Stupid People

11bravo · Post by **11bravo** » May 26, 2004 1:32 pm

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid."
That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes
and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?"

"Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a
week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?"

"Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel.
There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "All right, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good...
They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it
hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't
wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my
truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?"

I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!"

See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and
eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning ... okay...no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?"

I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."

I stayed late at work one night and a coworker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?"

I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

Anybody you know need a sign today? Send this to all your friends.
The next time someone says something stupid ask them where their sign is.

sailingagain · Post by **sailingagain** » May 26, 2004 2:24 pm

That's awesome!! I laughed my ass off.

The other day when I was training for my fight, my instructor was bending my arm in a horrible way. I yelled out in pain and tapped out for him to stop. Needless to say, one of the new students goes:"Did that really hurt?"

Give him his sign.

Ilph · Post by **Ilph** » May 26, 2004 2:33 pm

Actually, that's from Bill Engval, one of the Blue Collar Comedy tour guys.

Ceol na Mara · Post by **Ceol na Mara** » May 27, 2004 1:27 am

Especially the "delivering a bridge" and "those other three (tires) just swelled right up on me" !

My husband HATES birthday cards that proclaim on the front "It's Your Birthday!!!" Like you would never have known if you hadn't gotten this card! I never even thought about it until he pointed out how stupid it was. I guess I need a sign.

phjrsaunt · Post by **phjrsaunt** » May 27, 2004 8:27 am

Reminds me of somebody's (sorry, can't remember who) signature line on BN: "being stupid should be painful."

comemonday · Post by **comemonday** » May 27, 2004 9:41 am

Ilph wrote:Actually, that's from Bill Engval, one of the Blue Collar Comedy tour guys.

You're right; I could picture the guy saying it (but I couldn't think of his name), and it sure wasn't Andy Rooney.