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Harold...

Posted: April 5, 2005 11:00 am
by DonnaKayDunbar
Harold is 92 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit, smoke a cigar, listen to music, ponder his accomplishments and reflect on his long life. One evening, Mildred, age 86, wanders into the garden.

They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?" She asks, "What?"

"SEX!!" he replies.

Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"

"I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for awhile."

"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.

Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's penis.

Then, one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was OK.

She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Harold's manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! - What does Ethel have that I don't have?"

Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's!"

Posted: April 5, 2005 11:17 am
by land_shark3
:roll: While I want to be disappointed that you would post such a thing, I can't get off the floor from laughing. :lol:

Posted: April 5, 2005 11:23 am
by Lightning Bolt
HI-LARIOUS!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Posted: April 5, 2005 11:37 am
by rednekkPH
This is one of the best I have heard in years!

Posted: April 5, 2005 7:09 pm
by unclejohn
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Posted: April 5, 2005 9:08 pm
by SMLCHNG
:o :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Posted: April 5, 2005 11:20 pm
by ragtopW
sick just sick I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: April 6, 2005 12:07 am
by DonnaKayDunbar
land_shark3 wrote::roll: While I want to be disappointed that you would post such a thing, I can't get off the floor from laughing. :lol:
It's hard to be mad when it's friggin' funny... ;)

Posted: April 6, 2005 12:08 am
by DonnaKayDunbar
ragtopW wrote:sick just sick I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And that's why we get along.... :lol:

Posted: April 6, 2005 2:19 am
by Dally
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Good one!!!!!

Posted: April 8, 2005 4:43 pm
by BelairPH
That is the best joke I've heard in years. :D

Posted: April 10, 2005 9:46 am
by Jason Mason
:o Thats really horrible!

Posted: April 10, 2005 9:51 am
by Prthd119
ragtopW wrote:sick just sick I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yep...he's right... :lol:

Posted: April 10, 2005 11:50 pm
by SweetMelissa
ragtopW wrote:sick just sick I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh yeah.... he said it all right there! Good stuff DKD

Posted: April 14, 2005 7:49 am
by Ilph
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Posted: April 19, 2005 10:39 pm
by tdparrothead
So bad... but so funny. :lol: :lol: :lol: