Clemson Test

[palmettopirate]

Tommy Bowden was giving some high school senior prospective football players a test to see if they could get into Clemson.

It was a fill-in-the-blanks test.

One of the questions was, "Old Mac Donald had a __________."

One bewildered student whispered across the aisle to ask another student for the answer.

The other student whispers back, "farm, stupid."

The questioning student once again asks, "How do you spell that?"

The other student says, "You dummy, it's E-I-E-I-O."

[carolinagirl]

Love it! Go Cocks!

[CUparrot]

Oh yeah......well.....

How do you get a Univ. of South Carolina grad off your porch?




Pay for the pizza.

I've got more........but you can pretty much turn any joke like that around and make it go against any school you choose.

[palmettopirate]

CUparrot

You said,

Oh yeah......well.....

How do you get a Univ. of South Carolina grad off your porch?



Pay for the pizza.


Hey, I got a good one for Clemson fans.

An elementary school teacher in Georgia was trying to have some fun with her incoming class of youngsters. She asked them what their favorite football schools were.

Well, you know Georgia fans. All of the little Georgia students except for one said they were big Georgia fans.

But, one little girl said she was a Clemson fan.

The teacher asked why in the world she would want to be a Clemson fan.

The little girl responded that her mother was a Clemson fan and her father was a Clemson fan.

The teacher explained that those weren't good reasons and asked the little girl what she would be if her mother was a prostitute and her father was drug dealer.

The little girl responded without hesitation, "Then I'd be a Carolina fan."

[CUparrot]

OK--you've redeemed yourself. Thanks.

[parrotpartygod]

[AdamBomb8]

UNIVERSAL GRADE CHANGE FORM



University: ______________________
To: Professor_____________________
From: __________________________



I think my grade in your course,___________________, should be changed from ______ to _______ for the following reasons:

__1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did.

__2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did.

__3. This course will lower my Grade Point Average and I won't get into:

__Medical School
__Graduate School
__Dental School
__My Fraternity/Sorority
__The Mickey Mouse Club
__Tri County Tech

__4. I have to get an A in this course to balance the F in: _______________.

__5. I'll lose my scholarship.

__6. I'm on a varsity sports team and my tutor couldn't find a copy of your exam.

__7. I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the material asked for on the exam.

__8. I studied the basic principles and the exam wanted every little fact.

__9. I learned all the facts and definitions but your exams asked about general principles.

__10. You are prejudiced against:

__Males
__Jews
__Blacks
__Females
__Catholics
__Whites
__Protestants
__Moslems
__Minorities
__Chicanos
__People
__Students

__11. If I flunk out of school my father will disinherit me or at least cut my allowance.

__12. I was unable to do well in this course because of the following illness:

__mono
__broken baby finger
__acute alcoholism
__pregnancy
__VD
__fatherhood

__13. You told us to be creative but you didn't tell us exactly how you wanted that done.

__14. I was creative and you said I was just shooting the bull.

__15. I don't have a reason; I just want a higher grade.

__16. The lectures were:

__too detailed to pick out important points
__not explained in sufficient detail
__too boring
__all jokes and not enough material
__all of the above

__17. This course was:

__too early, I was not awake.
__at lunchtime, I was hungry
__too late, I was tired

__18. My (dog, cat, gerbil) (ate, wet on, threw up on) my (book, notes, paper) for this course.

__19. Other__________________________________