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Posted By phinns
Two dogs are sitting in cages in the Vet's office:
Dog 1 - Hey Bud, what are you here for?
Dog 2 - My master is having me put to sleep.
Dog 1 - That's terrible! What happened?
Dog 2 - I was riding in my master's new BMW when she went around a corner too fast, I got scared and p*** and pooped in her car!
Dog 1 - Man, that's really a shame.
Dog 2 - What are you here for?
Dog 1 - I was sleeping on the floor when my master decided to take a shower. I watched her shower and dry herself off. I just couldn't take it anymore. I ran to her and started to hump her!
Dog 2 - She's putting you to sleep for that?
Dog 1 - No, I'm here to get my nails trimmed!!

Posted By Lola
LMAO, I have a dog nicknamed the "Pillow Lover", but behind her back the name is less forgiving

Posted By Dude
A guy was walking his dog by a river when the dog fell in. The guy got the dog out of the water and thuoght it ws dead but wanted a second oppinion so he took the dog to the vet. When the vet saw the dog he said "yep, it's dead. $50 please". $50 the guye said for that kind of money I want more. So the vet said ok leaver\ the dog here and come back in the morning. During the night the vet brought in his dog to look the situation over the dog said " It's Dead". Then the vet bruoght in his cat to look it over the cat said " It's dead"
The next mourning when the guy came back the vet said it's definetelly dead $5000 please. Tyhe guy said $5000 WHAT DID YOU DO. Well said the vet first I had to do Lab work than I did a cat scan.