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[britparrothead]

Here are some of the best refrigerator-magnet and
kitchen/threshold-plaque sayings I've ever seen!

~ "So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust!"

~ "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never
cease to be amused."

~ "Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself!"

~ "I clean house every other day. Today is the other day."

~ "If you write in the dust, please don't date it!"

~ "I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!"

~ "My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!"

~ "I came, I saw, I decided to order Take Out."

~ "If you don't like my standards of cooking...lower your standards!"

~ "Although you'll find our house a mess, come in, sit down, converse."

~ "It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse!"

~ "A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious."

~ "A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!"

~ "Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator."

~ "Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to
lead normal lives."

~ "My next house will have no kitchen ... just vending machines ."

~ "I'd love to live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed
bump!"

[Missing B'dos]

But the best one is...

"The best things in life are not things."

[TropicalTroubador]

I like, "This house is clean enough to be healthy and cluttered enough to be happy."

Also, "This isn't Burger King. You get it my way, or you don't get the sonofab*tch."

[ragtopW]

I have.. the Menu has two choices..
Take it
Leave it.