The 18 clues to calling it a night
Posted: November 11, 2003 3:21 pm
- YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO GO HOME WHEN:
1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.
2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull
your pants up in the ladies room.
3. You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's
ass.
4. On your last trip to the bathroom you realized you
now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess
you were just four hours ago.
5. You drop your 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor, pick
it up and carry on eating.
6. There are less than 3 hours before you're due to
start work.
7. You've found a deeper side to the office nerd.
8. The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th
grade teacher.
9. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand
on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.
10. You've forgotten where you live.
11. You've started to sound like Jessie Ventura from
the cigarettes you've smoked, because (as you've
mentioned, like 10 times by now) you only smoke when
you drink.
12. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated
you by giving you just tonic, but that's just because
you can no longer taste the gin or vodka.
13. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels
strangely like pizza.
14. You start every conversation with a booming,
"Don't take this the wrong way, but...."
15. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when
you sit on it.
16. Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling
take-down moves.
17. You're tired so you just sit down on the floor
(and why not!).
18. You show your friends that girls can pee standing
up if they really want to.
1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.
2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull
your pants up in the ladies room.
3. You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's
ass.
4. On your last trip to the bathroom you realized you
now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess
you were just four hours ago.
5. You drop your 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor, pick
it up and carry on eating.
6. There are less than 3 hours before you're due to
start work.
7. You've found a deeper side to the office nerd.
8. The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th
grade teacher.
9. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand
on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.
10. You've forgotten where you live.
11. You've started to sound like Jessie Ventura from
the cigarettes you've smoked, because (as you've
mentioned, like 10 times by now) you only smoke when
you drink.
12. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated
you by giving you just tonic, but that's just because
you can no longer taste the gin or vodka.
13. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels
strangely like pizza.
14. You start every conversation with a booming,
"Don't take this the wrong way, but...."
15. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when
you sit on it.
16. Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling
take-down moves.
17. You're tired so you just sit down on the floor
(and why not!).
18. You show your friends that girls can pee standing
up if they really want to.
