BuffettNews.com

The following were taken from actual police car videos around the country.

Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out
after you wear them awhile.

Take your hands off the car, or I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document.

If you run, you'll go to jail tired.

Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know,
that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun.

So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?

Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will
help. Did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?

Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.

The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?

Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride
on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey %^&* (POOP).

Yeah, we have a quota. Two more and my wife gets a toaster oven.

In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.

Just how big were those two beers?

No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want.

I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours.
At least you know someone who can post your bail.

And the best one. . . . .
You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
Sign here.

ladyparrothead wrote:Just how big were those two beers?

land_shark3 wrote:

ladyparrothead wrote:Just how big were those two beers?

I know I missed out on something at the Alpine Tailgate...

about a year ago, we were working for a company that did internet marketing. we were working in a warehouse, shipping vitamins for a neutricutical company. We were sitting at our tables at break. my husband Dano was putting Jam on a bagel. and I was eating one, and trying to tune a radio. we were not looking up. Suddenly, we heard a voice say " Put down your Bagel and step away from the table." We looked up to see FBI and Police everywhere.......... We heard the line on an old movie the other day and almost lost it laughing. YOU CAN Bet the agent had been waiting years to use that line.

by the way, They took out more than 2 semi trucks of records and stuff. Put the company our of business. by freezing funds using a sealed enditement. and stll have neither released the reason or charged them with anything. it turned out that because of 9/11 the police are now allowed to do pretty much whatever they want.

Ches??

yes

yes