Review of CIP Columbus location

[a1aara]

NO RESERVATIONS
Island-themed eatery awash in sea of fat, salt
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Jon Christensen
FOR THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH

Cheeseburger in Paradise opened the same month as Cheeburger Cheeburger, less than a block away in the Polaris area.

Fittingly, given the fattening menu, Cheeseburger in Paradise is less than 100 feet from a Jenny Craig Weight Loss Center, a fitness center that advertises a 30-minute workout and a Little Gym on the other side of the parking lot.

And why not, when the appetizer lineup is mostly deepfried or fried, not to mention hearty? A platter that includes mini-cheeseburgers, barbecued ribs, wings and deep-fried onions is typical of the starter list.

Then there’s the house salad ($4.45), with a large amount of deep-fried won ton mixed throughout the iceberg, cucumbers, grape tomatoes and bluecheese crumbles, dominating all with crunchy oiliness.

Inside, the decor is faux Kahiki, for those who want to pretend they’re on a deserted tropical isle while they eat their cheeseburgers, and the music is loud enough to smother attempts at conversation.

The label on the Heinz 57 sauce that’s on every table says that it "adds zest" to chicken, steak and so on — and, one hopes, to the Cheeseburger in Paradise itself ($7.25), a large mound of fried ground beef that tastes more boiled than a burger should. It’s dull despite the slice of tomato and two slices of cheese on top, so reach for that sauce and see whether it’ll help yours. It did mine.

French fries come with each burger and also can be had a la carte ($2.95). Thin-cut, they’re supposed to be seasoned; however, they don’t have much flavor, potato or otherwise, even though they give every indication of having been cut and fried on the premises.

Try substituting the excellent sweet-potato chips for the fries. Compared with the other fried offerings, they’re light, with natural sweet-potato flavor.

You’ll do better with the "tropical mixed-grill satay" ($11.95) than with the burger: two skewers each of salty, marinated chicken and beef. The beef gets the satay seasonings; the chicken has Cajun spices and is cooked a bit more than it should be.

The satay comes on a bed of iceberg lettuce (here called "field greens") and has two dipping sauces: ranch that supposedly has jerk seasonings and "coconut curry" that tastes like curry powder stirred into mayonnaise.

A similar, peppery seasoning does a decent job of flavoring a flank steak that’s grilled briefly and rolled (el charrasco steak, $14.95). But you’ll have to tolerate lots of salt and cooking oil, even in the coriander sauce that comes on the side.

One of the touted sides is onion strings ($3.95). As the name indicates, the onions are sliced very thin. Unfortunately, this makes it easy for the salty, seasoned batter and the deep-frying oil to overwhelm any onion flavor. It tastes as if you’re eating salt and fat.

The beverage menu lists no prices for the vast number of mixed drinks but does make it clear that many are topped with a hunk of citrus or other fruit that’s decorated with miniature sunglasses.

If fat and salt are the themes for the first part of the meal, sugar is for the desserts, such as key lime pie so sweet that you’ll be afraid of provoking instant diabetes.


Jon Christensen is Dispatch restaurant reviewer.


noreservations@dispatch.com

[jaytrader]

That was like reading a review of T.G.I. Fridays - you just don't see that very often. I thought this was going to be a review by a PH though.

I've never been to one, does it invoke the ph culture at all?

[PHat Matt]

REVIEW BY MATT

Cheeseburger in Paradise is the perfect quick get-away phor the Parrothead who wants to get out of the snowfall were getting now, and slip into a warm climate where the food is tropical, the resturant feels like your in a small island bar, and the steel drum or island/rock music is always playing.

Stop by and try some of the decent(not great) wings sporting many tropical flavors such as jerk, or lime. Or perhaps try the thinly sliced onjion rings that are great little appitizers that come in bulk and work perfectly with the sause. Or even a mini-cheeseburger, which resembles a high class white castle.

Then for the main course you may enjoy foods like a huge, mouth watering burger topped with cheese, onjion to taste, tomato, and ketchup and musterd can be added to taste. Also, enjoy a huge juicy dill pickle on the side, with a heap of thin, seasoned crispy fries that are delectable!! Or if your not into the cheeseburger thing, try an El Cubano sandwhich, a great sandwhich on a cuban loaf that will fill you up, along with a mountain of sweet potato chips which are incredible!

After that, go ahead and try the BEST Key Lime Pie you will find anywhere in the world. It is perfectly set, and has a great limey taste, somthing you find all too seldom in Key Lime Pies today. All of that on top of a great gram cracker crust that is thin on the bottom to bring out the tatse of the pie, but thick on the ends to show off its own great taste.

While at CiP take in the scenery of the islands, and the feeling of being somewhere tropical that the staff works very hard to create. Sit back, enjoy your little hour long vacation, and eat some good food while your at it!!

[lilcherub]

I went there when I was Christmas shopping the Sunday before Christmas and they were closed for lunch It was 12:00 noon and they didn't open til 4:00pm. There were about 8 other people there trying to get in also. Ended up across the street at Hoggy's, which BTW was awesome as always.

[DeactiveCarib]

so how does CiP compare to places like Bahama Breeze or even Margaritaville? do they sell Buffett merchandise at CiP? Is it worth driving 2.5 hours to go to?

[DeactiveCarib]

Jon Christensen is Dispatch restaurant reviewer.


noreservations@dispatch.com

I'm guessing Jon Christensen isn't a Parrot Head that likes deep fried foods

[big hat carmen]

so how does CiP compare to places like Bahama Breeze or even Margaritaville? do they sell Buffett merchandise at CiP? Is it worth driving 2.5 hours to go to?

No, they sell CiP merchandise. I wouldn't drive that far, but I would stop if I was nearby.

[peckfins66]

I drove 2 hours to go there on New Year's Day, planning on seeing Fingers Taylor. Taylor didn't show, but the other entertainer (K.D. Moore Jr.) did. I thought the food was pretty good but I love food in general so that's nothing out of the ordinary. I got the Jerk Chicken Wrap and it was excellent. Of course the Margaritas are great also and they even throw in a free shot of tequila on the side. It was a fun time, I'll probably head back there somewhere down the road.

[MargaritaMatt]

The Island Ale beer is to die for. The get is specially brewed for them by a brewer in Wis. I believe. But it kills, I love it.

[a1aara]

I think you have to take it for what it is.....One guys opinion. I plan to try it. I tried once and there was over an hour wait to get in. I know they are building 2 more in the Columbus area.

[ExPO9600]

First off, I wouldn't take anything that anyone from the Dispatch has to say seriously. Unless they are reviewing one of the trendy nouveau cuisine restaurants they are typically not too objective.

I went last Sunday and I only had to wait 10 minutes. As stated previously, the margaritas are great and there is a wide selection for those who don't go with the original. The service was friendly and quick, plus, the waitress is not hovering over you the entire time which can be annoying.

We got the N'awlins shrimp and the onion straws for appetizers and both were great. I am not sure what this clown from the Dispatch was talking about when he was there but he totally missed the mark. I ended up with the Cheeseburger in Paradise for dinner and the other person in my party went with the crab cakes. She loved them and I have to say the burger was good, not the all time best but certainly not the bland creation that the Dispatch claimed it to be. We didn't get desert as we were too full but from what we had seen they looked good.

Bottom line, I would go back. If nothing else, it provides a good excuse for a road trip and there will definitely be something on the menu that will appeal to you.

[cartmill72]

I posted a review on my site some time back if anyone is interested.

http://homepage.mac.com/scartmill/iblog ... index.html

[DeactiveCarib]

so how does this place compare to the newer M'villes?

[creeky]

ouch!