This is absolutely disturbing!

kitty · Post by **kitty** » April 4, 2007 5:00 pm

just for the record...BB and SGH:
I have always been inpressed with the things you post regarding morals and child rearing...too bad there are not enough people like us in the world who actually care about our children's character. It is a sad state of affairs.

LIPH · Post by **LIPH** » April 4, 2007 5:03 pm

It's the Oprahization of society. When something goes wrong it's somebody else's fault, or it's because you grew up poor, or mommy and daddy didn't tell you they loved you often enough. Nobody takes responsibility for anything anymore.

SchoolGirlHeart · Post by **SchoolGirlHeart** » April 4, 2007 5:04 pm

Moonie wrote:I don't recall ever spanking mine after they were 3, maybe 4 years old...

same here. by the time they were 5 they were old enough for isolation or removal of privileges (like TV) to have the desired effect.

OceanCityGirl · Post by **OceanCityGirl** » April 4, 2007 5:05 pm

I am glad my kids are a bit older now.
I highly recommend American Girl dolls. They are well made and my daughter got them in the early days and still has it. She will be able to pass it down. If you pay the money for the doll there are alot of ways to save on clothes and accessories. Then you have the wonderful book tie ins. We've been to the American Girl Place in Chicago also, which is very nice with a hair salon.
My recommendation, keep your kids busy. Sports are great if they love them. They will be so busy there is less time for trouble. No guarantee but it helps. If sports aren't their thing do band/choir/drama. Make your home the hang-out place from the earliest time. The cost in chips and soda will be offset by knowing their friends and where they are. There are times it makes me crazy. I have converted my dining room into a rec-room. I have a surf board rack on my back porch filled with their friends boards. Guitar amps in the rec room. So my house is well, you see...But it's worth it.

kitty · Post by **kitty** » April 4, 2007 5:05 pm

SchoolGirlHeart wrote:
Moonie wrote:I don't recall ever spanking mine after they were 3, maybe 4 years old...
same here. by the time they were 5 they were old enough for isolation or removal of privileges (like TV) to have the desired effect.

I slapped my son once...and that is all it took for me to realize that I only want to hit when I am out of control...so I realized that spanking was not going to work for me. Time ots worked great...now it is taking away things..

buffettbride · Post by **buffettbride** » April 4, 2007 5:06 pm

you're a pretty swell momma yourself kitty.

i just love my kids to pieces and take my job as a mom way more seriously than anything else i do.

buffettbride · Post by **buffettbride** » April 4, 2007 5:09 pm

kitty wrote:
SchoolGirlHeart wrote:
Moonie wrote:I don't recall ever spanking mine after they were 3, maybe 4 years old...
same here. by the time they were 5 they were old enough for isolation or removal of privileges (like TV) to have the desired effect.
I slapped my son once...and that is all it took for me to realize that I only want to hit when I am out of control...so I realized that spanking was not going to work for me. Time ots worked great...now it is taking away things..

My husband and I were just talking today that our son is almost "out of the woods" as far as spanking age.

As much as I hate it, don't think there's not times where I've thought a swat on the ass wouldn't fix things right up. He's three and spanking isn't even really suggested for kids over 5 I think (and not recommended at all by the AAP anymore). We've never spanked either of our children. Hubby had a lot more than spanking as part of his upbringing and I knew for the same reasons as kitty that I just could never do it because it would be because I was out of control. Alas, time-outs and loss of privelige/toys has worked wonders for us even though it takes a little more patience and a little more time to get a situation turned around.

Brown Eyed Girl · Post by **Brown Eyed Girl** » April 4, 2007 5:19 pm

I have permission to post this.

The second grade son of someone I am very close to basically had a BJ attempted on him by a 3rd grade girl, someone he'd known all his life. They are often at each other's houses, much like brother and sister. Their families didn't think they needed to watch them like hawks every second, who would?

It is extremely disturbing for us, not only for the potential of how this may affect his future, but the also for the fact that the little girl had to learn how to do that from somewhere or someone.

It is heartbreaking, because the innocence has been robbed from both these children. It makes us angry because no 7 or 8 year olds should EVER know what that is even about. And it's frustrating, because how do you fix it? You can't go back in time and hit the erase button. We just have to be vigilant and try to protect him as best we can, and be aware of changes in his behavior. For now he seems okay...he thought it was yucky and seems to have moved on. But will it be that way in the future?

It ripped my heart out, and he's not my son. But he and his Daddy mean the world to me.

All I can say is protect your kids, ask them question and don't be afraid to be the parent. I saw stuff like this throughout my whole career, and I never got immune to how disturbing it was. But I never expected it to hit this close to home.

Brown Eyed Girl · Post by **Brown Eyed Girl** » April 4, 2007 5:26 pm

OceanCityGirl wrote:I am glad my kids are a bit older now.
I highly recommend American Girl dolls. They are well made and my daughter got them in the early days and still has it. She will be able to pass it down. If you pay the money for the doll there are alot of ways to save on clothes and accessories. Then you have the wonderful book tie ins. We've been to the American Girl Place in Chicago also, which is very nice with a hair salon.
My recommendation, keep your kids busy. Sports are great if they love them. They will be so busy there is less time for trouble. No guarantee but it helps. If sports aren't their thing do band/choir/drama. Make your home the hang-out place from the earliest time. The cost in chips and soda will be offset by knowing their friends and where they are. There are times it makes me crazy. I have converted my dining room into a rec-room. I have a surf board rack on my back porch filled with their friends boards. Guitar amps in the rec room. So my house is well, you see...But it's worth it.

I will definitely keep them in mind, so far she isn't real doll crazy. And there are so few dolls you can get them when they are under 3, now we have a few more choices.

I went looking for a "family" of dolls for her dollhouse she got for Christmas (btw, building a dollhouse on Christmas eve ranks right up there with building a bike...ugh!) and there was no such animal. I know they existed when i was younger, and I'm sure they still do, but not at Target at least. I had the "Sunshine Family".

OceanCityGirl · Post by **OceanCityGirl** » April 4, 2007 5:30 pm

BEG - that is so disturbing. That can't be undone. Here is the big problem. There is no separation of kids and adults. To know something like that somebody allowed inappropriate info in her life which should be filled with barbies, jump rope, and freeze tag.
I don't have young kids now so I don't pay as much attention as i used to but every now and then I'll think why was that just on tv, what time is it. Same with radio. My kids grew up with computers but they didn't have them in their room until they were around 16, and even then we could still just look things up if we wanted to.
Those poor kids. If i were his parents I'd probably contact authorities out of concern that there is abuse in the young girl's life.

buffettbride · Post by **buffettbride** » April 4, 2007 5:47 pm

Brown Eyed Girl wrote:
OceanCityGirl wrote:I am glad my kids are a bit older now.
I highly recommend American Girl dolls. They are well made and my daughter got them in the early days and still has it. She will be able to pass it down. If you pay the money for the doll there are alot of ways to save on clothes and accessories. Then you have the wonderful book tie ins. We've been to the American Girl Place in Chicago also, which is very nice with a hair salon.
My recommendation, keep your kids busy. Sports are great if they love them. They will be so busy there is less time for trouble. No guarantee but it helps. If sports aren't their thing do band/choir/drama. Make your home the hang-out place from the earliest time. The cost in chips and soda will be offset by knowing their friends and where they are. There are times it makes me crazy. I have converted my dining room into a rec-room. I have a surf board rack on my back porch filled with their friends boards. Guitar amps in the rec room. So my house is well, you see...But it's worth it.
I will definitely keep them in mind, so far she isn't real doll crazy. And there are so few dolls you can get them when they are under 3, now we have a few more choices.

I went looking for a "family" of dolls for her dollhouse she got for Christmas (btw, building a dollhouse on Christmas eve ranks right up there with building a bike...ugh!) and there was no such animal. I know they existed when i was younger, and I'm sure they still do, but not at Target at least. I had the "Sunshine Family".

The Loving Family by Fisher Price.

I have a doll house of said brand w/ dolls for sale if you'd like.

OceanCityGirl · Post by **OceanCityGirl** » April 4, 2007 5:50 pm

Three is still baby doll stage. My daughter was never a big doll person. To her American Girl dolls were different because she was a big reader and had read some of the books. We had also been to Colonial Williamsburg. So to her it was like a history thing and she got some time authentic accessories.

Brown Eyed Girl · Post by **Brown Eyed Girl** » April 4, 2007 7:08 pm

OceanCityGirl wrote:BEG - that is so disturbing. That can't be undone. Here is the big problem. There is no separation of kids and adults. To know something like that somebody allowed inappropriate info in her life which should be filled with barbies, jump rope, and freeze tag.
I don't have young kids now so I don't pay as much attention as i used to but every now and then I'll think why was that just on tv, what time is it. Same with radio. My kids grew up with computers but they didn't have them in their room until they were around 16, and even then we could still just look things up if we wanted to.
Those poor kids. If i were his parents I'd probably contact authorities out of concern that there is abuse in the young girl's life.

Thanks OCG...

We are pursuing the abuse angle.

After working with preschoolers all my career, I kept thinking I'd seen it all with what they were exposed to. And every year I continued to be shocked. I really wonder what some people are thinking when it comes to what they let their kids see and do.

Don't get me started on the older kids. And we wonder why kids are so messed up?

Wino you know · Post by **Wino you know** » April 5, 2007 12:30 am

AW, HELL!
I was spanked up until I was 18 (when I left home), and look how I turned out.

Tequila Revenge · Post by **Tequila Revenge** » April 5, 2007 12:44 am

Wino you know wrote:AW, HELL!
I was spanked up until I was 18 (when I left home), and look how I turned out.

spanking makes kids Yankee fans AND Republicans

Mr Play · Post by **Mr Play** » April 5, 2007 12:58 am

So besides the 5 involved, there were 10 other kids in the classroom. Why didn't any of them tell their parents about it that night?

How was the monitoring teacher allowed to leave the class unattended for that long? Is the teacher being disciplined for that?

Mr Play · Post by **Mr Play** » April 5, 2007 1:17 am

green1 wrote:
sunseeker wrote:I don't think this can be blamed on any one person, but society as a whole. . . I believe WE have created this monster.
Our society has created this. But what is wrong with holding parents responsible for the actions of their children, along with the children? Parents are supposed to teach their kids right from wrong. And if they have to work, then they are suppsoed to ensure that their kids are being cared for by responsible adults, but in the end it is the parent's responsibility.

Yes the parents are responsible for teaching their children right and wrong, regardless of societal influences. But it is the school's responsibility to provide quality teachers, especially since most parents don't have the luxury of choosing the school or the teacher for their children.

Brown Eyed Girl · Post by **Brown Eyed Girl** » April 5, 2007 1:42 am

Mr Play wrote:
green1 wrote:
sunseeker wrote:I don't think this can be blamed on any one person, but society as a whole. . . I believe WE have created this monster.
Our society has created this. But what is wrong with holding parents responsible for the actions of their children, along with the children? Parents are supposed to teach their kids right from wrong. And if they have to work, then they are suppsoed to ensure that their kids are being cared for by responsible adults, but in the end it is the parent's responsibility.
Yes the parents are responsible for teaching their children right and wrong, regardless of societal influences. But it is the school's responsibility to provide quality teachers, especially since most parents don't have the luxury of choosing the school or the teacher for their children.

So it's the school's fault this happened?

Obviously a poor choice was made by the teacher, that is inexcusable. But chances are this behavior had already occurred elsewhere, circumstances allowed it to happen in the classroom.

green1 · Post by **green1** » April 5, 2007 9:23 am

Mr Play wrote:Yes the parents are responsible for teaching their children right and wrong, regardless of societal influences. But it is the school's responsibility to provide quality teachers, especially since most parents don't have the luxury of choosing the school or the teacher for their children.

If the parents had taught the children right from wrong and moral behavior this wouldn't have happened in the classroom. The fact that the teacher was absent is not the cause of the behavior, it was the absence that allowed the behavior to exhibit itself. The tacher should be disciplined for leaving a classroom unattended, nto for what happened inside it. That should be on the parents of, and the students who paticipated.

Brown Eyed Girl · Post by **Brown Eyed Girl** » April 5, 2007 11:14 am

green1 wrote:
Mr Play wrote:Yes the parents are responsible for teaching their children right and wrong, regardless of societal influences. But it is the school's responsibility to provide quality teachers, especially since most parents don't have the luxury of choosing the school or the teacher for their children.
If the parents had taught the children right from wrong and moral behavior this wouldn't have happened in the classroom. The fact that the teacher was absent is not the cause of the behavior, it was the absence that allowed the behavior to exhibit itself. The tacher should be disciplined for leaving a classroom unattended, nto for what happened inside it. That should be on the parents of, and the students who paticipated.

thanks green, that was what my brain was thinking last nite, but my fingers weren't typing it.

Values are supposed to be taught at home.

BuffettNews.com

This is absolutely disturbing!

Re: This is absolutely disturbing!