My new living Will

[PHBeerman]

I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind
and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.


Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood
politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives
depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a
cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.
When
such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children
and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it
a day.

Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a
special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that
these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead
To the two tasks that our forefathers entrusted them with; the
protection of the citizenry, and regulation of interstate and foreign trade.
If they get really bored, I think they should instead concentrate on the
well-being of the millions of Americans who
aren't in a permanent coma.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I
don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge for
their run for the presidency in 2008, it is my wish that they play
politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace.

I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to
legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these
people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade on
my behalf. They should mind their own business too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a
political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make
his or her existence a living hell.

_______________________________________
Signature

__________________________________
Witness

[buffettbride]

Big *smoooochies* for Troy!

[ToplessRideFL]

EXCELLENT!

[ph4ever]

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LIPH]

I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind
and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.


Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood
politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives
depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a
cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.
When
such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children
and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it
a day.

Define "reasonable".

[PHBeerman]

I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind
and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.


Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood
politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives
depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a
cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.
When
such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children
and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it
a day.

Define "reasonable".

Should I say "If the sun sets on my ass and I don't sit up and ask for a cold beer"?

[AlbatrossFlyer]

I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind
and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.


Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood
politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives
depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a
cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.
When
such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children
and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it
a day.

Define "reasonable".

the time it takes for my family to consume 1 keg of beer

[Elrod]

Define "reasonable".

the time it takes for my family to consume 1 keg of beer

My family never would get finished without me.

[AlbatrossFlyer]

Define "reasonable".

the time it takes for my family to consume 1 keg of beer

My family never would get finished without me.

okay i'll speed things up for you.....

in the time it takes for queenie to drink one case of wine

[Elrod]

okay i'll speed things up for you.....

in the time it takes for queenie to drink one case of wine

That sounds reasonable enough.

[a1aara]

Funny and true!!!!!!

[balcony girls]

do we, as your phriends, have the right to " call it " a little early so we can start the celebration . . ? ? ?



you know, of course. . .all the drankin' will be done with a heavy heart . .

r.i.p. . . .now will someone please pop that keg . .

[CaptainP]

I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind
and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.


Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood
politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives
depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a
cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.
When
such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children
and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it
a day.

Define "reasonable".

Leave it to the lawyer...

[PHBeerman]

do we, as your phriends, have the right to " call it " a little early so we can start the celebration . . ? ? ?



you know, of course. . .all the drankin' will be done with a heavy heart . .

r.i.p. . . .now will someone please pop that keg . .

Indeed. My instructions are pretty easy

Do not leave me on Life support for an extended period of time
I will not take up real estate after my passing. (Burn me)
There will not be a funeral. A traditional Irish wake will substitute.

[Lightning Bolt]

Indeed. My instructions are pretty easy

Do not leave me on Life support for an extended period of time

Be careful with this one, now
There's some people that think this means no less than 15 YEARS!!

[balcony girls]

do we, as your phriends, have the right to " call it " a little early so we can start the celebration . . ? ? ?



you know, of course. . .all the drankin' will be done with a heavy heart . .

r.i.p. . . .now will someone please pop that keg . .

Indeed. My instructions are pretty easy

Do not leave me on Life support for an extended period of time
I will not take up real estate after my passing. (Burn me)
There will not be a funeral. A traditional Irish wake will substitute.

how you feelin' right now, PHB . . .

I'm gettin' a little thirsty . . .

[tikitatas]

Troy, you crack me UP!!!!!

[RhumChum]

I always knew way way way down deep inside of you weren't really one of them ....

[PHBeerman]

I always knew way way way down deep inside of you weren't really one of them ....

A Scot??? No way in hell.

[lorilovv]

I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind
and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.


Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood
politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives
depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a
cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.
When
such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children
and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it
a day.

Define "reasonable".

Should I say "If the sun sets on my ass and I don't sit up and ask for a cold beer"?

Laughing SO hard......