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I'm usually pretty easy going. But I have two sons who are 17yo srs. They'll both be going to prom this year. I know what they're going to want to do after prom. I"m trying to decide on a response before the begging begins.
I can't play dumb. If they want to go get some hotel rooms with a bunch of friends I can't be like, sure kids have a good time, don't stay up too late. Still not sure whether I"ll let them or not.

OceanCityGirl wrote:I'm usually pretty easy going. But I have two sons who are 17yo srs. They'll both be going to prom this year. I know what they're going to want to do after prom. I"m trying to decide on a response before the begging begins.
I can't play dumb. If they want to go get some hotel rooms with a bunch of friends I can't be like, sure kids have a good time, don't stay up too late. Still not sure whether I"ll let them or not.

I guess you have to ask the question. "Did being told not to do something always work for me?"

Face it - they are gonna do it anyway. Help them be smart and safe about it.

I agree. I woulda done it whether my mommy or daddy said I could. Help them keep it safe.

Face it - they are gonna do it anyway. Help them be smart and safe about it

That's the likely response. It's been the way i've handled things so far. It's tough on them. They're alot younger then all the other seniors. So it makes me a bit more reluctant, but you only have one sr. prom in your life. I figure it must have been easier being a parent if you were a good kid in high school and didn't know enough to know what your kids were going to do.

If that doesn't work beat the hell out of them first.

PHBeerman wrote:If that doesn't work beat the hell out of them first.

But strangely I see the logic in that.

I dont agree with this at all but I want to warn you with a story about a similiar situation that happened in either Mass or RI. This kids parents through an after prom party, they took everyones keys and made them sleep over but allowed them to drink at their house. I cant remember if they provided alcohol or not but I know they got arrested for it. My friends parents always did something like that for us and I thought it was a great idea. Its a tough call I think.

mexcooker12 wrote:I dont agree with this at all but I want to warn you with a story about a similiar situation that happened in either Mass or RI. This kids parents through an after prom party, they took everyones keys and made them sleep over but allowed them to drink at their house. I cant remember if they provided alcohol or not but I know they got arrested for it. My friends parents always did something like that for us and I thought it was a great idea. Its a tough call I think.

I think that's always a risk...and it is a tough call. Because I don't have a teenager yet, it's hard for me to wear the parent shoes on this.

But, I do know how I was as a teenager, and my mom would have definitely called this a "NO" for me. However, God's honest truth I would have done it anyway. How I'm still alive today I don't know. But I was baaaaaaad. I think if my mom had agreed to loosen the reigns a little, I wouldn't have tried to break the rules so much.

buffettbride wrote:

mexcooker12 wrote:I dont agree with this at all but I want to warn you with a story about a similiar situation that happened in either Mass or RI. This kids parents through an after prom party, they took everyones keys and made them sleep over but allowed them to drink at their house. I cant remember if they provided alcohol or not but I know they got arrested for it. My friends parents always did something like that for us and I thought it was a great idea. Its a tough call I think.

I think that's always a risk...and it is a tough call. Because I don't have a teenager yet, it's hard for me to wear the parent shoes on this.

But, I do know how I was as a teenager, and my mom would have definitely called this a "NO" for me. However, God's honest truth I would have done it anyway. How I'm still alive today I don't know. But I was baaaaaaad. I think if my mom had agreed to loosen the reigns a little, I wouldn't have tried to break the rules so much.

Bingo. My folks were very strict. But I managed to get into as much if not more trouble than my friends. The best thing is establish trust and educate them.



Are they boys are girls? What is their social status?

rednekkPH wrote:Face it - they are gonna do it anyway. Help them be smart and safe about it.

best response.

I remember what I did after prom .. [ nothing too evil ] but then again times are different now. The authoritees are less likely to 'let kids be kids' as they did with me ...

Good luck, and if you have instilled good judgement on your youngins they will do just fine.

I don't know yet my son's only eight days old and doesn't listen to me yet.

OceanCityGirl wrote:I'm usually pretty easy going. But I have two sons who are 17yo srs. They'll both be going to prom this year. I know what they're going to want to do after prom. I"m trying to decide on a response before the begging begins.
I can't play dumb. If they want to go get some hotel rooms with a bunch of friends I can't be like, sure kids have a good time, don't stay up too late. Still not sure whether I"ll let them or not.

I'm in the same boat.... 17 y/o senior... prom.... we're still discussing options.... my rule has always been no adult supervision, no overnight. I think the school may throw a supervised all-night party afterwards. I'll be volunteering to chaperone if they do. I want the kids to have fun. I don't expect them to go home at 11:00 and go to bed. But I don't want them out in a car (because even if they haven't been drinking, plenty of people will have been)... I don't want them to screw up their lives by racking up an arrest for underage drinking. I can't/won't serve minors at my house... It may be that they come over to my house and play video games and watch movies all night. That'll work. But unsupervised is just asking for trouble.

PirateJeff wrote:I don't know yet my son's only eight days old and doesn't listen to me yet.

someone told me the Terrible Twos were just a warm up for the teenage years. I thought they were nuts.... They were RIGHT.

PirateJeff wrote:I don't know yet my son's only eight days old and doesn't listen to me yet.

Congrats. Kids are the best.

SchoolGirlHeart wrote:

OceanCityGirl wrote:I'm usually pretty easy going. But I have two sons who are 17yo srs. They'll both be going to prom this year. I know what they're going to want to do after prom. I"m trying to decide on a response before the begging begins.
I can't play dumb. If they want to go get some hotel rooms with a bunch of friends I can't be like, sure kids have a good time, don't stay up too late. Still not sure whether I"ll let them or not.

I'm in the same boat.... 17 y/o senior... prom.... we're still discussing options.... my rule has always been no adult supervision, no overnight. I think the school may throw a supervised all-night party afterwards. I'll be volunteering to chaperone if they do. I want the kids to have fun. I don't expect them to go home at 11:00 and go to bed. But I don't want them out in a car (because even if they haven't been drinking, plenty of people will have been)... I don't want them to screw up their lives by racking up an arrest for underage drinking. I can't/won't serve minors at my house... It may be that they come over to my house and play video games and watch movies all night. That'll work. But unsupervised is just asking for trouble.

The problem is, sooner or later they will be unsupervised.

pull up a chair.

[troy story]
Once upon a time in a land we call Idaho. A fine young lad named Jack (Names changed to protect the innocent) grew up in a very strict household. However, even in this household, Tr.....er Jack was able to find his way out and into trouble.
Time went on and Jack graduated from high-school and went on to college. Jack was blessed to play football at said college. However, due to Jack's lifelong protection vs education of the ways of the world, Jack enjoyed his new found freedom a little too much. Jack's life was as follows. Up early to weight room. Breakfast. Study , class (actually back to bed), Practice, dinner, time to party.
Before long, Jack was not eligible to play football any longer.
Jack left school and started his life.
[/end story]

In other words. Trust them, teach them right from wrong, or they will go wild later.

Warning--This is just my opinion.

I don't think Jen is being strict, she is using common sense.
I think there is a huge difference.

I can't believe I'm with Troy on this I'd also like to share a little story

[mallory story]
Once upon a time in a land we call Colorado. A fine young lass named Jill(Names changed to protect the innocent) grew up in a very strict household. However, even in this household, Ma.....er Jill was able to find her way out and into trouble.

Time went on and Jill graduated from high-school, but since Jill had a lot of siblings...there wasn't enough $$ to pay for college, even though Jill had a partial scholarship and really rockin' smarts. Jill ventured out into life herself, trying a multitude of professions ranging from waitress, to *dancer*, and finally enrolled in college. However, due to Jill's lifelong protection vs education of the ways of the world (ESPECIALLY SEX, DRUGS, AND ALCOHOL), Jill found it very hard to balance a job, college, partying, boys. Jill dropped out of college, got knocked up, but eventually got her life back in order.

Jill's personal opinion is that a greater respect and understanding of true life-skills would have been just as valuable as having good grades and being a goody goody drilled into her most of her life.

Although Jill accepts full responsibilities for her actions and appreciates her past as something that helped mold her into the strong, convicted person she is now...she sure as heck wishes some of these lessens didn't need to be so damn hard!
[/mallory story]

Jill is a nice gal.

I think it all boils down to what type of relationship you have had with your boys up to this point... have you talked openly with them about drugs and alcohol abuse, do you feel that you can trust them to make responsible decisions, and so forth. If you let them stay over, I would definitely make sure they know that they can call you to come and get them no matter the time or the situation, without a lecture or punishment. My reasoning behind this is that I would rather have them safe with me rather than in a terrible situation somewhere because they're afraid of getting into trouble. My son is only four but I'm already preparing for what's to come. I'm afraid his pressures are going to be even tougher than what they are today! Good luck. I'm sure you'll do the right thing.

OK Old fashioned lady with no kids chiming in here.

I think letting kids stay in a hotel room with no adult supervision is just asking for trouble.

If one of the parents (like Jen) invites them to spend the night over and will supervise, I think that would be a fine solution. And alcohol doesn't need to be involved for the kids to have fun....