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Posted: May 3, 2008 10:52 pm
by creeky
ragtopW wrote:ph4ever wrote:aeroparrot wrote:To continue what I am saying, I feel that a good hate is sometimes good.
Can you give an example of a good hate?
child molesters..
I have unfortunatley been in the situation where someone I knew was a child molester - and had given me some clues that he was - and I did not pick up on them (so I had "issues" when he was arrested). When he was arrested - the guys from the army had that "good hate" ... the only problem is they were going to do something illegal with that - ie kill the guy .... for what he did to kids we all knew ...
so in the end - good hate can be bad
Posted: May 3, 2008 10:52 pm
by popcornjack
creeky wrote:I should date Wayne and Ravi ...
oh wait .. already had the date with Wayne
![[smilie=battingeyes.gif]](./images/smilies/battingeyes.gif "battingeyes")
ALL the men i have ever dated have been Scorpio - go figure
I guess that puts me next in line.
I don't know if it's holding a grudge or not, but when someone does me wrong, I don't go out my way to make up for it, but I am d*** well sure they know about it if I end up getting the better of them.
Posted: May 3, 2008 10:53 pm
by creeky
aeroparrot wrote:ragtopW wrote:ph4ever wrote:creeky wrote:ph4ever wrote:It depends on the "incident".
It also depends on if I receive a genuine apology. By genuine I'm not talking about apologizing for something and then turning around and doing exactly what you just apologized for either. It's sad that some people just aren't decent enough to offer a sincere apology.
That being said I've also found that the majority of the BN'ers are forgiving if you do offer a genuine apology. Well unless they've been screwed over bad........
And that being said there are simply some things I will not apologize for. About 2 months ago I went off on someone in a big way - I will NEVER apologize for that- nope not one iota. The persons involved deserved it and much more...
I tend to guage on intention rather than the severity of the issue - sometimes an innocent error can result in the ugliest of issues - but if there was no bad intent - I will forgive.
If there is intent - well - GONE!!!!
Intent plays a big part for me too. So does remorse.
Yeah.. I suspect that I anger more people by not meaning what
they heard, than I do by doing/saying something wrong..
Um... if everyone were to have a grudge against me for the stupid things I have said, unintentionally done or said, then everyone would loathe me.
I have seen you hold a grudge ...it was a very drunken grudge in FL .. but it was a well deserved grudge ... but you were wanting to do something bad with that grudge
Posted: May 3, 2008 10:54 pm
by creeky
popcornjack wrote:creeky wrote:I should date Wayne and Ravi ...
oh wait .. already had the date with Wayne
ALL the men i have ever dated have been Scorpio - go figure
I guess that puts me next in line.
I don't know if it's holding a grudge or not, but when someone does me wrong, I don't go out my way to make up for it, but I am d*** well sure they know about it if I end up getting the better of them.
ok get in line then
Wondering when my date with Ravi will be? Maybe we can go to Jamaica and watch cricket
Posted: May 3, 2008 10:54 pm
by Mottola-Buffett
If I'm wronged, I expect an apology. If no apology is forthcoming, I just become more distant and cold toward that person. My husband, on the other hand is the King of holding grudges. He'll hold a grudge for YEARS. In fact, he has one brother whom he's chosen not to see or speak to in 18 years! (because his brother wouldn't interrupt his Disney vacation to go home for their father's dying days and, ultimately, funeral). Can't say I blame my husband.
Posted: May 3, 2008 10:55 pm
by ph4ever
ragtopW wrote:ph4ever wrote:aeroparrot wrote:To continue what I am saying, I feel that a good hate is sometimes good.
Can you give an example of a good hate?
child molesters..
yea that is a good one
or a thief that has no remorse
Posted: May 3, 2008 10:57 pm
by ph4ever
Mottola-Buffett wrote:If I'm wronged, I expect an apology. If no apology is forthcoming, I just become more distant and cold toward that person. My husband, on the other hand is the King of holding grudges. He'll hold a grudge for YEARS. In fact, he has one brother whom he's chosen not to see or speak to in 18 years! (because his brother wouldn't interrupt his Disney vacation to go home for their father's dying days and, ultimately, funeral). Can't say I blame my husband.
It's been over 12 since I talked to my half brother - don't know where he is, don't care.
I'm the same way about a couple of aunts too.
Posted: May 3, 2008 10:59 pm
by creeky
ph4ever wrote:Mottola-Buffett wrote:If I'm wronged, I expect an apology. If no apology is forthcoming, I just become more distant and cold toward that person. My husband, on the other hand is the King of holding grudges. He'll hold a grudge for YEARS. In fact, he has one brother whom he's chosen not to see or speak to in 18 years! (because his brother wouldn't interrupt his Disney vacation to go home for their father's dying days and, ultimately, funeral). Can't say I blame my husband.
It's been over 12 since I talked to my half brother - don't know where he is, don't care.
I'm the same way about a couple of aunts too.
<father
Posted: May 3, 2008 11:00 pm
by ph4ever
creeky wrote:ph4ever wrote:Mottola-Buffett wrote:If I'm wronged, I expect an apology. If no apology is forthcoming, I just become more distant and cold toward that person. My husband, on the other hand is the King of holding grudges. He'll hold a grudge for YEARS. In fact, he has one brother whom he's chosen not to see or speak to in 18 years! (because his brother wouldn't interrupt his Disney vacation to go home for their father's dying days and, ultimately, funeral). Can't say I blame my husband.
It's been over 12 since I talked to my half brother - don't know where he is, don't care.
I'm the same way about a couple of aunts too.
<father
so I guess our answer is yes
Posted: May 3, 2008 11:03 pm
by creeky
ph4ever wrote:creeky wrote:ph4ever wrote:Mottola-Buffett wrote:If I'm wronged, I expect an apology. If no apology is forthcoming, I just become more distant and cold toward that person. My husband, on the other hand is the King of holding grudges. He'll hold a grudge for YEARS. In fact, he has one brother whom he's chosen not to see or speak to in 18 years! (because his brother wouldn't interrupt his Disney vacation to go home for their father's dying days and, ultimately, funeral). Can't say I blame my husband.
It's been over 12 since I talked to my half brother - don't know where he is, don't care.
I'm the same way about a couple of aunts too.
<father
so I guess our answer is yes
well he wrote me out of his will - for no other reason than I look like my mother ... and then he ran away from us ..... without a word (6 years ago) - so he will never be a part of my life for what he has put us through prior to that and then just ran away.
Posted: May 3, 2008 11:13 pm
by carolinagirl
I believe in conflict resolution, so my answer is no.
In the past, my memory has been so bad that I forget things that people do to me or I think they couldn't have meant it that way, when they did!
In the last several years however, I was scammed really badly by someone I thought was a "good, good friend," mainly because she kept saying that. I had to get it through my head that it was intentional and malicious. It was a lesson I needed to learn.
Other times I've had people hold grudges against me, thinking I did something out of meanness, and it hurts. Really bad.
I'm a dog (Chinese Dog Year). I'm incredibly loyal and have a hard time letting go of someone I have ever cared about.
Posted: May 3, 2008 11:48 pm
by Brown Eyed Girl
pbans wrote:ParrotheadKalee wrote:pbans wrote:yes, I carry a grudge.....but I also believe in karma....so I don't really act on them....time will take care of things.
Agree 100%! Karma will get those people every time
I had some incredible proof of Karma today.....a former co-worker of mine who is/was the biggest back stabbing, lying, cheating SOB I've ever known in my LIFE was teaching a gun safety class today and shot himself......
and yes, he's hurt, but I guess he's going to be okay....Karma is a b*tch
Now THAT'S comedy!
But true karma would have been him shooting his weiner off...
Posted: May 3, 2008 11:50 pm
by LIPH
Yes I do. If I ever see that guy from last Saturday night again I'll kick his little b**** a$$ around the block and back again.
Posted: May 3, 2008 11:52 pm
by Brown Eyed Girl
LIPH wrote:Yes I do. If I ever see that guy from last Saturday night again I'll kick his little b**** a$$ around the block and back again.
I'm sensing a story here...and not a happy one. Does this have anything to do with why you were late getting into the concert?
Posted: May 3, 2008 11:53 pm
by ragtopW
LIPH wrote:Yes I do. If I ever see that guy from last Saturday night again I'll kick his little b**** a$$ around the block and back again.
I'll take his friends..
Posted: May 4, 2008 12:10 am
by ragtopW
carolinagirl wrote:I believe in conflict resolution, so my answer is no.
In the past, my memory has been so bad that I forget things that people do to me or I think they couldn't have meant it that way, when they did!
In the last several years however, I was scammed really badly by someone I thought was a "good, good friend," mainly because she kept saying that. I had to get it through my head that it was intentional and malicious. It was a lesson I needed to learn.
Other times I've had people hold grudges against me, thinking I did something out of meanness, and it hurts. Really bad.
I'm a dog (Chinese Dog Year). I'm incredibly loyal and have a hard time letting go of someone I have ever cared about.
Oh yeah.. I am a Rat to boot...
Posted: May 4, 2008 12:17 am
by LIPH
ragtopW wrote:LIPH wrote:Yes I do. If I ever see that guy from last Saturday night again I'll kick his little b**** a$$ around the block and back again.
I'll take his friends..
I'm thinking if you had been there we both would have needed bail money.
Posted: May 4, 2008 12:18 am
by ragtopW
Posted: May 4, 2008 12:27 am
by ph4ever
hmmmmmmmmm I know a good bonding company.............
Posted: May 4, 2008 12:28 am
by ragtopW