Page 1 of 1

Men Are Just Happier People

Posted: December 18, 2006 1:26 pm
by Lasergod65
Men Are Just Happier People

What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental- $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!! :pirate: :pirate:

Posted: December 18, 2006 1:39 pm
by Dezdmona
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
Not true for my DH....I require one suitcase, he requires two. :roll:

Posted: December 18, 2006 7:36 pm
by aeroparrot
So true.

Posted: December 18, 2006 7:54 pm
by phjrsaunt
Yeah, but girls are pretty. :lol:

Posted: December 18, 2006 8:37 pm
by SMLCHNG
phjrsaunt wrote:Yeah, but girls are pretty. :lol:
And they smell good. :lol:

Posted: December 18, 2006 10:51 pm
by ragtopW
Dezdmona wrote:A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
Not true for my DH....I require one suitcase, he requires two. :roll:
I also require two.. But one is a C-pap machine..

unless it is for a tailgate party.. Then it's three.. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Posted: December 18, 2006 11:58 pm
by Wino you know
SMLCHNG wrote:
phjrsaunt wrote:Yeah, but girls are pretty. :lol:
And they smell good. :lol:
And some just smell. Image

Posted: December 19, 2006 8:43 am
by CapnK
Wino you know wrote:
SMLCHNG wrote:
phjrsaunt wrote:Yeah, but girls are pretty. :lol:
And they smell good. :lol:
And some just smell. [img]http://www.************.com/forum/images/smiles/lol2.gif[/img]
:lol: :lol: somebody needs to stick up for the guys!

Posted: December 19, 2006 9:59 am
by RinglingRingling
"same job, 41% more pay." :D

Posted: December 19, 2006 10:16 am
by ToplessRideFL
yawn :roll:

Posted: December 19, 2006 5:15 pm
by parrotpartygod
CapnK wrote:
Wino you know wrote:
SMLCHNG wrote:
phjrsaunt wrote:Yeah, but girls are pretty. :lol:
And they smell good. :lol:
And some just smell. [img]http://www.************.com/forum/images/smiles/lol2.gif[/img]
:lol: :lol: somebody needs to stick up for the guys!
Rum & Old Spice (the morning aftershave) :pirate: :pirate:

Posted: December 19, 2006 5:31 pm
by Dezdmona
ragtopW wrote:
Dezdmona wrote:A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
Not true for my DH....I require one suitcase, he requires two. :roll:
I also require two.. But one is a C-pap machine..

unless it is for a tailgate party.. Then it's three.. :lol: :lol: :lol:
Gotcha...tailgaiting is, well...a whole 'nother beast!

Posted: December 20, 2006 9:59 am
by CapnK
parrotpartygod wrote:
CapnK wrote:
Wino you know wrote:
SMLCHNG wrote:
phjrsaunt wrote:Yeah, but girls are pretty. :lol:
And they smell good. :lol:
And some just smell. [img]http://www.************.com/forum/images/smiles/lol2.gif[/img]
:lol: :lol: somebody needs to stick up for the guys!
Rum & Old Spice (the morning aftershave) :pirate: :pirate:
arrh, knew I could count on PPG :D

Posted: December 20, 2006 10:13 am
by RinglingRingling
Dezdmona wrote:
ragtopW wrote:
Dezdmona wrote:A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
Not true for my DH....I require one suitcase, he requires two. :roll:
I also require two.. But one is a C-pap machine..

unless it is for a tailgate party.. Then it's three.. :lol: :lol: :lol:
Gotcha...tailgaiting is, well...a whole 'nother beast!
that is why God invented UPS... it's amazing what you can get delivered to your hotel prior to the event. :D

Posted: December 21, 2006 11:03 pm
by bravedave
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental- $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
Yeah, it needed to be repeated. And it's all true.

Also...

You can read a map without turning it upside down.
You don't need to read the map because you're not lost.

If it's clean enough for you, well... it's clean enough.

Most arguments can be settled over a beer or three.

For you, salsa is a vegetable.

Posted: December 24, 2006 9:21 am
by haititxn
I had to forward this to some people...but not my wife...she just wouldn't see the humor the way I do!