Say what you mean, mean what you say!!

[ladyparrothead]

Women's English

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

5. We need = I want.

6. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

7. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

8. We need to talk = I need to complain.

9. Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to.

10. I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

11. You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

12. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

13. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

14. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

15. I want new curtains = and carpeting, furniture and wallpaper...

16. Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

17. I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

18. Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

19. How much do you love me? = I did something you're not going to like.

20. I'll be ready in a minute = Sit down and find a good game on TV.

21. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

22. You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

23. Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead.

24. Was that the baby? = Get out of bed and walk him until he's asleep.

25. I'm not yelling! = I am yelling because I think this is important.

26. The answer to "What's wrong?": The same old thing = Nothing

27. Nothing = Everything

28. Everything = My PMS is acting up

Men's English

1. I'm hungry. = I'm hungry.

2. I'm sleepy. = I'm sleepy.

3. I'm tired. = I'm tired.

4. I want = I want.

5. You need = I want.

6. We need = I want.

7. I'm sorry. = Will you quit bitching now?

8. Do you want to see a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

9. Can I take you out to dinner? =
I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

10. Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

11. May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

12. Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!

13. You look tense, let me give you a massage= I want to have sex with you.

14. What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.

15. What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

16. What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

17. I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex?

18. I love you. = Let's have sex now.

19. I love you, too. = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

20. Yes, I like your hair cut. = I liked it better before.

21. Yes, I like your hair cut. = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

22. Let's talk. = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

23. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

24. (While Shopping) I like that one better. = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

[ragtopW]

[IrishPirate]