PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

[britparrothead]

PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out

8. You can eat supper at 4 PM

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to payoff.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather
service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember
them either

18. Your supply of brain cells are finally down to manageable size

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
And you notice these are all in LARGE Print for your convenience.

[ragtopW]

not there ..yet...

[Wino you know]

20. You can drive around in your S.U.V. to warm up the planet and laugh about it afterwards.

[LIPH]

PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather
service.

This has been true since I was about 25.