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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

I am sure falling to the ground at 100+ mph would short circuit the processes involved in pulling a funny on your phriends.

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

Deep thoughts....by phtnt.....

CUparrot wrote:Deep thoughts....by phtnt.....

well....... thoughts anyway

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else." Then everybody would leave the Cricket Boy alone, and I'd invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after about five minutes of that loud chirping I'd have to kick him out. Maybe later we could get up a petition to get the Cricket Family run out of town. Bye, Cricket Boy.

Damn Doctor left the key where he could reach it again

If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to that.

Yer crackin' me up!

Gotta love those deep thoughts.........

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

Free dummy! That's funny!

Sometimes, when I drive across the desert in the middle of the night, with no other cars around, I start imagining: What if there were no civilization out there? No cities, no factories, no people? And then I think: No people or factories? Then who made this car? And this highway? And I get so confused I have to stick my head out the window into the driving rain---unless there's lightning, because I could get struck on the head by a bolt.

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of your nose.

Why don't they make more things out of NERF?

It could reduce household injuries by a wide margin.

When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.

What ever the f**k you are smokin' pass some this way