Sexual frustration

Ilph · Post by **Ilph** » March 24, 2005 8:11 pm

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?" I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either

land_shark3 · Post by **land_shark3** » March 24, 2005 8:18 pm

phjrsaunt · Post by **phjrsaunt** » March 24, 2005 8:48 pm

Ilph · Post by **Ilph** » March 24, 2005 9:09 pm

land_shark3 wrote:

Glad you enjoyed it.

land_shark3 · Post by **land_shark3** » March 24, 2005 9:42 pm

Ilph wrote:
land_shark3 wrote:
Glad you enjoyed it.

I can relate.

unclejohn · Post by **unclejohn** » March 25, 2005 5:39 pm

ragtopW · Post by **ragtopW** » March 27, 2005 7:09 pm

How does that couch sleep???

Sidew13 · Post by **Sidew13** » March 27, 2005 7:11 pm

ragtopW wrote: How does that couch sleep???

Trust me, a couch gets comfy after a while

CaptainP · Post by **CaptainP** » March 27, 2005 7:15 pm

BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RinglingRingling · Post by **RinglingRingling** » March 27, 2005 7:46 pm

Sidew13 wrote:
ragtopW wrote: How does that couch sleep???
Trust me, a couch gets comfy after a while

It's like camping out, without the need for mosquito spray.

DonnaKayDunbar · Post by **DonnaKayDunbar** » March 27, 2005 11:01 pm

evil. genius.

Jason Mason · Post by **Jason Mason** » March 28, 2005 4:18 pm