"No Parent Left Behind"

Fruitcake14 · Post by **Fruitcake14** » March 26, 2008 4:33 pm

NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND...

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud. These are real notes written by parents in an A LABAMA school district.

Mis-spellings have been left intact:

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe the sh!ts.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wears

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hotlast night

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.

Dezdmona · Post by **Dezdmona** » March 26, 2008 4:49 pm

I'd laugh more if it wasn't so sad.

flyboy55 · Post by **flyboy55** » March 26, 2008 4:50 pm

Fruitcake14 wrote:NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND...

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

This one demonstrates a mind that is either marginally creative or belongs to a borderline simpleton. I can't decide which one and I don't know if more education would help.

green1 · Post by **green1** » March 26, 2008 4:52 pm

Fruitcake14 wrote:18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines

Can always count on the Marines.

OystersandBeer · Post by **OystersandBeer** » March 26, 2008 11:38 pm

These aren't from parents in Alabama. It was one of them damn yankee states, like NH.

I can't let these kind of jokes slide, seeing as I'm from LA and all.

Bob Roberts · Post by **Bob Roberts** » March 27, 2008 12:25 pm

This has gotten quite a few laughs today at school. As a public school teacher in a low-income area, all of these are completely believeable and don't shock me a bit. Just think..we get this stuff everyday. The best one we've ever gotten was a few years ago.............

Please excuse my child for gym. The doctor said they have the Fetus C-derm.

So sad it's hillarious, but definately sad. The child had fetal alcohol syndrome.

phjrsaunt · Post by **phjrsaunt** » March 27, 2008 12:41 pm

This country is going to heck in a handbasket.

Fruitcake14 · Post by **Fruitcake14** » March 27, 2008 7:07 pm

Bob Roberts wrote: This has gotten quite a few laughs today at school. As a public school teacher in a low-income area, all of these are completely believeable and don't shock me a bit. Just think..we get this stuff everyday. The best one we've ever gotten was a few years ago.............

Please excuse my child for gym. The doctor said they have the Fetus C-derm.

So sad it's hillarious, but definately sad. The child had fetal alcohol syndrome.

I'm in the same boat...I know there a few teachers on the board that would appreciate this....regardless of where they're from....

conched · Post by **conched** » March 27, 2008 7:24 pm

Bob Roberts wrote: This has gotten quite a few laughs today at school. As a public school teacher in a low-income area, all of these are completely believeable and don't shock me a bit. Just think..we get this stuff everyday. The best one we've ever gotten was a few years ago.............

Please excuse my child for gym. The doctor said they have the Fetus C-derm.

So sad it's hillarious, but definately sad. The child had fetal alcohol syndrome.

Bless you, Bob Roberts!

One of my favorites was:

Please excuse Dora from PE today. She's a pain in the neck.

Amen, amen!

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