Shower

11bravo · Post by **11bravo** » August 18, 2004 8:59 am

How to Shower Like a Woman :

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do
more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah, and pumic stone.

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with
natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair.

11. Shave armpits and legs.

12. Turn off shower.

13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap
hair in super absorbent towel.

15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.

16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

How To Shower Like a Man:

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in
a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener
at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your
wiener and scratch your ass.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Wash your face.

6. Wash your armpits.

7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound
in the shower.

9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

11. Shampoo your hair.

12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

13. Pee.

14. Rinse off and get out of shower.

15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.

16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull
off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound
again.

19. Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone one among you who did not laugh at the truth behind
this email, there is something so very wrong with you.

unclejohn · Post by **unclejohn** » August 18, 2004 9:29 am

buffettbride · Post by **buffettbride** » August 18, 2004 12:59 pm

I think you live at my house!!

sailingagain · Post by **sailingagain** » August 18, 2004 1:11 pm

Have you been watching me?

buffettbride · Post by **buffettbride** » August 18, 2004 1:12 pm

sailingagain wrote:Have you been watching me?

'woo-woo'

Big Phan · Post by **Big Phan** » August 18, 2004 1:59 pm

Big Phan · Post by **Big Phan** » August 18, 2004 2:00 pm

Sorry...mouse finger must have been trigger happy

redwinemaker · Post by **redwinemaker** » August 18, 2004 3:01 pm

an oldie but a goodie

Sidew13 · Post by **Sidew13** » August 18, 2004 6:06 pm

truth hurts

ragtopW · Post by **ragtopW** » August 18, 2004 9:36 pm

Ilph · Post by **Ilph** » August 20, 2004 6:22 pm

So very true

comemonday · Post by **comemonday** » January 26, 2007 10:42 am

I was just checking to see if this was posted before I posted it.

flipflopgirl · Post by **flipflopgirl** » January 27, 2007 3:45 am

aeroparrot · Post by **aeroparrot** » January 27, 2007 8:04 am

I got to find where the peep hole is.