Wife Jokes
Posted: February 12, 2007 1:29 pm
Wife: Honey..... What are you looking for?
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing...?? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour??
Husband: I was just looking for the expiration date.
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Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and No.
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Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at
your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
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Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
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Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
_____________________________________________________________________
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
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Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
____________________________________________________________________
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the early warning.
_____________________________________________________________________
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor.
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing...?? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour??
Husband: I was just looking for the expiration date.
____________________________________________________________________
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and No.
_____________________________________________________________________
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at
your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
____________________________________________________________________
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
____________________________________________________________________
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
_____________________________________________________________________
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
__________________________________________________________________
Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
____________________________________________________________________
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the early warning.
_____________________________________________________________________
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor.
