"your mama" jokes

sonofabeach · Post by **sonofabeach** » January 17, 2006 7:07 pm

your mama's so fat..............

When I told her it was chili outside, she ran out the door with a spoon and a bowl

When put on a Malcolm X jacket and a helicopter landed on her.

When she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'...

She once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!

She went on a rotation diet. Now everytime that she turns around she's eating

Folks exercise by jogging around her!

When she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.

Whe sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy

She make Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie

NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer

She was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm...

Small objects orbit her.

She make olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic.

When I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

When she farted she launched herself into orbit.

She lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her...behind Mount Everest.

When I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!

She could be the eighth continent.

She nearly put Safeway out of business

The only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

Her Uni graduation photo was an aerial

When she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.

She makes Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.

Her fave food is seconds.

Her belt size is Equator.

She eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid

She shows up on radar.

She needs a map to find her butt.

She fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!

She wears an asteroid belt.

Her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf'

She has TB ... 2 bellys.

She's once, twice, three times a lady.

She was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.

The circus uses her as a trampoline

Stunt agencies use her as an air mattress

When she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...'

She got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen

She once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding!

She deep fries her toothpaste.

got any?
Let's hear em...even the classics.

balcony girls · Post by **balcony girls** » January 17, 2006 7:10 pm

your mama's so fat . .

her butt has its own zip code . . .! !

Lightning Bolt · Post by **Lightning Bolt** » January 17, 2006 7:14 pm

Yo' mama's so fat

when she sit around the house.... she sits AROUND the house!!

sonofabeach · Post by **sonofabeach** » January 17, 2006 7:19 pm

Yo mama's so stupid.....
when she went to a square dance, someone yelled "hoedown" and she hit the floor

sonofabeach · Post by **sonofabeach** » January 17, 2006 7:19 pm

Yo mama's so stupid.....

I asked her why she was putting lipstick on her forehead and she said "I'm making up my mind"

ragtopW · Post by **ragtopW** » January 18, 2006 10:13 pm

sonofabeach · Post by **sonofabeach** » January 19, 2006 6:04 pm

yo mama's house is so small......

I stuck a key in the door and stabbed everybody

PhanPhromAngola · Post by **PhanPhromAngola** » January 27, 2006 6:13 am

Yo mama's so fat, every time somebody says Kool-Aid she comes bustin' through the wall.

Capt.Flock · Post by **Capt.Flock** » January 27, 2006 8:39 am

Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...

Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world

Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

tdparrothead · Post by **tdparrothead** » January 27, 2006 3:33 pm

sonofabeach · Post by **sonofabeach** » January 28, 2006 11:46 am

yo mamma's so fat.....

when she put on a pair of BVDs they spelled BOULEVARD

ragtopW · Post by **ragtopW** » January 28, 2006 1:24 pm

sonofabeach wrote:yo mamma's so fat.....

when she put on a pair of BVDs they spelled BOULEVARD

ragtopW · Post by **ragtopW** » February 1, 2006 11:58 pm

Yo' mama's so fat when she get's out of bed in New York she
sets off the seismographs in California.

sonofabeach · Post by **sonofabeach** » February 2, 2006 1:22 pm

ragtopW wrote:Yo' mama's so fat when she get's out of bed in New York she
sets off the seismographs in California.

that'll be me in a few years

sonofabeach · Post by **sonofabeach** » February 2, 2006 1:23 pm

ya mama's got Ed Zachary Disease

Her face looks Ed Zachary like her a$$

Ba doom bap!!!

ragtopW · Post by **ragtopW** » February 4, 2006 12:45 pm

Your mamma's so fat when she wears a yellow rain coat outside
I yell "TAXI!"

Left Field ParrotHead · February 7, 2006 11:40 pm

Just heard on the Colbert Report...

Yo mama's so fat...

When she was baptized, they had to do it at Sea World.

sonofabeach · Post by **sonofabeach** » April 11, 2006 10:39 am

Heard this on tv last night

Yo mama's so poor.....

the last time that she smelled a hot meal was when a rich man farted.

buffettbride · Post by **buffettbride** » April 11, 2006 10:42 am

Dear Michael,

I don't think yo mama loves you anymore.

Love,

BB

sonofabeach · Post by **sonofabeach** » April 11, 2006 10:43 pm

"mama....you've been bad"