I hate deer

thegoatgod · Post by **thegoatgod** » November 29, 2005 12:40 pm

Jodibug · Post by **Jodibug** » November 29, 2005 12:40 pm

Why? They won't let you hump them?

ph4ever · Post by **ph4ever** » November 29, 2005 12:41 pm

either you didn't bag one or you ran over one.

Which one is it?

Capt.Flock · Post by **Capt.Flock** » November 29, 2005 12:46 pm

they eat all his food

rednekkPH · Post by **rednekkPH** » November 29, 2005 12:51 pm

I love them. In fact I helped butcher 4 of them yesterday...yummy

thegoatgod · Post by **thegoatgod** » November 29, 2005 12:52 pm

ph4ever wrote:either you didn't bag one or you ran over one.

Which one is it?

well i was going to school this mornin minding my own bizness when a beautiful 12 point runs out onto the road, as i see him, he notices me, he gains speed as he sees the deadly jeep heading his way, as he gains speed i apply breaks, as i reach 55mph, i also reach the before mentioned deer, his eyes get wide, he couldnt speak but i know his eyes were saying "oh sh!t" as i hit this deer perfectly in the side, he bust my grill, headlights, and radiator, he also shifts the position of my bumper, i cause multi breaks in all the ribs of his body, i make him defecate upon impact, it goes all over the jeep, i finally slow the speed of the jeep to a lesser amount then the flying deer, the deer lands about 20 feet ahead of me, then slides upon his side for another 30 yards, i ask my buddy if he has a knife, im gettin out to claim my kill, the deer looks at me, and changes the words in his eyes to, f you, gets up charges at me then runs back into the woods, i stand in the middle of the road amazed that the deer wasnt knocked retarded and began the 3 mile hike to cellphone service, i hate deer

ph4ever · Post by **ph4ever** » November 29, 2005 12:52 pm

rednekkPH wrote:I love them. In fact I helped butcher 4 of them yesterday...yummy

you made me drool. It's been a while since I've had venison fajitas.

iuparrothead · Post by **iuparrothead** » November 29, 2005 12:54 pm

thegoatgod wrote:i make him defecate upon impact, it goes all over the jeep

You got deer poop all over your Jeep!

(I'm really immature)

ph4ever · Post by **ph4ever** » November 29, 2005 12:54 pm

thegoatgod wrote:
ph4ever wrote:either you didn't bag one or you ran over one.

Which one is it?
well i was going to school this mornin minding my own bizness when a beautiful 12 point runs out onto the road, as i see him, he notices me, he gains speed as he sees the deadly jeep heading his way, as he gains speed i apply breaks, as i reach 55mph, i also reach the before mentioned deer, his eyes get wide, he couldnt speak but i know his eyes were saying "oh sh!t" as i hit this deer perfectly in the side, he bust my grill, headlights, and radiator, he also shifts the position of my bumper, i cause multi breaks in all the ribs of his body, i make him defecate upon impact, it goes all over the jeep, i finally slow the speed of the jeep to a lesser amount then the flying deer, the deer lands about 20 feet ahead of me, then slides upon his side for another 30 yards, i ask my buddy if he has a knife, im gettin out to claim my kill, the deer looks at me, and changes the words in his eyes to, f you, gets up charges at me then runs back into the woods, i stand in the middle of the road amazed that the deer wasnt knocked retarded and began the 3 mile hike to cellphone service, i hate deer

you should have followed him. I bet he ran off to die.

Sorry about the jeep damage - that su<ks.

ph4ever · Post by **ph4ever** » November 29, 2005 12:55 pm

iuparrothead wrote:
thegoatgod wrote:i make him defecate upon impact, it goes all over the jeep
You got deer poop all over your Jeep!

(I'm really immature)

I LMAOPMP on that one too...........

mings · Post by **mings** » November 29, 2005 12:55 pm

iuparrothead wrote:
thegoatgod wrote:i make him defecate upon impact, it goes all over the jeep
You got deer poop all over your Jeep!

(I'm really immature)

no you're not - that's f***ing funny. YOu can't write that sh!t (pardon teh pun)

Sorry to hear about the jeep dude. THat blows.

Tiki Bar · Post by **Tiki Bar** » November 29, 2005 12:56 pm

I love deer, just because without them, I wouldn't have read that darn entertaining story!

thegoatgod · Post by **thegoatgod** » November 29, 2005 12:58 pm

Tiki Bar wrote:I love deer, just because without them, I wouldn't have read that darn entertaining story!

thats the short one, im am currently working on a good long story for my blog, i will post the link when i finish it tonite or tomorrow

UAHparrothead · Post by **UAHparrothead** » November 29, 2005 12:58 pm

I've been there, glad you are ok

Tiki Bar · Post by **Tiki Bar** » November 29, 2005 12:59 pm

Oh, and I'm glad you're ok and didn't deficate all over the inside of the jeep!

And sorry about the jeep and the walk!

And if you had in fact gotten the souvenier, would you have become the deergod? (which has a funny ring to it!)

ph4ever · Post by **ph4ever** » November 29, 2005 1:01 pm

In high school a friend of mine was driving my car. I was in the back seat. It was a dark country road. All of a sudden my friend yells "A$$" I pop up and see a huge cow butt just as she drives thru the ditch, around the cow. I'm sooo glad she missed it. I would have been so hard to explain that one to dad.

Tiki Bar · Post by **Tiki Bar** » November 29, 2005 1:03 pm

ph4ever wrote:In high school a friend of mine was driving my car. I was in the back seat. It was a dark country road. All of a sudden my friend yells "A$$" I pop up and see a huge cow butt just as she drives thru the ditch, around the cow. I'm sooo glad she missed it. I would have been so hard to explain that one to dad.

What were you doing in the back seat that you had to pop up??

thegoatgod · Post by **thegoatgod** » November 29, 2005 1:03 pm

Tiki Bar wrote:Oh, and I'm glad you're ok and didn't deficate all over the inside of the jeep!

And sorry about the jeep and the walk!

And if you had in fact gotten the souvenier, would you have become the deergod? (which has a funny ring to it!)

perhaps an alter ego????

and yes i was fine, my buddy riding with me was fine, i could tell by his laughing as the poop began to hit the windshield, its just a car so im good and in good humor about it as you can tell, thanks for the kind words

mings · Post by **mings** » November 29, 2005 1:10 pm

ph4ever wrote:In high school a friend of mine was driving my car. I was in the back seat. It was a dark country road. All of a sudden my friend yells "A$$" I pop up and see a huge cow butt just as she drives thru the ditch, around the cow. I'm sooo glad she missed it. I would have been so hard to explain that one to dad.

okay okay.

I went to Charlottesville, Virginia to visit my uncle with the rest of my family about 12-15 years ago. All six of us were in a Ford Taurus station wagon and we were spread out all over with my brother and I in the back back seat. Well on the way home something happened ahead of us and a cattle-carrying truck somehow opened up and cows were all over the road. Some were unable to move after falling out of the truck. This must have just happened, because we were going at full speed (65) and as the car ahead of us swerves out of the way, we learn why, but it's too late for dad to do anything. So he aims at the center of the cow who is lying in the middle of the lane, thinking that anything else will cause the car to roll, or hitting it off-center will be worse and could flip us. Well, we jumped the cow, Dukes of Hazzard style and everyone went from sitting peacefully in their seats to smashing their faces on the ceiling. We must have been launched 3-4 feet in the air.

Needless to say, the car was in some shape when we got home so my dad took it to pep boys the next day. THey were asking him what the hell happened, because all along the underside of the car there was brown hair stuck in the joints and bolts. And that's the story of how we jumped a cow.

thegoatgod · Post by **thegoatgod** » November 29, 2005 1:12 pm

mings wrote:
ph4ever wrote:In high school a friend of mine was driving my car. I was in the back seat. It was a dark country road. All of a sudden my friend yells "A$$" I pop up and see a huge cow butt just as she drives thru the ditch, around the cow. I'm sooo glad she missed it. I would have been so hard to explain that one to dad.
okay okay.

I went to Charlottesville, Virginia to visit my uncle with the rest of my family about 12-15 years ago. All six of us were in a Ford Taurus station wagon and we were spread out all over with my brother and I in the back back seat. Well on the way home something happened ahead of us and a cattle-carrying truck somehow opened up and cows were all over the road. Some were unable to move after falling out of the truck. This must have just happened, because we were going at full speed (65) and as the car ahead of us swerves out of the way, we learn why, but it's too late for dad to do anything. So he aims at the center of the cow who is lying in the middle of the lane, thinking that anything else will cause the car to roll, or hitting it off-center will be worse and could flip us. Well, we jumped the cow, Dukes of Hazzard style and everyone went from sitting peacefully in their seats to smashing their faces on the ceiling. We must have been launched 3-4 feet in the air.

Needless to say, the car was in some shape when we got home so my dad took it to pep boys the next day. THey were asking him what the hell happened, because all along the underside of the car there was brown hair stuck in the joints and bolts. And that's the story of how we jumped a cow.

icantstoplaughing