Funny things to tell a telemarketer

[ragtopW]

So I get a call today..
"Hello"
Hello Sir may I speak to the lady of the house?
Well there is not one but I am looking.. Are you tall, Blonde and have big.......... Hello?? Hello???



She hung up on me.....

[oneparticularwino]

I'm busy right now, give me your number and I'll call you back.

[SMLCHNG]

Good answer, Santa!

[ragtopW]

Good answer, Santa!

she woke me up from a nap.. She is major lucky..

[ph4ever]

I'm a huge major B!ATCH to telemarketers!!!

And I can't stand those people that walk up to you in the mall and want to know your opinion. I usually tell them my husband does all my thinking for me or I'm not allowed to have an opinion or Opinions are like assholes - show me your's and I'll give you mine.

Needless to say I don't go to malls often

[flipflopgirl]

So I get a call today..
"Hello"
Hello Sir may I speak to the lady of the house?
Well there is not one but I am looking.. Are you tall, Blonde and have big.......... Hello?? Hello???



She hung up on me.....

Good one!!!!!!!!!

[ragtopW]

So I get a call today..
"Hello"
Hello Sir may I speak to the lady of the house?
Well there is not one but I am looking.. Are you tall, Blonde and have big.......... Hello?? Hello???



She hung up on me.....

Good one!!!!!!!!!

she did not even let me tell her about my Whipped cream fetish..

[Tropic_Al]

I'll either hang up on 'em or put the phone on the table and let 'em talk. They'll hang up eventually. I don't get many calls. I guess I'm too rude.

[flipflopgirl]

So I get a call today..
"Hello"
Hello Sir may I speak to the lady of the house?
Well there is not one but I am looking.. Are you tall, Blonde and have big.......... Hello?? Hello???



She hung up on me.....

Good one!!!!!!!!!

she did not even let me tell her about my Whipped cream fetish..

Her loss!!!!!!!!!!

[ToplessRideFL]

I told someone my husband was in a wheelchair when they asked about dance lessons....

[alphabits]

We put ourselves on the national and state "do not call" lists. We haven't had any telemarketer calls in well over a year.

[ToplessRideFL]

We put ourselves on the national and state "do not call" lists. We haven't had any telemarketer calls in well over a year.

ditto......

but a few have slipped through. Not many though... as we never list our home number on much of anything...and we are unlisted in the phone book.

[jonesbeach10]

If they are trying to sell you insurance:

Wow! Thanks! I'm on the highway and I just got into this really bad accident and they tell me I need this insurance thing so I can pay for a new car for the other guy. You should see it, it's absolutely totalled. So about this insurance- Um hello? Hello?

[Quiet and Shy]

We put ourselves on the national and state "do not call" lists. We haven't had any telemarketer calls in well over a year.

ditto......

but a few have slipped through. Not many though... as we never list our home number on much of anything...and we are unlisted in the phone book.

The "do not call list" is one of the best things that's been done. If one slips through, ask them for their contact info and tell them they've violated the law. That takes care of them.

[CapnK]

http://www.donotcall.gov/

[The Lost Manatee]

Before the do not call list and before I had purchased my house I had a guy call me trying to push a mortgage on me. I listened to his pitch and when he got to the question about what interest I was paying and I answered him with "I don't know, hold on a sec and let me go get my mortgage papers". I then put the phone down, walked off and slammed a door or two came back to the phone and asked him to hold on another minute since the papers weren't where I thought they would be. I kept this up for about 10 minutes and then picked up the phone and said "oh, I know why I can't find my mortgage contract, I'm a renter!" That was it, he hung up on me for some reason.

I've always maintained that we should adopt the Swiss approach, you have to actively opt in to be on any calling, mailing or any other type of soliciting list. And as for the argument that telemarketers have the right to call me, I don't know, the phone line running into my house is public property and the wiring inside the house is my personal property and I never gave them permission to utilize my property.

Just my two cents there.

[RinglingRingling]

I'll either hang up on 'em or put the phone on the table and let 'em talk. They'll hang up eventually. I don't get many calls. I guess I'm too rude.

actually, some telemarketers can't hang up... so if you put the phone down, you can keep them tied up for hours. depends on the firm and their client. Aluminum siding folks are good ties. Tho it doesn't really hurt the idiot with the list, just the person on the phone.

[Marnin Grita Guy]

When I was in radio we had this one "special" lady of 40 that lived with her mother. (the daughter was mentally incapacitated is that PC enough?)

Anyways she would call the "jocks" op and talk, and talk, and talk.

One day a very wise and well known DJ said to me "...When (name with held) calls tell her you have diarrhea and you gotta go. Thats what I do."

Thats what I did and do.

I'm a huge major B!ATCH to telemarketers!!!

And I can't stand those people that walk up to you in the mall and want to know your opinion. I usually tell them my husband does all my thinking for me or I'm not allowed to have an opinion or Opinions are like assholes - show me your's and I'll give you mine.

Needless to say I don't go to malls often

Theres another thing, I WILL NOT EAT FOOD SAMPLES!

These people are not supervised or controlled by DHEC!

Have you ever thought about where they keep that electric skillet that they are using? I have watched them be placed in the trunk of a car without being cleaned.

Thanks but no thanks if I want to try something I will buy it.

[Bubbaphan]

I learned some good tips listening to the "Jerky Boys" (prank calls)
Answering a telemarketer in some funny hard to understand psuedo-lithuanian/unknown eastern european accent drives 'em nuts!

he he...I wish one would call now!!

[Catch&Release]

I'm on the do not call list now and it's been great.

Before I got on the list, I would usually lie and tell the callers that I'd just gotten out of prison. Then I'd rant on and on about how awful prison was and how I needed a job and would their company hire me as I'd move anywhere for a job. I'd ask their full name as a reference to use if I could get an interview.

That usually would end the call pretty quickly.

Once in a while I'd get a response from someone who was just out of prison as well. That made me really think about how stupid it is for ANYONE to give personal info over the phone!