20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity

[citcat]

• 1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
  2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
  3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
  4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
  5. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
  6. In the memo field of all your checks, write in "For sexual favors".
  7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the Prophecy."
  8. Don't use any punctuation.
  9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
  10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
  11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go".
  12. Sing along at the opera.
  13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
  14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
  15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
  16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard".
  17. When the money comes out of the ATM scream, "I WON, I WON!!!"
  18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're LOOSE!!"
  19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go."
  20. Be a Parrothead.

[LIPH]

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write in "For sexual favors".

I put that on all my deposit slips.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard".

What makes you think the wimmins in the office don't already do that?

[buffettbride]

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard".

What makes you think the wimmins in the office don't already do that?

'cause you're old and can't get it up.

[DonnaKayDunbar]

nice.

[comemonday]

11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go".

Sadly, at our Dairy Queen you actually have to do that! I can see if one person drove through for an ice cream cone, but I've ordered sundaes/ blizzards for a bunch of people, pulled up to the window MYSELF and they just started handing them out to me w/out lids or anything! After it happened a second time (I end up calling everyone I know to see if they want something from the Dairy Queen, for some reason), I always say TO GO PLEASE.

[LIPH]

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard".

What makes you think the wimmins in the office don't already do that?

'cause you're old and can't get it up.

I would have responded sooner but I had to push my seat back from desk and my arms weren't long enough to reach the keyboard.

[buffettbride]

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard".

What makes you think the wimmins in the office don't already do that?

'cause you're old and can't get it up.

I would have responded sooner but I had to push my seat back from desk and my arms weren't long enough to reach the keyboard.

'sup Larry?

[citcat]

He's thinking about Heather.

[LIPH]

He's thinking about Heather.

I'm thinking about being in Hawaii 12 days from now.

[balcony girls]

He's thinking about Heather.

either that, or he just has alligator arms. . .

but you know what they say about men with short arms. . .

? ? ?

[LIPH]

He's thinking about Heather.

either that, or he just has alligator arms. . .

but you know what they say about men with short arms. . .

? ? ?

We can't reach our wallets

[balcony girls]

He's thinking about Heather.

either that, or he just has alligator arms. . .

but you know what they say about men with short arms. . .

? ? ?

We can't reach our wallets

that, and there's a good chance you'll never go blind. . .re: that thing your mom said about touching your. . .oh, nevermind. . .

[citcat]

[valeriefriend]

Very funny!

[Ilph]

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write in "For sexual favors".

I put that on all my deposit slips.

One of my friends puts "booze and hookers" on every check he writes me. The old ladies at the bank loooove that one.

[Quint]

He's thinking about Heather.

either that, or he just has alligator arms. . .

but you know what they say about men with short arms. . .

? ? ?

We don't drag our knuckles on the ground?

[ragtopW]

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write in "For sexual favors".

I put that on all my deposit slips.

One of my friends puts "booze and hookers" on every check he writes me. The old ladies at the bank loooove that one.

[prrthd1987]

LMAO!!!

[pamesoo]

LMAO!!!

me too!!!!