The Accident

[cocapelle]

Mrs. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell her that her husband's
been in a terrible automobile accident. She rushes to the hospital, runs
into
the ER and says her husband's been in an accident. They tell her Dr. Smith
is handling the case.
They page the doctor. He comes out into the waiting room to see a terribly
upset Mrs. Jones. "Mrs. Jones?" the doctor asks.
"Yes, doctor, what's happened? How is my husband?" The doctor sits next
to her and says, "Not good news, I'm afraid. Your husband's accident resulted
in two fractures of his spine." "Oh my God!" says Mrs. Jones, "What is the
prognosis?"
"Well, Mrs. Jones, the good news is his vital signs are stable. However,
his spine is inoperable. He'll have no motor skills or This means you will
have to feed him." Mrs. Jones begins to sob...
"And you'll have to turn him in his bed every two hours to prevent
pneumonia."
Mrs. Jones begins to! wail and cry loudly...
"Then, of course," the doctor continued, "you'll have to diaper him as
he'll have no control over his bladder and, of course, these diapers must be
changed at least five times a day." Mrs. Jones begins to shake as she
cries, sobs, wails...
The doctor continues: "And you'll have to clean up his feces on a regular
basis, as he'll have no control over his sphincters. His bowels will
engorge whenever and quite often, I'm afraid. Of course, you clean him immediately
to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent he'll be emitting regularly."
Now Mrs. Jones is convulsing, sobbing uncontrollably and beginning to
Wither off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mass.
Just then, Dr. Smith reaches out his hand, pats Mrs. Jones on the
shoulder, and says,
"Hey, I'm just messing with you. He's dead."