If you watch CSI Miami when sober

OceanCityGirl · Post by **OceanCityGirl** » October 18, 2006 5:29 pm

you might like it better this way...
On CSI: Miami, David Caruso plays Lt. Horatio “cool-as-a-cucumber” Caine, or “H” for short. Early NYPD Blue fans will remember Caruso as Andy Sipowicz’s first partner – and the guy who left the show in order to have a “movie career.”

But that didn’t quite happen. So now he’s back on TV leading the procedural crime drama ensemble (filmed in Manhattan Beach) -- which is great for those of us who want to entertain themselves on a really crappy television night (sorry Wife Swap fans). LAist, therefore, would like to introduce our version of “The David Caruso Drinking Game.”

We know that there are several versions of the CSI: Miami drinking game already out there, but we wanted to focus on the greatness that is David Caruso. You see, he plays H so seriously, so one-dimensionally, that we can’t help but guffaw at his dramatic acting tics. Without further ado, here are LAist's rules…

Get your favorite beer ready. (We thought about playing this with hard liquor, but that would be begging for alcohol poisoning before the first commercial break, so beer is the drink of choice for the Caruso.)

1. Drink a sip every time someone calls him "H" not "Horatio"

2. Take one swig every time H places his arms akimbo (on his hips).

3. Take two swigs when Horatio takes his sunglasses off for dramatic effect.

4. Likewise, take two swigs when Horatio puts his sunglasses on for dramatic effect.

5. Take three gulps when H wears a dark blazer in the middle of an investigation. (Hello, pastels…this is hot and humid Miami…Crockett and Tubbs land, remember).

6. Drink for four counts when he addresses Jonathan Togo's character as “Mr. Wolfe.”

7. Drink for five counts when he’s talking and his head is tilted at a 45-degree angle. (Don’t forget to add another count if he has his arms akimbo at the same time.)

8. Drink for six counts when the camera films him entering the scene from a low angle for dramatic effect. Some games refer to this as the "Horatio-as-Christ" shot. (Is this because he’s short? IMDB lists him as 5’11.”)

9. Drink for seven if you ever see him smile. (This is extremely rare, but it does happen on occasion.)

10. Guzzle the entire can/bottle when an incredibly hot babe hits on Horatio. Cause, really, she must have the beer goggles on. Or we should put them on in order to buy it.

If you aren’t a fan of CSI: Miami, trust us, you will be after one round of Caruso playing. Oh yeah, and it really helps if you don’t have to be anywhere early on Tuesday morning. Bottoms up!

Feel free to add your own rules...
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SharkOnLand · Post by **SharkOnLand** » October 18, 2006 5:32 pm

I think I'd be passed out before the first commercial break...

OceanCityGirl · Post by **OceanCityGirl** » October 18, 2006 5:34 pm

I esp. love 2,3, 7,8 and 10.

RinglingRingling · Post by **RinglingRingling** » October 18, 2006 5:35 pm

OceanCityGirl wrote:I esp. love 2,3, 7,8 and 10.

hot babes hit on redheads all the time.

OceanCityGirl · Post by **OceanCityGirl** » October 18, 2006 5:36 pm

hehe. I have a son who's a redhead with freckles. When he was younger he used to dream of having straight black hair. Now since the girls all follow him around and love him he loves his hair. He even grows it long so you can't miss it.

creeky · Post by **creeky** » October 18, 2006 5:45 pm

LIPH · Post by **LIPH** » October 18, 2006 5:46 pm

He's such an awful actor I just can't make myself watch the show.

BTW, those of us of a certain age will also remember Caruso as the leader of the Irish gang on Hill Street Blues.

~Hippolyte~ · Post by **~Hippolyte~** » October 18, 2006 5:57 pm

They forgot number 11

Take a shot when you witness the "sensitive moment" with Horatio Caine. When he acts like he really cares for the kid/mother/assailant/who ever we're supposed to feel bad for in the show.

SharkOnLand · Post by **SharkOnLand** » October 18, 2006 6:26 pm

LIPH wrote:He's such an awful actor I just can't make myself watch the show.

I find his overly dramatic acting hilarious.

LIPH · Post by **LIPH** » October 18, 2006 6:30 pm

He's this generation's William Shatner.

Monkey · Post by **Monkey** » October 18, 2006 7:11 pm

LIPH wrote:He's such an awful actor I just can't make myself watch the show.

BTW, those of us of a certain age will also remember Caruso as the leader of the Irish gang on Hill Street Blues.

I can't stand that guy, he's aweful. He's been aweful in everything i've ever seen him in.

Monkey · Post by **Monkey** » October 18, 2006 7:12 pm

LIPH wrote:He's this generation's William Shatner.

oh crap, can't wait for his musical debut, shatners was great

Duff · Post by **Duff** » October 18, 2006 8:19 pm

Great game. I love the show, especially the short intro which always ends with H saying something hilarious in his serious voice and then breaking into Won't Get Fooled Again. My favorite line ever...

H. Ready to go Johnny?

Johnny. Go where?

H. To jail.

Classic.

captenuta · Post by **captenuta** » October 19, 2006 10:52 am

How about taking a swig when he talks to someone while looking the other way.

Or when he's talking and takes a step or two for dramatic effect.

Who's the blonde investagater who steers into space as she talks to people.

SuperTrooper · Post by **SuperTrooper** » October 19, 2006 11:00 am

LIPH wrote:He's this generation's William Shatner.

OH NO!

I almost didn't make it through high school because of the Star Trek drinking game.

Down a shot every time Kirk does a shoulder roll.

RinglingRingling · Post by **RinglingRingling** » October 19, 2006 11:04 am

captenuta wrote:How about taking a swig when he talks to someone while looking the other way.

Or when he's talking and takes a step or two for dramatic effect.

Who's the blonde investagater who steers into space as she talks to people.

Emily Proctor. and she's getting harsher-looking as the series goes on.

txaggirl91 · Post by **txaggirl91** » October 19, 2006 11:08 am

i like drinking games! i've played several...

everyone knows "hi bob" from the bob newhart show.. drink everytime someone says "hi bob"

then there is the one from urban cowboy - guys do shots everytime someone says bubba. girls take a shot when someone says sissy

my former sister in law made one up to the movie Ace Ventura -everytime he says "alrighty then" you have to drink...

last but not least - the game show press your luck. you take a shot anytime someone says "no whammies"

Dezdmona · Post by **Dezdmona** » October 19, 2006 11:29 am

OMG!

Someone bring this btt before the show comes on next, this is hilarious!

Must try!

col cairo · Post by **col cairo** » October 19, 2006 2:26 pm

LIPH wrote:He's such an awful actor I just can't make myself watch the show.

BTW, those of us of a certain age will also remember Caruso as the leader of the Irish gang on Hill Street Blues.

He was also in the first Rambo movie. I forgot about Hill Street. That was a good cop show.

AdamBomb8 · Post by **AdamBomb8** » October 20, 2006 2:44 am

That would be a hell of a lot of drinking in 1 hour