Honor Their Final Wish?

bravedave · Post by **bravedave** » February 3, 2007 8:59 pm

In a sad ending two missing girls were found dead. It appears to be suicide, and many attribute their act to a close relationship. It is not for me (or any stranger) to judge these girls, but their final wish was to be buried together.

"Wherever I end up laying, whether buried or cremated, I want to stay with my true love, buried next to her. This is my choice. I'm sorry."

If you were one of the parents, would you honor their wishes?

pbans · Post by **pbans** » February 3, 2007 9:18 pm

I absolutely would......

Conolulu · Post by **Conolulu** » February 3, 2007 9:22 pm

Yes...I would.

thebeachbumm33 · Post by **thebeachbumm33** » February 3, 2007 9:23 pm

I would hope when my final day comes my wishes are carried out, party on the beach followed by http://www.eternalreefs.com

Coconuts · Post by **Coconuts** » February 3, 2007 10:08 pm

Hey! Someone else who wants to be a reef!

But yes, I would.

ragtopW · Post by **ragtopW** » February 3, 2007 10:14 pm

tough call.. I say yes.

flyboy55 · Post by **flyboy55** » February 3, 2007 10:36 pm

yeah. very sad.

sonofabeach · Post by **sonofabeach** » February 3, 2007 10:53 pm

If I were a parent of the 16 year old I would probably say no.

Lightning Bolt · Post by **Lightning Bolt** » February 3, 2007 10:54 pm

from way over here.... yes

but I sure couldn't speak for their parents

citcat · Post by **citcat** » February 3, 2007 11:50 pm

Hypothetically, I would be so crazed by grief, I'd refuse to do it. I'd probably find some way to blame the other girl or be so mad at my child for doing such a horrid and selfish thing. It would take years of grief therapy to get to a better place in my mind and by then, it would be too late. I'm just being real here. Grief is a very strong, life-limiting thing. Especially when it comes to the death of a child. It would also depend on the other girls' parents, and where the family plot is, etc.

thebeachbumm33 · Post by **thebeachbumm33** » February 4, 2007 12:11 am

Coconuts wrote:Hey! Someone else who wants to be a reef!

But yes, I would.

I feel I should give a little back to the environment after taking so much

Coconuts · Post by **Coconuts** » February 4, 2007 12:32 am

Lightning Bolt wrote:from way over here.... yes

but I sure couldn't speak for their parents

Agreed. An ex-friend died about a month and a half ago, and I think everyone who knew her was shocked to hear that her family took her ashes back to their home (to my knowledge, she hadn't spoken to her parents in years) instead of burying her/spreading her ashes next to her husband's grave. They did eventually decide to divide them, but I doubt those were her wishes.

And beachbum, I just want people to have fun when they go to my final resting place!

tikitatas · Post by **tikitatas** » February 4, 2007 12:15 pm

Regardless where the remains of their physical bodies are put, their spirits now inhabit the akashic field together.

Big Red Parrothead · Post by **Big Red Parrothead** » February 4, 2007 1:27 pm

For me, it would depend on if there was already some kind of "family" cemetary or not. If so, I would prefer to have her buried with the rest of the family. If not, then I might consider it. But realistically, I have to admit that I'd probably be in the same boat as citcat and blame the other girl and not want to have anything to do with her or her family.

OK, now moving on to more cheerful topics . . .

kitty · Post by **kitty** » February 4, 2007 1:46 pm

I would not honor her wishes. 16 year olds are very emotional and say a lot of things that may or may not be taken seriously. She did not leave that wish in a suiside note...perhaps did not even intend for anyone to read it...it was something she wrote in her diary.
Connecting her to the girl that she killed herself with would bring endless years of bad reminders.
There souls are free...that's all that will matter.

ph4ever · Post by **ph4ever** » February 4, 2007 1:53 pm

pbans wrote:I absolutely would......

don't even have to think twice

Moonie · Post by **Moonie** » February 4, 2007 1:56 pm

Cremate them, keeping the ashes of both, whatever...

but it's most important that it be kept private...you've no idea what kind of attention this sort of thing can bring....

morbid as it is, there will be those that would seek out the place of burial and turn it into a shrine.

info regarding the services should be kept as quiet as possible, also. There are those individuals out there that thrive on this and actually show up for services...just to see or be a part it

families of murder and accident victims have to deal with this continually.

Desdamona · Post by **Desdamona** » February 4, 2007 2:17 pm

kitty wrote:Connecting her to the girl that she killed herself with would bring endless years of bad reminders.

Exactly. I can only imagine the additional pain that visiting their "joint grave"
would bring family members for decades to come. And as Moonie pointed out,
such a grave site would become a tourist attraction, which would only increase
the grieving families' pain. Visiting the grave of a teen suicide would be agony
enough.

Dezdmona · Post by **Dezdmona** » February 4, 2007 2:20 pm

tikitatas wrote:Regardless where the remains of their physical bodies are put, their spirits now inhabit the akashic field together.

Agreed.

When my sister passed, she wanted to be cremated, which we honored, but spreading her ashes was something my Mother couldn't bear.
She still hasn't come to terms with my sister's desire to be cremated.

At some point in the future, after my mother has passed away, we will probably spread her ashes as she intended.

It may be long delayed, but my Mother has peace of mind while she is alive that she knows were her daughter's remains are.

bumper · Post by **bumper** » February 4, 2007 2:33 pm

How can we answer that, so many variables that we are not privy to. We only know what we read. Cannot get anymore subjective then that.

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Honor Their Final Wish?

Would you honor their wish?

Honor Their Final Wish?