Why is a Christmas tree better than a man?

[Hoosier PH]

1. A Christmas tree is always erect.

2. Even small ones give satisfaction.

3. A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.

4. It looks good - even with the lights on.

5. A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.

6. A Christmas tree has cute balls.

7. You can throw a Christmas tree out when it's past its sell-by date.

8. You don't have to put up with a Christmas tree all year

[bravedave]

Oh Yeah?!!!

1. You spend all day looking for the right one, but by the time you get them set up, they all look alike.

2. The guy who points out the best one wants $65 for his trouble.

3. They refuse to drive home, even in the worst weather; they just lay on the roof of your car.

4. As soon as you put your hands on them, they start to needle you.

5. If you get your hands around their trunk for even a second, you're going to end up all sticky.

6. Every time you look, there they are... in the same place.

7. The balls are just for decoration.

8. If you don't pour liquid in they start dropping stuff.

9. They leave a huge mess when you drag them out of the house.

10. It takes six months to get their smell out of your vacuum cleaner.

[ragtopW]