> > > > 1.You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your
name.
> > > > 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a
tractor.
> > > > 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to"A/C" on the same day.
> > > > 4. You end sentences with a preposition:"Where's my coat at?"
> > > > 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say,
"It
Was
> > > > different!"
> > > >
> > > > You live in Florida when...
> > > > 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
> > > > 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses
and
> > > cars.
> > > > 3.Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
> > > > 4.Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
> > > > 5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
> > > > 6.You don't know how to vote.
> > > >
> > > > You live in California when...
> > > > 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a
house.
> > > > 2.The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his
cell
> > > phone.
> > > > 3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your
driveway.
> > > > 4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
> > > > 5. You drive to your neighborhood block party.
> > > > 6. Someone asks you how far away something is, you tell them
how
long
> > > it
> > > > will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
> > > >
> > > > You live in New York when...
> > > > 1.You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean
Manhattan.
> > > > 2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty.
> > > > 3.You can get into a 4-hour argument about how to get from
Columbus
> > > Circle
> > > > to Battery Park, but can't find WISCONSIN on a map.
> > > > 4. You think Central Park is "nature."
> > > > 5.You believe that being able to swear at people in their own
> language
> > > > makes you multilingual.
> > > > 6. You've worn out a car horn.
> > > > 7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
> > > >
> > > > You live in Alaska when...
> > > > 1. You have only four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and
Tabasco.
> > > > 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
> > > > 3.You have more than one recipe for moose.
> > > > 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight
buttons.
> > > > 5. The four seasons are winter, still winter, almost winter,
and
> > > > construction.
> > > >
> > > > You live in the Deep South when...
> > > > 1. You get a movie and bait in the same store.
> > > > 2."Ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
> > > > 3. After fifteen years, you still hear, "You ain't from 'round
here,
> > > are
> > > > ya?"
> > > > 4. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
> > > > 5. Everyone has two first names.
> > > >
> > > > You live in Colorado when...
> > > > 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
> > > > 2. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
> > > > 3.The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail.
> > > >
> > > > You live in the Midwest when...
> > > > 1.You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your
name.
> > > > 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a
tractor.
> > > > 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to"A/C" on the same day.
> > > > 4. You end sentences with a preposition:"Where's my coat at?"
> > > > 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say,
"It
Was
> > > > different!"
> > > >
> > > > You live in Florida when...
> > > > 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
> > > > 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses
and
> > > cars.
> > > > 3.Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
> > > > 4.Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
> > > > 5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
> > > > 6.You don't know how to vote.
