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Posted: May 10, 2004 8:22 am
by 12vmanRick
I wish one of my best friends would move away. Then he would stop coming over and drinking all my beer, tequila and eating all my food
On a serious note. My other best friend, who a lot of you know, Cuervo. Moved away several years ago. I went through several emotions during that first year. We stayed in touch, our friendship is as strong as when he left and someday maybe we can be close enough, distance wise, to drive to hang out. Bottom line, if the friendship is strong you will be able to keep it.
Posted: May 10, 2004 11:02 am
by iuparrothead
This is a very unfortunate and difficult thing to get used to Melli!

I've agonized over friends relocating so much over the recent years since leaving college. It's an awful feeling to miss someone. In the end, it's the truest test of friendship. I've discovered that the people that really are friends are ones who take the time and make the effort to keep in touch and stay friends. And sometimes you just lose touch with others... it happens, and it sucks... But, you just have to keep up the correspondence and before you know it, your friendship very well might be better than ever!!!

Posted: May 10, 2004 11:59 am
by MelliJellyBean
iuparrothead wrote:This is a very unfortunate and difficult thing to get used to Melli!

I've agonized over friends relocating so much over the recent years since leaving college. It's an awful feeling to miss someone. In the end, it's the truest test of friendship. I've discovered that the people that really are friends are ones who take the time and make the effort to keep in touch and stay friends. And sometimes you just lose touch with others... it happens, and it sucks... But, you just have to keep up the correspondence and before you know it, your friendship very well might be better than ever!!!

That's exactly what I'm afriad of! Losing touch and going our seperate ways. We BOTH have to make an effort and I'm willing to do that. I'm not his only friend here though...so he's being pullled in a million different directions this last week here..........
Posted: May 10, 2004 12:07 pm
by Cubbie Bear
Melli, I feel so sorry for you, I too have been there.... but maybe on the other side.
My college friends were the best. After graduation, the ones that moved on were tough but we managed to stay in touch. I stayed in town, fell in love and lost, then moved back to Chicago. I went back to Illinois State University about every other weekend or they came up for Cubs, Sox or Bears games. I stayed close for about three years.
In 1983 I got a job in professional baseball management, after 4 great years and still being in contact with folks from Clinton, Iowa, I became the Vice President of a big baseball holding company. From 87-92 I moved six times. Plus, even though I was based in one city, I spent much time in others. Over the course of time, I have lost contact with everyone I knew or cared for. I have had little or no luck finding them either.
In 1992, we decided to get out of the rat race and moved back to Clinton. All my friends now had families, new friends, new interests and in a nutshell, I have (other then wife and keets) been very lonely.
We have made friends with a lot of the parents from school and church, but still feel like an outsider looking in most of the time. A day doesn't go by that I don't wish I could call up Mike, Don, Rich and say "lets go get crazy", but I don't know where they are. Not a day passes I don't think of the "one that got away". I Googled her name and found a picture last week. She is still hot (I never was) that explains some things.
I spend to much time here, because it really helps. I have made wonderful friends, that I have never even met in person (but I will) Things work out, you are so friendly, personable (cute) I can't imagine you being alone very long. Hang in there sweetie
Posted: May 10, 2004 1:57 pm
by MelliJellyBean
It's really great to know that I have all of you as my friends and no matter where you are I can talk to you!
I'm feeling a bit better today -- drank my sorrows away a bit last night, but oh well.
The worst thing is that there is this girl that is a friend of my boyfriends and we are finally really hanging out and realizing we have so much in common. Her little sister (12 years old) committed suicide last month...and I've really been there for her.....poor thing. Anyways...she'll be moving back to Philly in 4 weeks..I'm just gonna make the most of the time we have left.
I'm planning to go to Philly (for my first time) in June to a concert (Y100 Fest) and i hope that will be the first of many trips to see her.
The problem with visiting my other best friend in NC is that he's living with someone I don't really care for *sigh* Maybe we can meet up at concerts though.
I was just in shock yesterday. I just didn't realize I only had 5 days to spend with my friend...most of which he is working and I am doing the same!
Again....hearing how you guys are coping has been a big help. maybe it won't be soooo bad..
Posted: May 10, 2004 2:25 pm
by iuparrothead
Ironically Melli, one of my good friends is moving away this weekend. She was an "associate", not a real friend, in college. Then I moved away and we lost touch because we weren't that good of friends anyway. Well she ended up living in the Chicago suburbs with her fiance' when I moved here 2 years ago. She's become a really good friend over the past 2 years, and I'm super bummed that she's leaving. BUT, as I said before, I'll just have to keep up the correspondence and see where things go from there!

Posted: May 10, 2004 2:33 pm
by MelliJellyBean
iuparrothead wrote:Ironically Melli, one of my good friends is moving away this weekend. She was an "associate", not a real friend, in college. Then I moved away and we lost touch because we weren't that good of friends anyway. Well she ended up living in the Chicago suburbs with her fiance' when I moved here 2 years ago. She's become a really good friend over the past 2 years, and I'm super bummed that she's leaving. BUT, as I said before, I'll just have to keep up the correspondence and see where things go from there!

i hope that goes well! I guess it just means we have to plan extra special events/parties and invite all of our friends back to see us!
Posted: May 10, 2004 2:40 pm
by aquaholic
If my buddies moved away...............Firstmate would throw a party!!!!!
Posted: May 10, 2004 2:43 pm
by longlinergirl
Hi. Sorry to hear about your friend, but I am the mean best friend who moved away and I try to make sure that I keep in contact as much as possible...of course with us that means just about everyday. Its not the same as being there, but you gotta make do. Just remember they didn't leave becaue of you, but most likely to better themselves and as a friend you should be happy for them. I do little things (as does she) to make it feel as much like the old days as possible, like calling her from my cell if I am out at the bar, or if we both happen to be out we will call each other and do a shot together via phone. I also make sure that when I visit home, that I spend as much time with her as I can. Anyway...my 2 cents.....
Posted: May 10, 2004 5:46 pm
by MelliJellyBean
well im now doubting the strength of our friendship.
Posted: May 10, 2004 6:16 pm
by psychjava
nope Melli, no doubting right now.....
you're still feeling the shocks of your feelings of abandonment, but don't say anything in haste you may regret later. For now, just focus on your friendship and the ways you'll still keep in touch.
Remember, Internet is woman's best friend now, so you have all of the AOL, MSN, instant messenger services, you have email, and you have cell phones which make long distance phone calls ultra cheap
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! You've got friends right in front of you that you may not appreciate...."roll with the punches" and you never know what will happen!
Phin power going out to you girl!!! Good luck!
Posted: May 10, 2004 7:06 pm
by ragtopW
Melli.. this isn't like that one friend? the S/O friend ? is it
cause if THAT boy is leaving Uncle Wayne will have to come and reason
with him

Posted: May 10, 2004 8:18 pm
by hikingontuesday
I have to agree with Cubbie --
In the past 8 years I've lived in four major cities. I left Boston for a job to Seattle (which I hated.) I missed my friends so badly and kept trying to get back to visit. Well, my new job picked up and I was always traveling... missing big events, getting in late at hotels and it was too late to call... I lost many great friends.
I never really "connected" with the Seattle folk, so I moved to SF. It was just as hard there and my job was in the news business... so it was 24/7.
I finally jumped off the merry-go-round and moved here to Arizona where I had a sister and a few "friends." Well, sister moved and everyone else is married. They are great people, but we don't have the same interests. I have to beg them to come to Buffett concerts (can you imagine??) I really wanted to see Seal and also the Barenaked Ladies and couldn't get a person to budge and come with me. I go to wine tastings, book clubs, etc. but it is hard to meet people at my age (38) they are all doing the Soccer Mom thing and I am single.
Remember when "friends" meant being there for one another and trying things you didn't really know because it meant something to your pal? There aren't many day's I don't regret making that initial move from Boston. But I can't go back, too much has happened in all their lives.
Be there for your friend, because this move may not be all they are hoping for... and they will need you either way. To rejoice in their new-found happiness, or wallow in their new sorrow.
I'll be thinking of you!
Posted: May 10, 2004 8:20 pm
by longlinergirl
[quote="hikingontuesday"]I have to agree with Cubbie --
In the past 8 years I've lived in four major cities. I left Boston for a job to Seattle (which I hated.)
Frasier???
Posted: May 10, 2004 9:04 pm
by parrotsgirl
Melli Im so sorry you're so sad.....and I dont have any wise wisdom for you.....
But I will tell you this...If it's a "true" friendship, it can and will withstand anything, even distance.....My BEST friend in the world lives 1,000's of miles away.......so if you both work at it, it will all work out...
{{{{{MELLI}}}}
Posted: May 11, 2004 6:58 am
by mrmiata
All my friends now had families, new friends, new interests and in a nutshell, I have (other then wife and keets) been very lonely.
This is why you can never go home. The last time I went to Houston it felt like a foreign country. I could never move back, though I spent the first 19 years of my life between there and College Station.
I was only gone for 18 months from East Tennessee. It was easy to come back, and I don't have that many friends I associate with on a regular basis anyway.

Posted: May 11, 2004 10:48 am
by RhumChum
Hey Melli . . . I have very few friends where I live, mine have all moved away as well. I love to visit them and have them come and visit me. It's really hard, though, when the family gets in the way. They don't seem to like my friends so I see them all alone. These people on the board that go places with their families are really lucky to be able to have fun with them and their friends. When y'all see me, I'm always alone - but I have fun!
Posted: May 11, 2004 10:54 am
by ph4ever
RhumChum wrote:Hey Melli . . . I have very few friends where I live, mine have all moved away as well. I love to visit them and have them come and visit me. It's really hard, though, when the family gets in the way. They don't seem to like my friends so I see them all alone. These people on the board that go places with their families are really lucky to be able to have fun with them and their friends. When y'all see me, I'm always alone - but I have fun!
I'm chopped liver?
Posted: May 11, 2004 12:55 pm
by Cubbie Bear
Having no real friends is one of the reasons I spill so much stuff here, I know you guys will listen and understand or make fun of me and tell me to shut up. But friends do that too
But you guys have also inspired me. Operation find my friends will begin shortly. I just ordered the new Illinois State University Alumni Directory. Now if they added the section to cross reference nicknames, I'll be all set
Posted: May 11, 2004 1:16 pm
by MelliJellyBean
Cubbie Bear wrote:Having no real friends is one of the reasons I spill so much stuff here, I know you guys will listen and understand or make fun of me and tell me to shut up. But friends do that too
But you guys have also inspired me. Operation find my friends will begin shortly. I just ordered the new Illinois State University Alumni Directory. Now if they added the section to cross reference nicknames, I'll be all set
it seems in college though, you meet so many people that you're like "what was their last name?" Right now I am good friends with 6 different guys named Josh! lol
I lost touch with most of my high school friends, so I'm going to do everything in my power to not let that happen to my best buds in college.