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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?"



A man walks into a bar, the guy behind him ducks.



A ham sandwich walks into the bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."



A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve string here." So the string goes back outside, ties himself in a knot and frays himself at the ends. He goes back in the bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Aren't you the string I just kicked out of here?" The string replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

That last one was a GROANER!!!

citcat wrote: That last one was a GROANER!!!

That's one of my favorites! Hey, I didn't say they were good...

Ilph wrote:

A man walks into a bar, the guy behind him ducks.

or

Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would have ducked.

Termite walks in to a bar and says, "Is the bar tender here?"

HockeyParrotHead wrote:Termite walks in to a bar and says, "Is the bar tender here?"

LOL!!!

Just got back from Phoenix (this is not a joke)
Saw the Coyotes play. Real coyotes with sticks and skates could've played better hockey! (also not a joke) Tee times are already made.

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer... and a mop."


(wait for it... )

A duck walks into a bar, orders a drink and says, "put it on my bill."

can't resist.....

$5 bill walks into a bar, bartender says "hey, we don't want you here, this is a singles bar."

An Irishman walks out of a bar.......

it could happen.

Those are all nice!!!

So two jumper cables walk into a bar.
Bartender says, "You guys better not start anything in here."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says to the man, "Hey guy, you've got a steering wheel down your pants." The guy replies "Yeah I know. Its driving me nuts!"

Holy crap, I forgot about that one. One of my all time favorites. I'm going to tell that one to every person I see today.

Duck walks into a bar....bartender says "hey, your pants are down!"

A duck walks into a bar.
He says to the barman: "Excuse me, have you got any bread?"

The barman says: "No, sorry. We haven't."

The duck says: "Have you got any bread?"

The barman says: "I said no."

The duck says: "Have you got any bread?"

The barman says: "No."

The duck says: "Have you got any bread?"

The barman says: "Nope."

The duck says: "Have you got any bread?"

The barman says: "I've told you four times already - no!"

The duck says: "But have you got any bread?"

The barman says: "No bread."

The duck says: "Have you got any bread?"

The barman says: "I said no." The duck says: "Have you got any bread?"

The barman says: "For the last time, no!"

The duck says: "Have you got any bread?"

The barman says: "OK, here's the deal - you ask me that once more, I'm going to nail your beak to the bar."

The duck says: "Have you got any nails?"

The barman says: "No."

The duck says: "Have you got any bread?"