deadbeat dads $uc& UPDATE

PHAW Webmistress · Post by **PHAW Webmistress** » February 3, 2005 9:47 am

Yes Connie there are deadbeat mom's out there..................there's nothing worse than seeing two boys sitting on the front stoop waiting for their "mother" to pick them up for her weekend visit until 11 at night because she has forgotten them yet again. Our boys both had issues to deal with because their "mother" abandoned them. And through it all, we never once badmouthed her (in their presence)..........they are adults now and have come to their own conclusions based on her actions. They've had no contact with her for years. Unfortunately their grandmother believes it's all my fault now

Whatever..... Besides her loss - I definitely got the better end of the deal - not only did I get to become a mother without the stretchmarks - but I have the privilege and honor to be a Nana too!!!!

Toni - I hope it goes well for you today - one word - GARNISHMENT. The only GUARANTEED way for him to pay his obligation to your daughter!!!

CUparrot · Post by **CUparrot** » February 3, 2005 9:58 am

I'm so sorry to hear about the trouble you're having. Much PHIN POWER to you!!! I hope you get what he owes you and your daughter.

(((LJ)))

buffettbride · Post by **buffettbride** » February 3, 2005 10:49 am

SMLCHNG wrote:
lovin_jimmy wrote:thanks guys. i'd be happy if he would just sign over his rights and let my hubby adopt her. he hasnt even seen her in 5 years!
Maybe you should ask Buffettbride about that one. Good luck, LJ!!

Penny is EXACTLY right! I knew in the long run that Victoria and I would find an awesome daddy for her, and we did. And you did too Toni! Your daughter knows her her dad is, and it's your husband, not the dude who slathered his genetic material all over you.

You're in Texas, right? There should be a procedure for the county you live in for step-parent adoption. It cost us about $300 give or take for the process. We had to fill out and notarize a gazillion pages and go through what was called "diligent" efforts to locate the biological father. Sometimes you can get him to willingly relinquish any rights to the child. You'll also probably have to publish a legal notice that says the adoption is going to take place to give him an opportunity to speak up in court if he still wants to be in her life. He probaby won't show up to that either.

If all that comes together, then the judge or magistrate will most likely grant the step-parent adoption. We were asked a series of questions regarding if we were able to support her financially along with her brother, what our home life was like, where she went to school, if she was happy etc. etc. etc. By granting the adoption, it will go as far as changing her birth certificate to show your husband as her father. It basically erases your ex from history. But, it also gets him off the hook from any financial responsibility (which obviously he's not going to help with anyway).

I am all-for step-parent adoption!! My case was a little bit easier because I don't exactly know who Victoria's "sperm donor" was. It sucked at the time when she was born, and I was alone and didn't have much money, but in the grand scheme of things, we all ended up soooooo much happier.

If you ever want to talk, just let me know!

ragtopW · Post by **ragtopW** » February 3, 2005 1:46 pm

uncle Wayne option still open..

IsleReef · Post by **IsleReef** » February 3, 2005 2:09 pm

(((((Toni))))) We are all here for you...........

springparrot · Post by **springparrot** » February 3, 2005 4:43 pm

LJ--Thinking about you today.....

BoozeInTheBlender · Post by **BoozeInTheBlender** » February 3, 2005 4:49 pm

ragtopW wrote:uncle Wayne option still open..

Hey Wayne, I bet you have a "special" way of reasoning with people, don't you?

buffettbride · Post by **buffettbride** » February 3, 2005 4:51 pm

BoozeInTheBlender wrote:
ragtopW wrote:uncle Wayne option still open..
Hey Wayne, I bet you have a "special" way of reasoning with people, don't you?

And I don't think it involves dressing up like Santa.

BoozeInTheBlender · Post by **BoozeInTheBlender** » February 3, 2005 4:53 pm

buffettbride wrote:
BoozeInTheBlender wrote:
ragtopW wrote:uncle Wayne option still open..
Hey Wayne, I bet you have a "special" way of reasoning with people, don't you?
And I don't think it involves dressing up like Santa.

Wayne has some "colorful" ways to make people more "agreeable" the situation.

Mplsfins · Post by **Mplsfins** » February 3, 2005 5:04 pm

Good luck to you but remember it took 2 people to create that child. Please do not take offense to that statement. It takes 2 to tango and one to mess up. The bad thing is it is the child that suffers. The number one cause of divorce is marriage.

lovin_jimmy · Post by **lovin_jimmy** » February 3, 2005 5:56 pm

*UPDATE*
well i wasted 2 hours this morning. he was never served, so he didnt show. i get to do this all again in 2 mos. just to give you guys an idea what a loser he is.....he has another ex in another state who is in the process of turning him in too!

thankyou all for the nice thoughts.

buffettbride · Post by **buffettbride** » February 3, 2005 5:57 pm

THAT TOTALLY BLOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keep us updated and let me know if there's anything I can do!

lovin_jimmy · Post by **lovin_jimmy** » February 3, 2005 6:01 pm

bubba phan wrote: I hope your daughter has someone in her life who can fill that void that is left by your ex.

she does, i have been remarried for 3 years now. my husband is her"daddy", just not on paper yet

lovin_jimmy · Post by **lovin_jimmy** » February 3, 2005 6:02 pm

buffettbride wrote:THAT TOTALLY BLOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keep us updated and let me know if there's anything I can do!

thanks mal, i have tons of questions!

buffettbride · Post by **buffettbride** » February 3, 2005 6:03 pm

lovin_jimmy wrote:
buffettbride wrote:THAT TOTALLY BLOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keep us updated and let me know if there's anything I can do!
thanks mal, i have tons of questions!

It's not hard, just time consuming!!! I'll help you as much as I can!

lovin_jimmy · Post by **lovin_jimmy** » February 3, 2005 6:12 pm

buffettita wrote:My Ex's child support comes directly out of his check every week. That is the only reason that I actually get money. I would like to ask him to sign over his rights so that my husband could adopt...but I'm not sure how he would take it. He gives the excuse that he's "so busy". F*** that. He doesn't know busy. Full time job, mother, wife, and part time student,shuffling two kids to parties and practice and games, school events.....and so on....and he is to busy to pick up a phone once in a while..

it sounds like we have alot in common. im in tx. he's in ok., he hasnt seen hayley in 5 years!, when i do get any $$ it is only b/c they take it out of his check. we want my hubby to adopt too, but like you said.... he'd say no just because he is a punk a$$

phjrsaunt · Post by **phjrsaunt** » February 3, 2005 6:14 pm

Success story, of sorts: when my sister divorced her first husband (the father of her children) she was granted primary custody. As the children grew up (they were 4 and 6 at the time of the divorce), my sister had to go to court MULTIPLE times and fight TOOTH and NAIL to get what the court granted her as far as child support. Not alimony, mind you. CHILD SUPPORT. Although her ex had (still does) a fairly high profile executive job w/ a large company, he tended to be a jerk about not paying his child support. At every turn, she had to FIGHT him to get what the judge ORDERED him to pay. It has cost her dearly in terms of stress, but the children have always received what their father was ORDERED BY MULTIPLE JUDGES to give them. It was never easy...but she NEVER gave an INCH, and her children got what they deserved.

One word of advise: DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.
Good luck to you tomorrow!!

lovin_jimmy · Post by **lovin_jimmy** » February 3, 2005 6:17 pm

PHAW Webmistress wrote:
one word - GARNISHMENT. The only GUARANTEED way for him to pay his obligation to your daughter!!!

this is true, but it only works if he is working, not getting paid under the table, if he tells his employer/ gives them the necessary paperwork

ragtopW · Post by **ragtopW** » February 3, 2005 8:40 pm

BoozeInTheBlender wrote:
buffettbride wrote:
BoozeInTheBlender wrote:
ragtopW wrote:uncle Wayne option still open..
Hey Wayne, I bet you have a "special" way of reasoning with people, don't you?
And I don't think it involves dressing up like Santa.
Wayne has some "colorful" ways to make people more "agreeable" the situation.

Kinda funny.. when I have a "talk" with most people
all they have to say is owowoowowo please stop
ow owo owo owo ow

lovin_jimmy · Post by **lovin_jimmy** » February 3, 2005 10:52 pm

i just talked to his other ex-wife, she met w/ her lawyer today. he is going to get served (not serviced) from both of us at the same time!! HA! take that you punk a$$ mother !@#$%^