SAT questions

[SMLCHNG]

The following questions and answers were collated
from the SAT tests given to
16 years-old students! You have to admit some are very
creative.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can
be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it
removes large pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them
perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: What causes the tides in the ocean?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the
Moon. All water tends to
flow toward the moon because there is no water on
the moon and nature abhors a
vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: In a democratic society, how important are
elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male
gets an election.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get
intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward
to adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?
(e.g., abdomen).
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the
brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain,
the borax contains the heart
and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five
bowels, A, E, I, O and
U.

Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraption by wearing a
condominium.

Q. Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section"
A. The caesarian section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman Emperor..

Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a
characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so
they look like
umbrellas.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

And just think, one day our social security payments
will depend on these
kids!!

[ragtopW]

[Ceol na Mara]

True story:
In my ninth grade biology class, on a matching test, one of my classmates matched "Occupational Disease" with "Venereal Disease". He wasn't wrong! I think he was supposed to match it with something sewer workers get (I forget what).

And this was a Catholic school!

[RinglingRingling]

True story:
In my ninth grade biology class, on a matching test, one of my classmates matched "Occupational Disease" with "Venereal Disease". He wasn't wrong! I think he was supposed to match it with something sewer workers get (I forget what).

And this was a Catholic school!

I am sure there have been a few sewer workers who have contracted venereal diseases on their lunch hours...

[Prthd119]

There was a kid in my World History Class in High School?

The question was "What was the Phoenicians greatest contribution to civilization?"

His answer?

"Phoenician Blinds"

[RinglingRingling]

There was a kid in my World History Class in High School?

The question was "What was the Phoenicians greatest contribution to civilization?"

His answer?

"Phoenician Blinds"

which is odd, given how close in time that was to the height of Phoenician civilization and all....





















:running like mad:

[SMLCHNG]

The question was "What was the Phoenicians greatest contribution to civilization?"
His answer?
"Phoenician Blinds"

[pair8head]

A buddy of mine answered the question


How did Admiral Grey enter the harbour?

His answer


Stark naked in a row boat.

The teacher gave him credit for it, then marked the next answer wrong even though he got that one right.