The Difference in the Minds of Cats and Dogs
Posted: December 26, 2003 8:51 pm
Whoever came up with this must have visited the Marquiss Casa - all the way down to the bird!!! 
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
8:00 a. m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a. m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a. m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a. m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a. m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p. m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p. m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p. m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p. m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p. m. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 p. m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p. m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of
escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of
furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by
weaving around their feet while they were
walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt
to
disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit
on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make
them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little
cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary
confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
food.
More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is
routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a
half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every
move. Due to his current placement in the metal
room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time ......
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
8:00 a. m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a. m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a. m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a. m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a. m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p. m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p. m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p. m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p. m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p. m. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 p. m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p. m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of
escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of
furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by
weaving around their feet while they were
walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt
to
disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit
on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make
them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little
cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary
confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
food.
More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is
routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a
half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every
move. Due to his current placement in the metal
room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time ......
