BuffettNews.com

What are some of you all's favorite quotes from movies?

Post 'em!

"That's not a knife... THAT'S a knife!!"

"We're gonna need a bigger boat"

"You're gonna do WHAT??"

"What hump?" (Young Frankenstein, not Shane)

More when I'm sober.

Oh God!!!! I love this. I'm a movie junkie. My friends and I quote movies ALL DAY at work. There are way too may to mention so I'll just do a few:

JAWS:
"Fellows, let's be reasonable, huh? This is not the time or the place to perform some kind of a half-assed autopsy on a fish... And I'm not going to stand here and see that thing cut open and see that little Kintner boy spill out all over the dock!"
"The thing about a shark, it's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When it comes at you it doesn't seem to be livin'... until he bites you, and those black eyes roll over white."

AMERICAN PSYCHO:
"Sabrina, don't just stare at it. Eat it."
"My need to engage in homicidal behavior on a massive scale cannot be corrected, but, ah, I have no other way to fulfil my needs."

THE GODFATHER:
"It's a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes."
"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."

TOP GUN:
"I feel the need......the need for speed!"
"Maverick: She's lost that loving feeling.
Goose: No, no she hasn't.
Maverick: Oh, yes she has.
Goose: I hate it when she does that."

FERRIS BUHLER'S DAY OFF:
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it."

HALLOWEEN:
"It's Halloween, everyone's entitled to one scare."
"I met him, fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding; even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six-year-old child, with this blind, pale, emotionless face and, the blackest eyes... the DEVIL'S eyes! I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up for I realized what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply... EVIL!"

I'll stop for now. More tomorrow.

"The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... very well, where do i begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it."

Dr Evil

I'm not crazy, I've just been a very bad mood for the last 40 years!
Ouiser Boudreaux in Steel Magnolias

Sometimes you have to be a high-riding b**** to survive. Sometimes being a b**** is all a woman has to hold onto
Dolores Claiborne

You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.
Napoleon Dynamite

"Nobody puts Baby in the corner" Dirty Dancing

"Everyone comes to Hollywood gotta dream, what's ya'll dream" Pretty Woman

"Leaping Lizards, Charlie!" Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

"All Men are Bast*rds" French Kiss

"Hey, don't knock drunks in bars! It means they're not out driving." Runaway Bride

"Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace. What, dear? Grace! Grace? She passed away thirty years ago. They want you to say Grace. The BLESSING! I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands/ One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." Christmas Vacation

Harry Hogge: Alright. While we're still under a caution, I want you to go back out on that track and hit the pace car.
Cole Trickle: Hit the pace car?
Harry Hogge: Hit the pace car!
Cole Trickle: What for?
Harry Hogge: Because you've hit every other goddamned thing out there, I want you to be perfect!
Days of Thunder


Howard Johnson: As the chairman of the Welcoming Committee, it is my privilege to extend a laurel, and hearty handshake to our new . . . nigger.
Blazing Saddles


Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
Maj. a**hole: I did, sir. He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Col. Sandurz: He's an A**hole, sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that. What's his name?
Col. Sandurz: That is his name, sir. A**hole, Major A**hole.
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Col. Sandurz: He's an A**hole too, sir. Gunner's Mate, First Class, Philip A**hole.
Dark Helmet: How many A**holes we got on this ship, any how?
Everyone: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by A**holes. Keep firing, A**holes!
Spaceballs

"Maaan.....you are one pathetic loser!!!"

-Lloyd Christmas

Pick any quote from Doc in Tombstone

"Now I know you've all heard of the Humunga, Cowabunga, from Down Unda"

"What the hell is a kahuna anyway? Is it because I have a Big One?"

Now that's a great movie

HAPPY GILMORE:
"You s***, Jack***!"
"You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-h*** up!"
"Just tap it in, tap it in, just give it a little tappy, tap-tap-tap-aroo"
"Why don't you just go home? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your home? ANSWER ME!"

BILLY MADISON:
"O'Doyle rules!"

BRUCE ALMIGHTY:
"B-e-a-utiful!"

I 've been thinking a lot about this Mr. Hand. If I'm here, and
you're here, doesn't that make this our time? Certainly there's nothing wrong with a little feast on our time is there?

Jeff Spicoli

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

Carl Spackler

From one of my favorites: AMERICAN BEAUTY

Brad Dupree: [reading Lester's job description] "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell."

Well, you have absolutely no interest in saving yourself.


Lester Burnham: Brad, for 14 years I've been a whore for the advertising industry. The only way I could save myself now is if I start firebombing.

But, I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to f*ckin' amuse you?. How the f*ck am I funny? What the f*ck is so funny about me?
-Goodfellas



Of all the gin joints, in all the towns,. in all the world....she walks into mine
-Casablanca

Buzzards have to eat, same as worms
-Josie Wales

"I'm not a superhero... I'm a latter day saint"
-Orgazmo

Peter Gibbons: "What would you do if you had a million dollars?"
Lawrence:" I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man."
Peter Gibbons: "That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?"
Lawrence: "Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money."

-Office Space

" I uh, I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore. "

-Office Space (Peter)

"So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life."

-Office Space (Peter)

"Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler... "

-Office Space (Milton)

Memorable Quotes from
O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)
George Nelson: Cows! I hate cows worse than coppers!
[fires his Tommy gun at them]
Delmar O'Donnell: Oh, George... not the livestock.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: You ever been with a woman?
Delmar O'Donnell: I gotta get the family farm back before I start worrying about that.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pete: The Preacher said it absolved us.
Ulysses Everett McGill: For him, not for the law. I'm surprised at you, Pete, I gave you credit for more brains than Delmar.
Delmar O'Donnell: But they was witnesses that seen us redeemed.
Ulysses Everett McGill: That's not the issue Delmar. Even if that did put you square with the Lord, the State of Mississippi's a little more hard-nosed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Repeated line]
Ulysses Everett McGill: Damn! We're in a tight spot!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: Me an' the old lady are gonna pick up the pieces and retie the knot, mixaphorically speaking.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: I'll tell you what I am - I'm the damn paterfamilias! You can't marry him!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pete: Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit?
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well Pete, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain't the consensus view, then hell, let's put it to a vote.
Pete: Suits me. I'm voting for yours truly.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well I'm voting for yours truly too.
[Everett and Pete look at Delmar for the deciding vote]
Delmar O'Donnell: Okay... I'm with you fellas.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pete: I've always wondered, what's the devil look like?
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, there are all manner of lesser imps and demons, Pete, but the great Satan hisself is red and scaly with a bifurcated tail, and he carries a hay fork.
Tommy Johnson: Oh, no. No, sir. He's white, as white as you folks, with empty eyes and a big hollow voice. He likes to travel around with a mean old hound. That's right.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tommy Johnson: I had to be up at that there crossroads last midnight, to sell my soul to the devil.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, ain't it a small world, spiritually speaking. Pete and Delmar just been baptized and saved. I guess I'm the only one that remains unaffiliated.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: Why are you telling our gals that I was hit by a train?
Penny Wharvey McGill: Lots of respectable people have been hit by trains. Judge Hobbie over in Cookville was hit by a train. What was I gonna tell them, that you got sent to the penal farm and I divorced you from shame?
Ulysses Everett McGill: Uh, I take your point. But it does put me in a damn awkward position, vis-a-vis my progeny.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: Say, any of you boys smithies? Or, if not smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts before straitened circumstances forced you into a life of aimless wanderin'?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pete: You miserable little snake! You stole from my kin!
Ulysses Everett McGill: Who was fixin' to betray us.
Pete: You didn't know that at the time.
Ulysses Everett McGill: So I borrowed it until I did know.
Pete: That don't make no sense!
Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete, it's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Penny Wharvey McGill: Vernon here's got a job. Vernon's got prospects. He's bona fide. What are you?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delmar O'Donnell: Them syreens did this to Pete. They loved him up and turned him into a horny toad.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pete: Since we been followin' your lead, we ain't got nothing but trouble.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pete: Well hell, it ain't square one! Ain't nobody gonna pick up three filthy, unshaved hitch-hikers, and one of them a know-it-all that can't keep his trap shut.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete, the personal rancor reflected in that remark I don't intend to dignify with comment. But I would like to address your general attitude of hopeless negativism. Consider the lilies of the goddamn field or... hell! Take at look at Delmar here as your paradigm of hope.
Delmar O'Donnell: Yeah, look at me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pomade Vendor: I can get the part from Bristol. It'll take two weeks, here's your pomade.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Two weeks? That don't do me no good.
Pomade Vendor: Nearest Ford auto man's Bristol.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Hold on, I don't want this pomade. I want Dapper Dan.
Pomade Vendor: I don't carry Dapper Dan, I carry Fop.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, I don't want Fop, goddamn it! I'm a Dapper Dan man!
Pomade Vendor: Watch your language, young feller, this is a public market. Now if you want Dapper Dan, I can order it for you, have it in a couple of weeks.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, ain't this place a geographical oddity. Two weeks from everywhere!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, it didn't look like a two-horse town, but try finding a decent hair jelly.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delmar O'Donnell: Friend? Some of your foldin' money is come unstowed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delmar O'Donnell: I'm gonna visit those foreclosing son-of-a-guns at the Indianola Savings & Loan, slap that money on the barrelhead and buy back the family farm. You ain't no kind of man if you ain't got land.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
George Nelson: Jesus saves, George Nelson withdraws!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delmar O'Donnell: You work for the railroad, Grampa?
Blind Seer: I work for no man.
Delmar O'Donnell: Got a name, do you?
Blind Seer: I have no name.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, that right there may be the reason you've had difficulty findin' gainful employment. You see, in the mart of competitive commerce...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delmar O'Donnell: We thought you was a toad!
Pete: What?
Delmar O'Donnell: [leaning in, speaking slower] We thought you was a toad!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lund: Now, what can I do you for Mr. French?
French: How can I lay a hold of them Soggy Bottom Boys?
Lund: Soggy Bottom? I don't recitely recollect them.
French: They cut a record in here a few days ago, was an old-timey harmony thing with a guitar accom... accomp...
Lund: Oh myeah myeah myeah myeah I remember them. They was colored fellas I believe.
French: Uh huh.
Lund: Yessah, they're a fine bunch a boys. They sang in the yonder can and skeedadled.
French: Well that record is goin' through the goddamned roof. They playin' it as far away as Mobile.
Lund: Naw?
French: Whole damn state's goin' apey.
Lund: Well it was a powerful air.
French: Hot damn, we gotta find them boys and sign 'em to a big fat contract. Hells Bells, Mr. Lund, if we don't the goddamned competition will.
Lund: Ohhhh mercy yes we got to beat that competition.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: The treasure is still there boys, believe me.
Delmar O'Donnell: But how'd he know about the treasure?
Ulysses Everett McGill: I don't know Delmar. The blind are reputed to possess sensitivities compensating for their lack of sight, even to the point of developing paranormal psychic powers. Now, clearly seeing into the future would fall into neatly into that category; its not so surprising then that an organism deprived of its earthly vision...
Pete: He said we wouldn't get get it. He said we wouldn't get the treasure we seek on account of our ob-stac-les.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well what the hell does he know, he's just an ignorant old man?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pete: Do not seek the treasure!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blind Seer: You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek. But first... first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril. Mm-hmm. You shall see thangs, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... a cow... on the roof of a cotton house, ha. And, oh, so many startlements. I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the obstacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward. Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer Stokes: The color guard is colored!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Washington Hogwallop: Mrs. Hogwallop up and R-U-N-N-O-F-T.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: I was not hit by a train. Damnit, I am the paterfamilias!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delmar O'Donnell: Gopher, Everett?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pappy O'Daniel: Shake a leg Junior! Thank God your mammy died givin' birth. If she'd have seen you, she'd have died o' shame.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delmar O'Donnell: They... took... his... heart!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: [Upon being startled awake] Mmmm. How's my hair?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: I detect, like me, you're endowed with the gift of gab.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Big Dan Teague: Thank you boys for throwin' in that fricassee. I'm a man of large appetite, and even with lunch under my belt, I was feelin' a mite peckish.
Ulysses Everett McGill: It's our pleasure, Big Dan.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Big Dan Teague: You don't say much my friend, but when you do it's to the point, and I salute you for it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: I am the only daddy you got! I'm the damn paterfamilias!
Wharvey Gal: But you ain't bona fide!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: A woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: Tommy, what you ridin' there?
Tommy Johnson: Uh... Roll top desk!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delmar O'Donnell: where's the happy little tire swing?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Washington Hogwallop: I slaughtered this horse last Tuesday. I think it's startin' to turn.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Penny Wharvey McGill: The only good thing you ever did for the gals was get hit by that train!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, you lying... unconstant... succubus!
Vernon T. Waldrip: Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't swear at my fiancé!
Ulysses Everett McGill: Oh, yeah? Well, you can't marry my wife!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: I'm not sure that's Pete.
Delmar O'Donnell: Of course it's Pete! Look at him!... We gotta find some kind of wizard to change him back.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delmar O'Donnell: Care for some gopher?
Ulysses Everett McGill: No thank you, Delmar. One third of a gopher would only arouse my appetite without bedding it down.
Delmar O'Donnell: Oh, you can have the whole thing. Me and Pete already had one apiece. We ran across a whole... gopher village.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pete: My pa always said "Never trust a Hogwallop!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pappy's Staff: The reason he's pullin' our pants down.
Pappy's Staff: Gonna paddle a little behind.
Pappy's Staff: Ain't gonna paddle it - gonna kick it, real hard.
Pappy's Staff: No, I believe he's gonna paddle it.
Pappy's Staff: I don't believe that's a proper characterization.
Pappy's Staff: Well, that's how I'd characterize it.
Pappy's Staff: I believe it's more of a kickin' sitcheyation.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pappy O'Daniel: I'll press your flesh, you dimwitted sumbitch! You don't tell your pappy how to court the electorate. We ain't one-at-a-timin' here. We're MASS communicating!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Discussing how to counter Homer Stokes' campaign for governor]
Junior O'Daniel: We could hire our own midget, even shorter than his.
Pappy O'Daniel: Wouldn't we look like a bunch of Johnny-come-latelies, bragging on our own midget, doesn't matter how stumpy.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pappy O'Daniel: Moral fibre? I invented moral fibre! Pappy O'Daniel was displaying rectitude and high-mindedness when that egghead you work for was still messing his drawers!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer Stokes: These boys is not white! These boys is not white! Hell, they ain't even old timey!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer Stokes: This band of mistreants, this very evening, interfered with a lynch mob in the performance of its duty.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, I guess hard times flush the chump. Everybody's lookin' for answers... Where the hell's he goin'?
[as Delmar runs out to be baptized]
Pete: Well, I'll be a son of a b****. Delmar's been saved!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: You can't display a toad in a fine restaurant like this! Why, the good folks here would go right off the feed!
Delmar O'Donnell: I just don't think it's right keeping him under wraps like we's ashamed of him.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, if it is Pete, I am ashamed of him! Way I see it, he got what he deserved, fornicating with some whore of Babylon. These things don't happen for no reason, Delmar. It's obviously some kinda judgment on his character.
Delmar O'Donnell: Well, the two of us was fixin' to fornicate!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: Say, uh, Cousin Wash, I suppose it'd be the acme of foolishness to inquire if you had a hair net.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man with Bullhorn: All right, boys! It's the authorities! We got you surrounded! Just come on out and grabbin' air! And don't try nothing fancy! Your sityeachin is purty nigh hopeless!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete's cousin turned us in for the bounty.
Pete: The hell you say! Wash is kin!
Washington Hogwallop: Sorry, Pete, I know we're kin, but they got this depression on. I got to do for me and mine.
Pete: I'm gonna kill you, Judas Iscariot Hogwallop!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: The old tactician has got a plan. For the transportation that is, I don't know how I'm gonna keep my coiffure in order.
Pete: How's this a plan? How we gonna get a car?
Ulysses Everett McGill: Sell that. I figure it can only have painful association for Wash.
Pete: [reading] "To Washington Bartholomew Hogwallop, from his loving Cora. Amor Fidel... is."
Ulysses Everett McGill: It was in his bureau. I figure it'll fetch us enough cash for a good used auto-voiture, and a little left over besides.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after the *FOUR* soggy bottom boys finish recording "I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow"]
Ulysses Everett McGill: Woo! Hot Damn, son I believe you did sell your soul to the devil.
Lund: Woooooooo-wee. Boy, that was a miiiighty fine a-pickin' and a-singin'. I'll tell you what, you come on in here and sign these papers here and I'm a gonna you ten dollars a piece.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Uh, okay sir. But Murt and Aloysius will have to sign Xes as only four of us can write.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[as a noose is flung over Pete]
Sheriff Cooley: Stairway to heaven. We shall all meet by and by.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[about to be hung]
Ulysses Everett McGill: It ain't the law!
Sheriff Cooley: The law? The law is a human institution.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pappy O'Daniel: Holey moley! These boys are a hit!
Junior O'Daniel: But Pappy, they's integrated!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer Stokes: Is you is, or is you ain't, my constituency?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
George Nelson: I'm George Nelson, and I'm feeling ten feet tall!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: So you're against me now too? Is that how it is boys? The whole world, God almighty, and now you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: What'd the devil give you for your soul, Tommy?
Tommy Johnson: Well, he taught me to play this here guitar real good.
Delmar O'Donnell: Oh son, for that you sold your everlasting soul?
Tommy Johnson: Well, I wasn't usin' it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pete: Well I'll be a sonofabitch. Delmar's been saved.
Delmar O'Donnell: Well that's it, boys. I've been redeemed. The preacher's done warshed away all my sins and transgressions. It's the straight and narrow from here on out, and heaven everlasting's my reward.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Delmar, what are you talking about? We've got bigger fish to fry.
Delmar O'Donnell: The preacher says all my sins is warshed away, including that Piggly Wiggly I knocked over in Yazoo.
Ulysses Everett McGill: I thought you said you was innocent of those charges?
Delmar O'Donnell: Well I was lyin'. And the preacher says that that sin's been warshed away too. Neither God nor man's got nothin' on me now. C'mon in boys, the water is fine.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Soggy Bottom Customer: Do you have the Soggy Bottom Boys performing "Man of Constant Sorrow"?
Record Store Clerk: No ma'am. We got a new shipment in yesterday. Sorry, but we just can't keep 'em on our shelves.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: Ain't you gonna introduce us, Pete?
Pete: I don't know their names. I seen 'em first!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Big Dan Teague: So long boys. See you in the funny papers.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Penny Wharvey McGill: I've spoken my piece and counted to three.
Ulysses Everett McGill: She counted to three. Goddamit! She counted to three. Sonofabitch!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pappy O'Daniel: Furthermore, in the second Pappy O'Daniel administration, these boys is gonna be my *brain* trust.
Delmar O'Donnell: What's that mean, Everett?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: I like the smell of my hair treatment; the pleasing odor is half the point.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, as soon as we get ourselves cleaned up and we get a little smellum in our hair, why, we're gonna feel 100% better about ourselves and about life in general.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer Stokes: Those boys desecrated a burning cross!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delmar O'Donnell: Hey mister! I don't mean to be tellin' tales out of school, but there's a feller in there that'll pay you ten dollars if you sing into his can.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Big Dan Teague: I'm gonna propose you a proposition!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pete: You ruined my life!
[while being choked]
Ulysses Everett McGill: I do apologize about that Pete.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homer Stokes: [as Grand Kleagle at a KKK rally] Brothers! Oh, brothers! We have all gathered here, to preserve our hallowed culture and heritage! We aim to pull evil up by the root, before it chokes out the flower of our culture and heritage! And our women, let's not forget those ladies, y'all. Looking to us for protection! From darkies, from Jews, from papists, and from all those smart-ass folks say we come descended from monkeys!

John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

Die Hard.




I still use the line today!

Patton: "Men, all this stuff you've heard about America not wanting to fight - wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans traditionally love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, big league ball players, the toughest boxers. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost and never will lose a war, because the very thought of losing is hateful to Americans."

Patton: "Now there's another thing I want you to remember. I don't want to get any messages saying that we are holding our position. We're not holding anything. Let the Hun do that. We are advancing constantly and we're not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and we're going to kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're going to go through him like crap through a goose."

"We're gonna have a little order around here"- The Stepfather

"Is your child in dire jeopardy? Find out after the game."- Bruce Almighty

"Screwface have two head and four eye. Dat da secret to his magic"
"Everybody want go heaven but nobody want dead"--
Marked for Death

"I say we juice up the whirlybird, go to an island and soak up some sun"
"You and I can go there and make babies"--
Day of the Dead

"He's a blacksmith. No, he's a pirate"- Pirates of the Carribbeann

"I like New York in June. How 'bout you?"- The Fisher King

"I know how to french kiss. Yeah well daddy says I'm the best"- Vacation

MOre to follow

Austin Powers: Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later? How do you like to do it? Do you like to washup first? You know, top and tails...whores bath? Personally before I'm on the job, I like to give my undercarriage a bit of a how's your father!

Grumpier Old Men: The baby bear looked and he said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed, and the bastard's still there!" But Goldilocks had a Remington semi-automatic, with a scope and a hair trigger!

Trading Places: Say man when I was growing up, we wanted a Jacuzzi, we had to fart in the tub.

Strange Brew:
Bob: You okay, hoser?
Doug: I am your father Luke! Give into the dark side of the force, you nob!
Bob: He saw Jedi 17 times, eh?

Monty Pyton and the Holy Grail:
FRENCH GUARD: "You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
GALAHAD: "Is there someone else up there we could talk to?"
FRENCH GUARD: "No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!"

You're my boy, Blue!--Old School

Trains don't run outta' Witchita....'lessen 'yore cattle or a hog.--Trains, Planes, and Automobiles

Happy Gilmore to Bob Barker....The price is WRONG b*tch!

"I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane, with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here with a big ribbon on his head. And, I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, floor-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d*ckless, hopeless, heartless, fat-*ss, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed, sack of monkey sh*t he is! Hallelujah! Holly Sh*t! Where's the Tylenol?" -- National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

"We're all gonna have so much f*cking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our Godd*mn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-da out of your *ssholes!" -- National Lampoon's Vacation

more to come....this is too fun!