Religion for dummies

nycparrothead · Post by **nycparrothead** » August 5, 2004 4:04 pm

zanth wrote:
nycparrothead wrote:There's a lot of talk in the bible about the second coming of Christ. When that happens, will we need umbrellas?
Yeah dude, it's been like 2000 years, think about it

YIKES DUDE!!!!

PHBeerman · Post by **PHBeerman** » August 5, 2004 4:04 pm

zanth wrote:
nycparrothead wrote:There's a lot of talk in the bible about the second coming of Christ. When that happens, will we need umbrellas?
Yeah dude, it's been like 2000 years, think about it

We may need another arc.

rednekkPH · Post by **rednekkPH** » August 5, 2004 4:04 pm

Coconuts wrote:Being on your knees doesn't count as praying...

That's not what Father Slippyfist told me

12vmanRick · Post by **12vmanRick** » August 5, 2004 4:06 pm

ragtopW wrote:
ph4ever wrote:
PHBeerman wrote:You know God is a man because if he was a she. Implants would not exist.

yea they would!!!!! Penal implants would be very popular!!!!!
You beat me to it!!!!! BTW owwwwww

Some of us don't need it. Being hung like a mosquito never hurt my sex life

Coconuts · Post by **Coconuts** » August 5, 2004 4:06 pm

PHBeerman wrote:But they are not. The frequency of orgasms is more proof that God is Male.

Wouldn't that be proof that God is female?

12vmanRick · Post by **12vmanRick** » August 5, 2004 4:07 pm

This whole thread reminds me of Sam Kinnison and his Jesus jokes

rednekkPH · Post by **rednekkPH** » August 5, 2004 4:08 pm

Coconuts wrote:
PHBeerman wrote:But they are not. The frequency of orgasms is more proof that God is Male.
Wouldn't that be proof that God is female?

Maybe you're both right. Maybe god is like Cartman's Mom.

zanth · Post by **zanth** » August 5, 2004 4:10 pm

12vmanRick wrote:This whole thread reminds me of Sam Kinnison and his Jesus jokes

Who's Jesus?

12vmanRick · Post by **12vmanRick** » August 5, 2004 4:11 pm

zanth wrote:
12vmanRick wrote:This whole thread reminds me of Sam Kinnison and his Jesus jokes
Who's Jesus?

That mexican dude that swam the Rio Grande and thought he was god

zanth · Post by **zanth** » August 5, 2004 4:19 pm

12vmanRick wrote:
zanth wrote:
Who's Jesus?
That mexican dude that swam the Rio Grande and thought he was god

If you can swim the Rio Grande you obviously are a god!!! Glad we worship such a worthy diety...

PHBeerman · Post by **PHBeerman** » August 5, 2004 4:22 pm

Did everyone get struck by lightning?

zanth · Post by **zanth** » August 5, 2004 4:24 pm

PHBeerman wrote:Did everyone get struck by lightning?

I was busy building false idols and eating bacon, sorry

PHBeerman · Post by **PHBeerman** » August 5, 2004 4:26 pm

zanth wrote:
PHBeerman wrote:Did everyone get struck by lightning?
I was busy building false idols and eating bacon, sorry

You too?

12vmanRick · Post by **12vmanRick** » August 5, 2004 4:28 pm

PHBeerman wrote:
zanth wrote:
PHBeerman wrote:Did everyone get struck by lightning?
I was busy building false idols and eating bacon, sorry
You too?

I was drinking tequila and chasing it with shots of holy water

Coconuts · Post by **Coconuts** » August 5, 2004 4:30 pm

Mmmm. Bacon.

I got struck by work. I think I'd rather have lightening, that pain goes away.

LIPH · Post by **LIPH** » August 5, 2004 4:32 pm

ph4ever wrote:
PHBeerman wrote:You know God is a man because if he was a she. Implants would not exist.

yea they would!!!!! Penal implants would be very popular!!!!!

What does going to jail have to do with big johnsons?

rednekkPH · Post by **rednekkPH** » August 5, 2004 4:35 pm

LIPH wrote:What does going to jail have to do with big johnsons?

Nothing, so long as you don't drop the soap.

12vmanRick · Post by **12vmanRick** » August 5, 2004 4:44 pm

rednekkPH wrote:
LIPH wrote:What does going to jail have to do with big johnsons?
Nothing, so long as you don't drop the soap.

I would have expected YOU to get that answer

nycparrothead · Post by **nycparrothead** » August 5, 2004 10:01 pm

When Jesus stubs his toe, does he yell out "ME"?

Key Lime Lee · Post by **Key Lime Lee** » August 5, 2004 10:20 pm

desert parrot wrote: There was this French philosopher back in some early century who basically said something to the effect that when calculating the odds that there is a god, wouldn't it be better to take the bet that there is rather than there is not? This way, if there is, you made the right bet. If there is no god than it don't matter nohow anyway!!!

Pascal's Wager. Pascal was a p^%%y.

He reasoned that there was one of four possible outcomes:

He believes in god and god exists - he goes to heaven.
He believes in god and god doesn't exist - nothing happens.
He doesn't believe and god exists - he goes to hell.
He doesn't believe and god doesn't exist - nothing happens.

Considering those outcomes, he figured his odds would be best if he believed.

This was at a time when every philosopher from Descartes to Aquinas to Kant was trying to establish both the existence of god and/or justification for believing in him. It's a little sad actually to see great philosophers making tenuous leaps of logic in their attempts to justify the philosophical existence of god. Descarte should have stopped with "I think therefore I am" (although I believe "I think" is the only truth) and the argument by design is positively faulty logic.

Frankly I think that if there were a god, he would reject those who believe merely to save their own ass, but then I think that if there were a god he would be dsigusted for what passes as religion these days.

Tom- I don't think Jesus was a cult leader - I believe he was a philosoper, much like the Buddha, or Mohammad or any number of great minds. There are lessons to be learned from him, but I wouldn't annoit him lord.