Aircraft Mechanic

[Pir8-200yrs-2-L8]

In case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane
but only a high school diploma to fix one. That's real reassurance for those
of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,"
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots
review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that
ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual gripe sheets
submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded by
maintenance engineers (S).
PS - (I DON"T THINK MOST OF THEM ARE ACTUAL)

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an
accident.


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.


P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.


P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.


P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.


P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.


P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.


P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.


P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.


P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.


P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.


P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.


P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

[ragtopW]

[aeroparrot]

[HULA GIRL^]

[pojo]

aint' that the truth!

one of our crew chief's has that same saying!!! it takes a college degree to break the plane and a high school degree to fix it.

[Karacal]