Whats the best way to asked someone if they are into you?

RinglingRingling · Post by **RinglingRingling** » July 18, 2006 9:11 am

LIPH wrote:Get right to the point - wanna f**k?

the odds of a "yes" being better than even money when used in NYC?

Harry_Fins · Post by **Harry_Fins** » July 18, 2006 9:13 am

I think it depends a lot on your friendship as is what will happen.

I'm very good friends with a girl who I find to be absolutely gorgeous, completely down to earth and a great sense of humor, which makes her an excellent friend. But it was always kind of weird because I always thought there was something more between us so eventually I just said, lets go out under the pretext of it being a date. There were plenty of times when we almost hooked up or it seemed romantic when we were together so I figured what the heck. Total rejection but the best part about this girl is that she's so cool that it didn't ruin our friendship at all, it actually made it stronger b/c we both know where we stand and in the end, I think we both had the same feelings for each other, we are just scared b/c we're such good friends and we don't want to ruin that, especially since our best friends (now married to each other) are the same people, and her and I are always going to have to associate. That being said, its pretty obvious she is jealous of the girl I'm going out with now so who knows, it might still happen down the road.

On the other hand, I ruined an awesome friendship by dating a friend.

What I'm getting at is this: Is the juice worth the squeeze? If you truely value the friendship, you should just ask and see where you stand, you'll never be able to have a "full" friendship if there is this unknown looming over you. As other posters said, its pretty shallow that you couldn't remain friends with this person if it wasn't going somewhere romantically.

Godspeed.

Bubbaphan · Post by **Bubbaphan** » July 18, 2006 9:35 am

I usually go with this line: "Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual."

Seriously, the only way to find out anything is ask. Yes or no.
Then move on from there!
Good luck!!!

12vmanRick · Post by **12vmanRick** » July 18, 2006 9:38 am

In all reality if she said that, she only sees you as a friend and you are probably screwed. Girls are weird, they immediately see guys as a potential sex partner or not. If they choose not, you pretty much have a snowball's chance in hell of swaying them the other way. Because in the end it's all about sex.

RinglingRingling · Post by **RinglingRingling** » July 18, 2006 9:43 am

12vmanRick wrote:In all reality if she said that, she only sees you as a friend and you are probably screwed. Girls are weird, they immediately see guys as a potential sex partner or not. If they choose not, you pretty much have a snowball's chance in hell of swaying them the other way. Because in the end it's all about sex.

it is?

RinglingRingling · Post by **RinglingRingling** » July 18, 2006 9:44 am

Harry_Fins wrote:I think it depends a lot on your friendship as is what will happen.

I'm very good friends with a girl who I find to be absolutely gorgeous, completely down to earth and a great sense of humor, which makes her an excellent friend. But it was always kind of weird because I always thought there was something more between us so eventually I just said, lets go out under the pretext of it being a date. There were plenty of times when we almost hooked up or it seemed romantic when we were together so I figured what the heck. Total rejection but the best part about this girl is that she's so cool that it didn't ruin our friendship at all, it actually made it stronger b/c we both know where we stand and in the end, I think we both had the same feelings for each other, we are just scared b/c we're such good friends and we don't want to ruin that, especially since our best friends (now married to each other) are the same people, and her and I are always going to have to associate. That being said, its pretty obvious she is jealous of the girl I'm going out with now so who knows, it might still happen down the road.
On the other hand, I ruined an awesome friendship by dating a friend.

What I'm getting at is this: Is the juice worth the squeeze? If you truely value the friendship, you should just ask and see where you stand, you'll never be able to have a "full" friendship if there is this unknown looming over you. As other posters said, its pretty shallow that you couldn't remain friends with this person if it wasn't going somewhere romantically.

Godspeed.

so at the time you had that conversation, someone in it was just jerking your chain as to their feelings..

rednekkPH · Post by **rednekkPH** » July 18, 2006 9:59 am

Just ask her "Do you wanna f**k, or do I owe you a big apology?".

Harry_Fins · Post by **Harry_Fins** » July 18, 2006 10:05 am

[quote="RinglingRingling]
so at the time you had that conversation, someone in it was just jerking your chain as to their feelings..[/quote]

I don't look at it like that, I look at it in the sense that we're both playing the odds, both scared about getting into a relationship that could potentially damage an awesome friendship. When the cards were finally on the table, I was relieved afterwards because knowing where we stood allowed us to just relax around each other and just be friends.

You have to keep in mind that people natually have a greater attraction to people who aren't available. Not sure what the psychobabble is around it but its true. So her being a little jealous now that I'm dating someone is understandable.

RinglingRingling · Post by **RinglingRingling** » July 18, 2006 10:24 am

Harry_Fins wrote:[

not if she is married/engaged/attached.

tikitatas · Post by **tikitatas** » July 18, 2006 10:32 am

LIPH wrote:Get right to the point - wanna f**k?

LIPH · Post by **LIPH** » July 18, 2006 10:33 am

tikitatas wrote:
LIPH wrote:Get right to the point - wanna f**k?

If they're going to say no anyway, why beat around the bush? Ask and get it over with, save time and money.

tikitatas · Post by **tikitatas** » July 18, 2006 10:37 am

LIPH wrote:
tikitatas wrote:
LIPH wrote:Get right to the point - wanna f**k?

If they're going to say no anyway, why beat around the bush? Ask and get it over with, save time and money.

Ahhhhh, it's only money!

RinglingRingling · Post by **RinglingRingling** » July 18, 2006 10:46 am

LIPH wrote:
tikitatas wrote:
LIPH wrote:Get right to the point - wanna f**k?

If they're going to say no anyway, why beat around the bush? Ask and get it over with, save time and money.

not even going to say what came to mind...

RinglingRingling · Post by **RinglingRingling** » July 18, 2006 10:47 am

tikitatas wrote:
LIPH wrote:
tikitatas wrote:
LIPH wrote:Get right to the point - wanna f**k?

If they're going to say no anyway, why beat around the bush? Ask and get it over with, save time and money.
Ahhhhh, it's only money!

"Money's awful hard to get these days" - Bob Seger, "Live Bullet"

tikitatas · Post by **tikitatas** » July 18, 2006 10:50 am

RinglingRingling wrote:
tikitatas wrote:
LIPH wrote:
tikitatas wrote:
LIPH wrote:Get right to the point - wanna f**k?

If they're going to say no anyway, why beat around the bush? Ask and get it over with, save time and money.
Ahhhhh, it's only money!
"Money's awful hard to get these days" - Bob Seger, "Live Bullet"

Now time on the other hand, you never get back.

RinglingRingling · Post by **RinglingRingling** » July 18, 2006 10:55 am

tikitatas wrote:
RinglingRingling wrote:
tikitatas wrote:
LIPH wrote:
tikitatas wrote:
LIPH wrote:Get right to the point - wanna f**k?

If they're going to say no anyway, why beat around the bush? Ask and get it over with, save time and money.
Ahhhhh, it's only money!
"Money's awful hard to get these days" - Bob Seger, "Live Bullet"
Now time on the other hand, you never get back.

probably true. tho there are some times I am happy to have paid for.

tikitatas · Post by **tikitatas** » July 18, 2006 11:03 am

RinglingRingling wrote:
tikitatas wrote:
RinglingRingling wrote:
tikitatas wrote:
LIPH wrote:
tikitatas wrote:
If they're going to say no anyway, why beat around the bush? Ask and get it over with, save time and money.
Ahhhhh, it's only money!
"Money's awful hard to get these days" - Bob Seger, "Live Bullet"
Now time on the other hand, you never get back.
probably true. tho there are some times I am happy to have paid for.

*raising eyebrow* With time or with money, RR?

green1 · Post by **green1** » July 18, 2006 11:05 am

Reach down, grab a handful and ask her out on a date. So you stand the chance to loose a friend. You stand a chance of finding love.

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." Teddy Roosevelt

scubamyk · Post by **scubamyk** » July 18, 2006 11:15 am

Be bold and confident.
Let her know your true feelings and state them. DON'T PUSSYFOOT AROUND!
If you two have been friends and you are serious about wanting to go to the next level, you will be doing her an injustice if you tell her you "kinda like her more than friends".
Tell her that you have enough friends and you want more than that.
Tell her that you can't keep your emotions to yourself any longer.
Tell her she is your first thought when you wake and in your dreams at night and that she is your only means of escape from this mental cell you have built for yourself.

Don't make the mistake of passing her a note in class "Do you like me?"

Bubbaphan · Post by **Bubbaphan** » July 18, 2006 11:16 am

Elaine: You got something on your mind?

Jerry: No. Things pop into your head. You?

Elaine: Things occur to me from time to time.

Jerry: Yeah, me too. Well, you can't expect to just forget the past completely.

Elaine: No, of course not.

Jerry: I mean, it was something we did. Probably about, what? Twenty-five times?

Elaine: Thirty-seven.

Jerry: Yeah, we pretty much know what we're doin' in there. (Points to bedroom)

Elaine: We know the terrain.

Jerry: No big surprises.

Elaine: Nope.

Jerry: What do you think?

Elaine: I don't know. What do you think?

Jerry: Well, it's something to consider.

Elaine: Yeah.

Jerry: I mean, let's say we did.

Elaine: What if.

Jerry: Is that like the end of the world or something?

Elaine: Certainly not.

Jerry: Why shouldn't we be able to do that once in a while if we want to?

Elaine: I know.

Jerry: I mean, really, what is the big deal? We go in there. (Points to the bedroom) We're in there for a while. We come right back out here. It's not complicated.

Elaine: It's almost stupid if we didn't.

Jerry: It's moronic.

Elaine: Absurd!

Jerry: Of course, I guess, maybe, some little problems could arise.

Elaine: We, there are always a few.

Jerry: I mean, if anything happened, and we couldn't be friends the way we are now, that would be really bad.

Elaine: Devastating.

Jerry: Because this is very good. (Points back and forth between them to indicate friendship)

Elaine: And that would be good. (Points to bedroom)

Jerry: That would be good too. The idea is combine the this and the that. But this cannot be disturbed.

Elaine: Yeah, we just wanna take this and add that.

Jerry: But of course, we'd have to figure out a way to avoid the things that cause the little problems. Maybe some rules or something.

Elaine: Huh.

Jerry: For example, now, I call you whenever I'm inclined and vice versa.

Elaine: Right.

Jerry: But if we did that, we might feel a certain obligation to call.

Elaine: Well why should that be? Oh, I have an idea. I have an idea. No call the day after that.

Jerry: Beautiful. Let's make it a rule.

Elaine: All right, sir.

Jerry: Now here's another little rule. When we see each other now, we retire to our separate quarters. But sometimes, when people get involved with that, they feel pressure to sleep over. When that is not really sleep. Sleep is separate from that. And I don't see why sleep got all tied up and connected with that.

Elaine: Okay, okay. Spending the night is optional!

Jerry: Well now we're gettin' somewhere.

Elaine: What about the kiss goodnight?

Jerry: Fine. Well.

Elaine: Well.

Jerry: You ready?

Elaine: Ready.