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Attributed to George Carlin regarding New Orleans...

Posted: October 13, 2005 12:28 pm
by aeroparrot
Been sitting here with my ass in a wad, wanting to speak out about the
***** going on in New Orleans. For the people of New Orleans... First we
would like to say, Sorry for your loss. With that said, Let's go through a
few hurricane rules: (Unlike an earthquake, we know it's coming)

#1. A mandatory evacuation means just that...Get the hell out.
Don't blame the Government after they tell you to go. If they hadn't said
anything, I can see the argument. They said get out... if you didn't, it's
your fault, not theirs. (We don't want to hear it, even if you don't have
a car, you can get out.)

#2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables.
If you didn't do this, it's not the Government's fault you're starving.

#2a. If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some.
(Remember, shoes, TV's, DVD's and CD's are not edible. Leave them alone.)

#2b. If the local store has been looted of food or water, leave your
neighbor's TV and stereo alone. (See #2a) They worked hard to get their
stuff. Just because they were smart enough to leave during a mandatory
evacuation, doesn't give you the right to take their stuff...it's theirs,
not yours.

#3. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then complain
no one is helping you. I'm not getting shot to help save some dumbass who
didn't leave when told to do so.

#4. If you are in your house that is completely under water, your belongings
are probably too far gone for anyone to want them. If someone does want
them, let them have them and hopefully they'll die in the filth. Just
leave! (It's New Orleans, find a voodoo warrior and put a curse on them)

#5. My tax money should not pay to rebuild a 2 million dollar house, a
sports stadium or a floating casino. Also, my tax money shouldn't go to
rebuild a city that is under sea level. You wouldn't build your house on
quicksand would you? You want to live below sea-level, do your country some
good and join the Navy.

#6. Regardless of what the Poverty Pimps Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton want
you to believe, The US Government didn't create the Hurricane as a way to
eradicate the black people of New Orleans; (Neither did Russia as a way to
destroy America). The US Government didn't cause global warming that caused
the hurricane (We've been coming out of an ice age for over a million
years).

#7. The government isn't responsible for giving you anything. This is the
land of the free and the home of the brave, but you gotta work for what you
want. McDonalds and Wal-Mart are always hiring, get a damn job and stop
spooning off the people who are actually working for a living. President
Kennedy said it best..."Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what
you can do for your country."

Thank you for allowing me to rant.

Posted: October 13, 2005 12:29 pm
by rednekkPH

Posted: October 13, 2005 12:29 pm
by RinglingRingling
why do I get the feeling this is the same sort of attribution as the directions Mr. Carlin supposedly wrote after 9/11?

Posted: October 13, 2005 12:33 pm
by Jahfin
From Snopes2.com:

Hurricane Rules


Claim: Comedian George Carlin wrote a list of "Hurricane Rules."

Status: False.

Example: [Collected via e-mail, 2005]

Been sitting here with my ass in a wad, wanting to speak out about the ***** going on in New Orleans.

For the people of New Orleans... First we would like to say, Sorry for your loss.

With that said, Lets go through a few hurricane rules: (Unlike an earthquake, we know it's coming)

#1. A manditory evacuation means just that... Get the hell out. Don't blame the Government after they tell you to go. If they hadn't said anything, I can see the arguement. They said get out... if you didn't, it's your fault, not theirs. (We don't want to hear it, even if you don't have a car, you can get out.)

#2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and non-perishables. If you didn't do this, it's not the governments fault you're starving.

#2a. If you run out of food and water, find a store that has some. (Remember, shoes, TV's, DVD's and CD's are not edible. Leave them alone.)

#2b. If the local store is too looted of food or water, leave your neighbor's tv and stereo alone. (See # 2a) They worked hard to get their stuff. Just because they were smart enough to leave during a manditory evacuation, doesn't give you the right to take their stuff... it's theirs, not yours.

#3. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at them and then complain no one is helping you. I'm not getting shot to help save some dumbass who didn't leave when told to do so.

#4. If you are in your house that is completely under water, your belongings are probably too far gone for anyone to want them. If someone does want them, Let them have them and hopefully they'll die in the filth. Just leave! (For Christ's sakes, it's New Orleans, find a voodoo warrior and put a curse on them)

#5. My tax money should not pay to rebuild a 2 million dollar house, a sports stadium or a floating casino. Also, my tax money shouldn't go to rebuild a city that is under sea level. You wouldn't build your house on quicksand would you? You want to live below sea-level, do your country some good and join the Navy.

#6. Regardless what the Poverty Pimps Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton want you to believe, The US Government didn't create the Hurricane as a way to erradicate the black people of New Orleans; (Neither did Russia as a way to destroy America). The US Government didn't cause global warming that caused the hurricane (We've been coming out of an ice age for over a million years).

#7. The government isn't responsible for giving you anything. This is the land of the free and the home of the brave, but you gotta work for what you want. McDonalds and Walmart are always hiring, get a damn job and stop spooning off the people who are actually working for a living.

President Kennedy said it best... "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

Thank you for allowing me to rant.

Origins: This list of supposed common sense 'rules' has been attributed both to comedian George Carlin and to New Orleans blues musician Bill Boudreaux. It does not appear to be the work of either: Boudreaux's name came to be associated with the piece more than a week after it appeared, and Carlin's did not appear in association with it until October 2005. Our first sighting of the item was on the alt.vacation.las-vegas USENET newsgroup, where it appeared in a 14 September 2005 post. Even at that early date the identity of the diatribe's author had been obscured, with the poster later disclaiming having written it himself in the discussion thread sparked by his
offering.

George Carlin has disclaimed authorship of similar humor-tinged political screeds (e.g., "Paradox of Our Time," a 'things were better in the good old days' essay executed in the form of a comparison list, and "I'm a Bad American," a point-form essay advancing the cause of intolerance.) As we've discovered, just about any unsourced list of witty observations about politics and social mores will eventually become credited to him as it passes from inbox to inbox. As he has posted on his web site about such soapboxings:
DON'T BLAME ME

Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine. Don't blame me.

Some are essay-length, some are just short lists of one and two-line jokes, but if they're flyin' around the Internet, they're probably not mine. Occasionally, a couple of jokes on a long list might have come from me, but not often. And because most of this stuff is really lame, it's embarrassing to see my name on it.

And that's the problem. I want people to know that I take care with my writing, and try to keep my standards high. But most of this "humor" on the Internet is just plain stupid. I guess hard-core fans who follow my stuff closely would be able to spot the fake stuff, because the tone of voice is so different. But a casual fan has no way of knowing, and it bothers me that some people might believe I'd actually be capable of writing some of this stuff.
George Carlin offers this bit of wisdom: "Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it came from one of my albums, books, HBO shows, or appeared on my website."

Barbara "disgeorged" Mikkelson

Last updated: 7 October 2005

The URL for this page is http://www.snopes.com/katrina/soapbox/carlin.asp

Posted: October 13, 2005 12:36 pm
by land_shark3
It's not Carlin's work, but it is pretty funny! :lol:

Posted: October 13, 2005 1:12 pm
by aeroparrot
That is why I said it is attributed and never said it was him.

Ringling, I think the one you are thinking of is the thing Robin Williams was to have supposedly said after 9/11.

Posted: October 13, 2005 2:05 pm
by Jahfin
aeroparrot wrote:That is why I said it is attributed and never said it was him.
Not to split hairs because you obviously had no idea but isn't that the same thing? "Credited to" being a synonym for "attributed to". I've certainly posted stuff in the past that I later learned was untrue but I usually try to check Snopes first just to be sure. Still, no big whoop.
aeroparrot wrote:Ringling, I think the one you are thinking of is the thing Robin Williams was to have supposedly said after 9/11.
Is this the one?

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/carlin.asp

Posted: October 13, 2005 2:17 pm
by RinglingRingling
Jahfin wrote:
aeroparrot wrote:That is why I said it is attributed and never said it was him.
Not to split hairs because you obviously had no idea but isn't that the same thing? "Credited to" being a synonym for "attributed to". I've certainly posted stuff in the past that I later learned was untrue but I usually try to check Snopes first just to be sure. Still, no big whoop.
aeroparrot wrote:Ringling, I think the one you are thinking of is the thing Robin Williams was to have supposedly said after 9/11.
Is this the one?

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/carlin.asp
No. It might have been Robin Williams who got the "attribution", tho there are always folks who might switch that to Carlin too.

Posted: October 13, 2005 6:55 pm
by Ilph
It seems that every time there is some half funny but meanspirited essay, it ALWAYS ends up with Carlin's name on it.

Posted: October 13, 2005 6:56 pm
by aeroparrot
Ilph wrote:It seems that every time there is some half funny but meanspirited essay, it ALWAYS ends up with Carlin's name on it.
Probably is because it would be said like how he will say it.

Posted: October 13, 2005 7:08 pm
by RinglingRingling
aeroparrot wrote:
Ilph wrote:It seems that every time there is some half funny but meanspirited essay, it ALWAYS ends up with Carlin's name on it.
Probably is because it would be said like how he will say it.
Carlin isn't so mean-spirited as acerbic, and he requires a bit of thought to get the humour. A lot of what those two pieces does is not the same "flavour".

Posted: October 13, 2005 7:16 pm
by aeroparrot
RinglingRingling wrote:
aeroparrot wrote:
Ilph wrote:It seems that every time there is some half funny but meanspirited essay, it ALWAYS ends up with Carlin's name on it.
Probably is because it would be said like how he will say it.
Carlin isn't so mean-spirited as acerbic, and he requires a bit of thought to get the humour. A lot of what those two pieces does is not the same "flavour".
I'm not saying he is mean spirited but it just SEEMS like his jokes are mean spirited even though he isn't.

Posted: October 13, 2005 9:03 pm
by RinglingRingling
all I am saying is that dry and/or acerbic gets taken that way. But, Carlin's style doesn't come close to sounding like some of the things that get attributed to him and the internet keeps the rumour alive. Kinda like the claim that Target was owned by a French company and should be boycotted for that after 9/11.

The internet is a wonderful thing, but it makes the adage, "Lies fly at the speed of sound; the truth walks on two legs."

Posted: October 13, 2005 9:31 pm
by aeroparrot
RinglingRingling wrote:all I am saying is that dry and/or acerbic gets taken that way. But, Carlin's style doesn't come close to sounding like some of the things that get attributed to him and the internet keeps the rumour alive. Kinda like the claim that Target was owned by a French company and should be boycotted for that after 9/11.

The internet is a wonderful thing, but it makes the adage, "Lies fly at the speed of sound; the truth walks on two legs."
Yep.

Posted: October 14, 2005 9:22 am
by Sleepless Knight
George Carlin doesn't typically defend the government!

Posted: October 14, 2005 9:25 am
by ToplessRideFL
I dont care who wrote it.... its on point!

Posted: October 14, 2005 9:28 am
by RAGTOP
Carlins social satire and political views differ a bit from his stand up routine to the way he typical feels and acts off stage. If you ever get the chance go see him at one of his book signings. You'll get a feel for the real George Carlin there.

Posted: October 14, 2005 11:15 am
by LaTda
ToplessRideFL wrote:I dont care who wrote it.... its on point!
actually it's not.
explain how the dozens & dozens of people who died in nursing homes were supposed to get out when the staff left them for dead
or the people in hospitals, or the people w/out cars who tried to take buses - but were tirned away as the buses were only for families of the police.

It's easy to take that stance but you know what Yoda says about the easy path :lol:

oh & for you know-it-all snopers I roll my eyes in your general direction :roll: :roll: :roll:
:wink: