Driving in Ohio
Posted: July 17, 2003 11:19 am
I live in Ohio and witness this daily, and of course, I don't do any of these. . . 
BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN OHIO
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Ohio
driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you
and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by
somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance
you have of getting hit.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects
it and it will result in you being rear-ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.
Ohio a no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn't have
anything to lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that
your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake
pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch
your legs.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good
way to scare people entering the highway.
8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and
are apparently not enforceable in any Ohio town during rush hour.
9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up
or move over doesn't mean that an Ohio driver flashing his high
beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or
even someone changing a tire.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Ohio is the home of the high-speed
slalom driving thanks to the state highway department, which puts
pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on
their toes.
12. It is traditional in Ohio to honk your horn at cars that don't
move the instant the light turns green.
13. Remember that the goal of every Ohio driver is to get there
first by whatever means necessary.
14. In Ohio, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a
polite Ohio salute. This gesture should always be returned.
BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN OHIO
1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Ohio
driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you
and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by
somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance
you have of getting hit.
4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects
it and it will result in you being rear-ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.
Ohio a no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn't have
anything to lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that
your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake
pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch
your legs.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good
way to scare people entering the highway.
8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and
are apparently not enforceable in any Ohio town during rush hour.
9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up
or move over doesn't mean that an Ohio driver flashing his high
beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or
even someone changing a tire.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Ohio is the home of the high-speed
slalom driving thanks to the state highway department, which puts
pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on
their toes.
12. It is traditional in Ohio to honk your horn at cars that don't
move the instant the light turns green.
13. Remember that the goal of every Ohio driver is to get there
first by whatever means necessary.
14. In Ohio, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a
polite Ohio salute. This gesture should always be returned.
I guess you havent been to Florida lately!!! 
P.S.-I grew up in Ohio-was a teen driver there!!! Had a few close calls!