BuffettNews.com

Political Correctness



Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America ,


Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.'


You must now refer to them as


APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .





HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
' BREASTED AMERICAN.'



2. She is not 'EASY' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'


3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'


4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'


5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'


6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a
' LOW COST PROVIDER.'


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'


2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'


3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'



4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in

'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'



5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of

RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'



6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's

'REAR CLEAVAGE.'

I recall one routine by that cartoon squirrel with extreme attitude (his name escapes me at the moment) in which he rags on the concept of a "Certified Pre-Owned car." He said, "You can't fool me - that means 'used.' Would you call a divorced woman "Certified Pre-F*cked?"