What costume to wear?

[FinsUp328]

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a
Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear
to hide his head and his leg, so he writes to a
costume company to explain his problem. A few days
later he received a parcel with the following note.

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted
handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your
wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have just
emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of
complaint. A week goes by and he receives another
parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe
will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head,
you will really look the part.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

Now the man is really upset since they have gone from
emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald
head, so again he writes the company another nasty
letter of complaint. The next day he gets a small
parcel and a note which reads:

Dear Sir,
Please find the enclosed bottle of molasses. Pour the
molasses over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up
your ass and go as a caramel apple.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co