Why men are happier

Ilph · Post by **Ilph** » July 21, 2004 8:11 pm

WHY MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
>
>His last name stays put.
>
>The garage is all his.
>
>Wedding plans take care of themselves.
>
>Chocolate is just another snack.
>
>He can be president.
>
>He can never be pregnant.
>
>He can wear a white t-shirt to a water park.
>
>He can wear NO t-shirt to a water park.
>
>Car mechanics tell him the truth.
>
>He never has to drive to another gas station restroom because this one
>is
>just icky.
>
>He doesn't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
>bolt.
>
>Same work, more pay.
>
>Wrinkles add character.
>
>Wedding dress! $5,000. Tux rental -- $100..
>
>People never stare at his chest when he is talking to them.
>
>The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
>
>New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle his feet.
>
>One mood - all the time.
>
>Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
>
>He knows stuff about tanks.
>
>A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
>
>He can open his own jars.
>
>He gets extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
>
>If someone forgets to invite him, he or she can still be his friend.
>
>His underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
>
>Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
>
>He never has strap problems in public.
>
>He's unable to see wrinkles in his clothes.
>
>Everything on his face stays its original color.
>
>The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
>
>He only has to shave his face and neck.
>
>He can play with toys all his life.
>
>His belly usually hides his big hips.
>
>One wallet and one pair of shoes in one color for all seasons.
>
>He can wear shorts no matter how his legs look.
>
>He can "do" his nails with a pocket knife..
>
>He has the freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
>
>He can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in
>45 minutes.

sailingagain · Post by **sailingagain** » July 21, 2004 8:39 pm

I love the Christmas line!!

Bob Roberts · Post by **Bob Roberts** » July 22, 2004 6:12 am

AMEN!

buffettbride · Post by **buffettbride** » July 22, 2004 12:26 pm

...but hath thee forgotten, women control the one thing y'all want more than anything else. that enough is our reward.

rednekkPH · Post by **rednekkPH** » July 22, 2004 4:38 pm

buffettbride wrote:...but hath thee forgotten, women control the one thing y'all want more than anything else. that enough is our reward.

Women control the beer?

buffettbride · Post by **buffettbride** » July 22, 2004 4:43 pm

rednekkPH wrote:
buffettbride wrote:...but hath thee forgotten, women control the one thing y'all want more than anything else. that enough is our reward.
Women control the beer?

EVCIceman · Post by **EVCIceman** » July 23, 2004 9:12 am

rednekkPH wrote:
buffettbride wrote:...but hath thee forgotten, women control the one thing y'all want more than anything else. that enough is our reward.
Women control the beer?

Pure gold.

Ilph · Post by **Ilph** » July 25, 2004 8:02 pm

EVCIceman wrote:
rednekkPH wrote:
buffettbride wrote:...but hath thee forgotten, women control the one thing y'all want more than anything else. that enough is our reward.
Women control the beer?
Pure gold.

Liquid gold. There's a pork chop in every can

PHAW Webmistress · Post by **PHAW Webmistress** » July 25, 2004 8:07 pm

Ok they all made me spew but this one made me snort

>His underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

phjrsaunt · Post by **phjrsaunt** » July 25, 2004 8:39 pm